good girls vs bad girls

petite

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1) That was easy I could probably get a "better" girl and
Wow, what a horrible person! Already trading up after the first time in bed together? Seriously?

2) If I could get with her that quick then all the guys hotter then ME can do it even quicker and she will leave once that happens.
That's pathetic. I always knew there was self-hatred inherently involved. It has to do with feeling not worthy enough, so obviously the woman is flawed if she chose you to have sex with, so she deserves to be treated with cruelty.

If men really think like this, this seriously lowers my opinion of the opposite gender.
Then there are guys that just like the chase and once that is over their attract will quickly fade away as they want to pursue other girls to get the high of the chase again.
Losing interest in someone is a different story. That's losing the chemistry between you for some reason. That's different than what I was talking about, which are the guys who are into that mean-spirited kind of entrapment where they try as hard as possible to seduce a woman and make her believe he's sincere and nice and serious about her, and then punish her the day after he's fucked her by telling her that she's proven herself to be too fast to be considered relationship material. That's puritanical misogynistic bullshit, and a person who does that is a horrible human being.

Either reasoning is bullshit in the grand scheme of things but boys will be boys.
What? How does that excuse anything? When a man robs someone, do you just shrug your shoulders and say, "Boys will be boys?" Being male doesn't excuse you from morally reprehensible acts.

I've had girls tell me they wait to get intimate with me because they were afraid I would lost intrest with them or I would think they were a slut if we hooked up quickly, it's just a social thing that people have been groomed to think in today's society.

I've done it, too, because men treat women who have sex terribly. Can you blame us for avoiding sex with you? Look at what you've just told me about men. I suddenly feel attracted to my own sex for some reason.
 

borntobeking

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So, I need to know, what do the men prefer here(marry, fuck, kill or um date)? Do they want women that take it slow? Or do they prefer a woman that knows what she wants and goes for it? Where on the spectrum should a woman fall between Prudence to Little Red Corvette?

How about how she behaves in public? Are you for or against PDA?

How do you feel about a Madonna/whore or a Jackie/Marilyn?

Bonus question, how to you perceive an openly asserted size queen

For me I am attracted to all. I am married and I think my wife is a good girl/ bad girl/ slash everything else. In my narrow world view there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman with a healthy sexual apetite and is not afraid to just go for it. Men do it all of the time and labeling a woman for doing that is an unfortunate doule standard. I have never looked negatively at a woman for doing that. In fact it is refreshing to meet a woman like that.

PDA's are GREAT!!!!

Madonna is not a whore. Again she is a woman not afraid of sexual expression. I have no opinion about Jackie or Marilyn.

An openly assertive size queen is just fine with me. Live your life and go for what you want.
 

petite

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You know, I'm revising my opinion. Maybe it's really better that those guys act like that. Any guy who actually goes to the trouble of shaming a woman after having sex with her is doing that woman a favor. He's eliminating himself as a potential future mate, which is good, because according to what DCxMagus says, men who think like that are all kinds of fucked up inside. I just feel sorry for whatever "nice girl" they eventually find, though, so it doesn't really work out for them, does it? That's where it all falls apart. Some woman who doesn't want to be made to feel bad for having sex might end up with one of these losers who have messed up ideas about women and "trading up" and not being worthy enough to fuck and who feels perfectly comfortable treating a woman cruelly, and that's not fair at all... Poor girl. Yep, any way you look at it, men who maintain the double standard are just bad.
 

DCxMagus

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Yep, any way you look at it, men who maintain the double standard are just bad.

Anyone that maintains any type of double standard is bad. I totally with you that none of it is justified and it just plain stupid that people of either gender feel the need to play these games in the first place. But this is all coming from a guy that never "played the game" or tried to "be a player", I just live my life according to my own beat. When I go out, I go out to have fun if there happens to be a female I'm attracted to out to do the same and we click then great, if not I can have plenty of fun with just my friends. The sure fire way to make me lose all attraction is start playing some sociological game of "hard to get" simply to be playing the game.
 

petite

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Anyone that maintains any type of double standard is bad. I totally with you that none of it is justified and it just plain stupid that people of either gender feel the need to play these games in the first place. But this is all coming from a guy that never "played the game" or tried to "be a player", I just live my life according to my own beat. When I go out, I go out to have fun if there happens to be a female I'm attracted to out to do the same and we click then great, if not I can have plenty of fun with just my friends. The sure fire way to make me lose all attraction is start playing some sociological game of "hard to get" simply to be playing the game.

I'm with you about game playing. I hate it and it can ruin passion and romance, in my opinion. One of the things I loved best about TheBF when we began dating, other than his intelligence, good looks, charm, sense of humor, work ethic, manners, friendliness, and all those bumpy muscles all over his body, was how he never pretended that he wasn't interested in me and he didn't shy away when I returned that interest. There was no game playing, no pretended disinterest, just passion. It was wonderful and we made memories I will cherish for the rest of my life.

