Going to a Gay Bar

[DiscoBoy]

I've been to a few (though, not very many times).

The one time I really threw myself into the mix was with this one female friend of mine. We started the night at this one, more popular bar, and the crowd was a younger one that night. We left within half an hour because the people we approached (and there were plenty) were quite rude to that female friend of mine. I can't really abide that nonsense, there's no need to be rude to someone, regardless of a "conflict of interests", so we headed over to the bear/leather bar next door. That was a lot more pleasant. The folks there weren't nearly as attractive, and it wasn't exactly my scene, but they were infinitely more enjoyable to be around (that female friend of mine ended up making several friends-- the damn faghag). In the end, I really hit it off with this one person I found attractive and things turned out well.

Anyway, if you don't feel comfortable in whatever setting you happen to find yourself in, do yourself a favour and leave.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I'd rather go to a gay bar than a straight bar ANY day. I used to sneak in with my fake id when i was 18 and you had to be 21. They are having much more fun in there, lots more smiles, lots more laughs. You can be straight as an arrow and be accepted for who you are.

After all you are among people who know what it is like to be excluded for being different. There is often a lot of acceptance for all types there. The music is better, the dancing is better. The company is better.

I don't have experience with many of them but any i've ever been to are awesome. Not a bunch of dudes getting too drunk and wanting to fight. Everyone is there for a different reason but mostly to have fun.

A lot of peacocks on display when it comes to looks, makeup, outfits, etc. A lot of straight people prefer to go to gay bars because the atmosphere is much more light hearted.

But there are only a couple of them at most in my city, they are mostly your dance club scene type places.

 

[mephistopheles]

Ohhhhh clearly You've never been to New York or New Jersey. :tongue:
Well - You have to be into booze, blaringly loud thumpa-thumpa music, & dancing. I'm not into any of the above, so bars aren't really for me. I'd definitely recommend You go if You've never been before though. Have a blast!

Love booze.

Also, I'm a musician and I play concerts and things of that nature all the time. (Haven't played at a bar since most of my band mates are under 21 though.)
So loud music and things like that are all second nature to me... but I get the feeling a bar is quite different from a punk rock venue.

I'm not quite sure.

 

[deleted3782]

I've now been to three gay bars in three midwestern cities in the past three days. The dynamic seems to be that people go to gay bars here in groups...males, females, or mixed, and they pretty much stick together that whole time. Gay bars are more of a social scene where you can go with your friends...but not really a place to meet new people. Maybe all the cruising that used to go on in bars has moved to gay "Kum & Go" sites. I still enjoy the music and people watching...but if you wanna meet someone then your gonna have to be very outgoing and assert yourself into some pre-established and chummy groups of friends.

 

[Mickactual]

The dynamic seems to be that people go to gay bars here in groups...males, females, or mixed, and they pretty much stick together that whole time.

Another reason I avoid them now: too many females...too many cliques. Where do gay men do their cruising nowadays (and if You say LPSG You will get betchslapped)?

Love booze.

Me too - but only with meals. I never just sit at a bar and drink.

Also, I'm a musician and I play concerts and things of that nature all the time. (Haven't played at a bar since most of my band mates are under 21 though.)
So loud music and things like that are all second nature to me... but I get the feeling a bar is quite different from a punk rock venue. I'm not quite sure.

Very different. I'm a musician too, but that blaring dance/trance/techno thumpa-thumpa crap they numb Your mind with in the bars doesn't even remotely speak to the musician in me.

...But I still say go and check out the scene for Yourself.

 

[scottredleter]

It's a bar. You need to keep your guard up in any bar. other than that, it's just a bar.

 

[TomCat84]

Another reason I avoid them now: too many females...too many cliques. Where do gay men do their cruising nowadays (and if You say LPSG You will get betchslapped)?

Me too - but only with meals. I never just sit at a bar and drink.
Very different. I'm a musician too, but that blaring dance/trance/techno thumpa-thumpa crap they numb Your mind with in the bars doesn't even remotely speak to the musician in me.

...But I still say go and check out the scene for Yourself.

Let's be intellectually honest to this kid- there are MANY types of bars (gay and straight), and there are plenty of bars that don't play mind-numbing dance music. There are country bars and leather bars, twink bars, and circuit queen bars, mexican food bars, and wine bars.....dance clubs and lounge clubs. There are MANY types. I tend to frequent gay bars in San Diego that are more "normal guy" types of bars.

 

[deleted3782]

Another reason I avoid them now: too many females...too many cliques. Where do gay men do their cruising nowadays (and if You say LPSG You will get betchslapped)?

I would never say that. I've only messed around with two from here. :tongue:

I have no idea where guys meet guys. That would be a reason why I haven't met anyone in ages.

 

[mephistopheles]

I have no idea where guys meet guys. That would be a reason why I haven't met anyone in ages.

That's been my initial response to this whole thing, but then I realized that finding guys or girls is easier than it seems. Finding a guy is definitely harder where I am at, but it's not impossible.

 

[Mickactual]

I would never say that. I've only messed around with two from here. :tongue:

Sorry I'm not closer - I'd offer to make it three. Seriously.

I have no idea where guys meet guys. That would be a reason why I haven't met anyone in ages.

Relax -a man as desirable as You should have no problems in that area.

Finding a guy is definitely harder where I am at, but it's not impossible.

At the risk of sounding repetitious: relax -a man as desirable as You should have no problems in that area. Now go to that damn bar, have a blast, and let us know how it went!
:smile:

 

[deleted3782]

Sorry I'm not closer - I'd offer to make it three. Seriously.
Relax -a man as desirable as You should have no problems in that area.

Flattery like that will get you just about anything.

Thanks for the kind words. :smile:

 

[bigbull29]

There is a lot of attitude in gay clubs and bar in NYC. It's not laid-back. Sometimes in the smaller gay bars in the West Village it's not as bad. There's a couple ok hang-outs in NYC for conversation.

I do like dance music (trance and tribal house), so I love the big gay clubs for that reason only.

I don't go to gay clubs for sexual reasons. I go for music and socialization.

 

[SpeedoMike]

MasterCard... don't leave home without it!

 

[mephistopheles]

MasterCard... don't leave home without it!

Haha, cash all the way!

 

[deleted3782]

MasterCard... don't leave home without it!

I thought that was Underwear.