I also think that women can't be blamed for learning from painful experience that men can be misogynistic bastards, and want to avoid being treated like that ever again. It's only happened to me once, and that was over 15 years ago, and I'm still pissed off! Fucking asshole treated me like crap. He wanted to apply a double standard to me, so I let other women know what he was really like. I think that's fair. He was dishonest and pretending to be a good guy when he truly wasn't. The jerk had "Tom Cruise as a young man" good looks, but boy did he have issues. We were in the same social group for years after that and people kept telling me the latest news and rumors about him, but I never spoke to him again. I take it back, I seem to remember running into him at a coffeeshop when I was with TheBF and he said my name and I said his and then we were done. Looking back now, I'm glad I avoided that train wreck. He was so not worth it. I feel sorry for any women who fall for his pretty face, though.
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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The particular double-standard spoken about in this thread is one of those issues I feel strongly about. I agree with Petite, it takes two to tango and heterosexual males wouldn't be getting laid without us heterosexual females, so why shame a woman for saying yes? If anything, someone saying yes to having sex with you is a privilege. They are sharing their body with you, you should have gratitude whether you're male or female.

As far as casual sex goes, a woman should be able to have sex when she wants, how she wants, if she wants with whomever she wants. A woman has the same needs for physical satisfaction and human connection that men do and she has a right to tend to those needs without judgment. When I was in high school I was as horny as the guys, but double-standards abound. My solution was having a fuck buddy. He went to another school but when we were single we would have sex. To this day we are very good friends and that was over 20 years ago. No loss of respect, no double-standard, just sex and friendship. It ended up being a good thing for me because taking care of that need allowed me to be more relaxed and selective while looking for a mate. Had I allowed my needs to go unattended my relationships might have been chosen strictly according to my loins. This raises another question in my mind. I've heard a lot of men say they want a woman who is an absolute animal behind closed doors...how exactly do you think she gets that way? If you benefit from her experience, why shame her for actually having it? Fuck, this subject gets me fired up, I might consider just leaving this forum... :mad:
 

petite

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Fuck, this subject gets me fired up, I might consider just leaving this forum... :mad:

I know exactly what you mean! I rarely get pissed off here, but this subject really gets me fired up, too. It makes me mad!

There seems to be a secondary lesson here: that doing this to a woman just might make her your enemy for life and "life" is a very long time. I think his reputation became far more damaged than mine did. My reputation appears to have survived intact, but he's well known as an asshole now.
 
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Incocknito

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A good girl who puts out is always nice. Most good girls do put out for me actually.

The bad girls generally don't put out for me and we don't get on because I'm not a bad boy/idiot/typical guy :redface:

Probably the best sex I had was with the woman who (after a few 'strokes') said "I love you". Then she went "oh...uh, I mean...I love the way you fuck me." :tongue:

We were a nice fit and both very horny in general and for each other.

But most of the times I have sex with people right away its like an out of body experience. Like I'm not there. I don't want to have sex with people right away so I'm a little ashamed/conflicted when it happens.

Plus some women you can tell have sex just to have sex and don't care about you, so that's off putting.

I feel differently depending on the girl. Although I am trying really hard not to have sex right away since for some reason I think it starts things off wrong. But as has already been said and I've already experienced, you can still have a good relationship after fucking on the first date.
 
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woman should be as free as men to not only have as much sex as they wish..but to be allowed to talk about it without recrimination....just my 2 cents
 

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The particular double-standard spoken about in this thread is one of those issues I feel strongly about. I agree with Petite, it takes two to tango and heterosexual males wouldn't be getting laid without us heterosexual females, so why shame a woman for saying yes? If anything, someone saying yes to having sex with you is a privilege. They are sharing their body with you, you should have gratitude whether you're male or female.
Agree with u
 

blaquehorse

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There is no need to get mad ladies. It is understandable that you guys feel strongly about this but, that is what this forum is for - to dscuss.
I was always a guy who wanted to to get fresh with a girl asap. Quite a few ladies had no qualms but, there were those who told me i had to wait. To be honest with you guys, i hated waiting but, i always respected their wishes.
Now, i wouldn't say i lost respect for those i had sex with quite early, no, in fact, most of my relationships that lasted started off with us having sex right from the beginning.
Having said that, i would not say that i had more respect or love for those ladies that made me wait.
And this is what i have always said ; if a lady makes a guy wait for let's say 3 months before having sext with him, what stops the guy from leaving her right after having sex with her?
My point here being: Follow your heart, if you feel like fucking a guys on the first date, go for it. If on the other hand you fwant to make him wait, then by all means.
I must also point out here that i do know some guys who think a girl is cheap if she allows a guy to have sex with her without making him wait. Like they say; different strokes...
Some would say, it is a cultural thing but i think it has gotten much wider than that.
My wife was a virgin when we met and she made me wait, but that is not the reason i married her. In fact , we had broken up and started seeing others before we got back together.
We are from a culture where women are not supposed to enjoy sex.
Till today, she says i taught her how to be herself and really enjoy sex. According to her, whenever one of the guys she went out with complimented her on her sexual prowess, she would always tell him that she had a good teacher.
About PDA, i don't really have problems with that unless it is a lady i don't really love. I am not a very tactile lover outside but when i'm with someone i really love, i go full blast; PDA, PS, SIC in fact, SE !
 

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Speaking for myself, I am looking for a fuck rather than a relationship on here. I find it extremely erotic when women know what they want and let you know that upfront, but I also understand that involves a lot of trust. PDA's are fine, not a big deal for me, but I do enjoy quick discrete feels and rubs when possible. Bad girls rock so please feel free to live your life how you are comfortable and not trying to live how someone else might wish you to. I admire self professed size queens for their honesty - very hot to me. And women are so much tougher to read than most guys!
 

B_Bjen2848

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being only a 20 yr old college student, i am def not looking to be tied down anytime soon, i want to have fun for at least 5 or 6 more years:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1: lol

but when it comes to the good/bad girl heres my take

if i have sex with a girl within meeting her in 72 hours, then she is completely written off in my book for any potential relationship other than a fuck buddy

when it comes to relationships, i want a girl who i can trust (by far number 1 most important thing) and if i know this girl will have sex with a dude within like 2 or 3 days of meeting him, in the back of my mind im thinking "when im gone for the weekend for a game or with my buddies or whatever, what is stopping her from just going out and banging some other dude?"

if she has any type of history of cheating on a guy, then she isnt relationship material (1 strike policy) .. i have a lot of check marks that will categorize a girl as a "bad girl" that won't make her relationship material (character, if she parties all the time, who her friends are, how many guys shes had sex with etc) .. and because im so careful on getting into a relationship, i believe thats why i have never truly felt heart break because most of the time, my assumptions are spot on, and for some reason i can foresee someones character flaws while a lot of my friends cannot, and they end up getting played out or looking stupid

just my 2 cents :smile:
 

petite

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being only a 20 yr old college student, i am def not looking to be tied down anytime soon, i want to have fun for at least 5 or 6 more years:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1: lol

but when it comes to the good/bad girl heres my take

if i have sex with a girl within meeting her in 72 hours, then she is completely written off in my book for any potential relationship other than a fuck buddy

when it comes to relationships, i want a girl who i can trust (by far number 1 most important thing) and if i know this girl will have sex with a dude within like 2 or 3 days of meeting him, in the back of my mind im thinking "when im gone for the weekend for a game or with my buddies or whatever, what is stopping her from just going out and banging some other dude?"

if she has any type of history of cheating on a guy, then she isnt relationship material (1 strike policy) .. i have a lot of check marks that will categorize a girl as a "bad girl" that won't make her relationship material (character, if she parties all the time, who her friends are, how many guys shes had sex with etc) .. and because im so careful on getting into a relationship, i believe thats why i have never truly felt heart break because most of the time, my assumptions are spot on, and for some reason i can foresee someones character flaws while a lot of my friends cannot, and they end up getting played out or looking stupid

just my 2 cents :smile:

What the hell does having sex within 2 or 3 days have to do with cheating? That makes no sense at all. Having sex with you soon is unrelated to her future faithfulness. If she was single when she fucked you, then she wasn't cheating on anyone and she did nothing wrong. What would prevent her from fucking someone else if you went away on the weekend would be the fact that she's no longer single. She's with you now. See the difference? In one situation SHE IS SINGLE and in the other one SHE IS TAKEN.

You sound like a... Well, I've already given my opinions earlier in the thread, but I do appreciate you laying it all out here so that the other women here know what kind of man you are. Good luck ever getting one of them to sleep with you.

Do you tell women your 72 hour policy before you sleep with them? Or do you act as interested as possible in them until they sleep with you and then treat them like crap immediately afterwards because they failed your stupid illogical test?
 
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I know exactly what you mean! I rarely get pissed off here, but this subject really gets me fired up, too. It makes me mad!

There seems to be a secondary lesson here: that doing this to a woman just might make her your enemy for life and "life" is a very long time. I think his reputation became far more damaged than mine did. My reputation appears to have survived intact, but he's well known as an asshole now.

I am with you all on this one.. Petite..i so adore your frankness and emotions on this one..

if there's any guy here only remotely interested in what goes on in the minds and hearts of women please read this. we are not some bimbo's..we have feelings too...

When I'm feeling attracted to a man..I can be a bit of a tease... Yes..i enjoy alternating between my sexy, humorous and intelligent side. And when you get a connection on a physical level as well..you just feel you want to engage..Let the hair down and go for it. WHY NOT for crying out loud!!!..but having 2 bad experiences..left me a bit uptight on the matter now.

These type of 'rejections' are very very bad...
Do you know how many women have gushed in tears trying to understand..'what happened' there??...

For me..yes..these fuckers are assholes never to be bothered with again. It is sad that they had to take the route they did..but better walk away fast

I am going to make a pledge..yes from this day forward:

*I hereby pledge that when I am on a first date and when I feel a connection in body,mind and spirit between us and feel good and sexy that day..we will be fucking. And I do not care if its the first day or the last day we will see each other.

I am a young, alive, sexy, honest and loveable woman and I DESERVE to be available for pleasure every fucking single day of my life..untill i die, too old or too sick to enjoy it..
So the fucker that feels that I will not be committed to him, love him for all he is and cherish our bond filled with love, laughter and new experiences sexually and more..can kiss my bloody scrumptious ass :biggrin1:!

I have had it! I'm not waiting anymore, not keeping myself under lock and key out of fear getting hurt by some asshole.. So if you feel i am a whore..than so be it!! And if you want to run for the hills..better take enough supplies,...because there is where you belong!!

So if that means I will stay single for the rest of my life..I will bet you that atleast 3 potential fuck buddies in my life will not be sad about that at all.. I might even get 5 if I'm up for that AND a sugar daddy too :wink:..

:biggrin1:..

Free at last...free at last..

Now..let's see what I am going to plan this weekend...life is good LOL..
 
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petite

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There is no need to get mad ladies. It is understandable that you guys feel strongly about this but, that is what this forum is for - to dscuss.

We all have friends who have been victimized by guys like that, and when confronted with the attitude that treating women like shit and being a hypocritical bastard is somehow socially acceptable to some men, well... It makes a lot of women very angry.

Like I said, I still haven't forgiven the guy who treated me like crap. Stupid jerk forgot how long the average lifespan is, because he's still on my shit list, and it's been over 15 years. How awkward for him every time he ran into me! What a jerk. I enjoyed making him pay.
 

B_Bjen2848

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"What the hell does having sex within 2 or 3 days have to do with cheating? That makes no sense at all. Having sex with you soon is unrelated to her future faithfulness. If she was single when she fucked you, then she wasn't cheating on anyone and she did nothing wrong. What would prevent her from fucking someone else if you went away on the weekend would be the fact that she's no longer single. She's with you now. See the difference? In one situation SHE IS SINGLE and in the other one SHE IS TAKEN."

i thought this statement would be controversial lol, what i meant is, if i have sex with her after just meeting her, then in my mind, she is easy, if she is easy, then it wont be too difficult for some other guy to come in a spit game at her to get in her pants, because if a few hours of small talk led her to my bed, why wouldnt another guys smooth talk lead her to his bed? yes, the hypothetical girl we are talking about is single, BUT, it just shows that someone else could smooth talk her if im away for a period of time (its really just a trust thing, and another comment from someone else pointed out the challenge thing) if she wasnt a challenge for me, who is to say she will be a challenge for someone else? even if she is taken ...

"You sound like a... Well, I've already given my opinions earlier in the thread, but I do appreciate you laying it all out here so that the other women here know what kind of man you are. Good luck ever getting one of them to sleep with you."

lol im guessing you were going to say an asshole :cool:, ive been called that .. A LOT .. and im pretty sure the women who fell under the 72 hour rule with me are the main ones calling me an asshole when they expected me to tie them down or think of them as a serious long term partner, and i dont think that makes me an asshole b/c its pretty much a known thing, if someone sleeps with someone else and is promiscious, why should they think they will change once their facebook status says "in a relationship" (this goes for both men and women, im only speaking about women b/c im a straight male, im sure my feelings would be the same about men if i were gay)

"Do you tell women your 72 hour policy before you sleep with them? Or do you act as interested as possible in them until they sleep with you and then treat them like crap immediately afterwards because they failed your stupid illogical test?"

lmao of course i dont tell a girl that when im trying to talk to them, if i have my eye on a girl and if she is feeling me back, im going to try and say whatever it takes (beside the L word) to try and score, if she makes it past day 3, then i will start thinking "hey you should probably switch your game up b/c she might be a keeper" and i will try and connect with her on a more personal level, deeper then the "are you DTF?" stage .. and i dont treat anybody like crap unless they deserve it, but i am known to have a sharp tongue once i feel they deserve the bad treatment
 

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being only a 20 yr old college student, i am def not looking to be tied down anytime soon, i want to have fun for at least 5 or 6 more years:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1: lol

but when it comes to the good/bad girl heres my take

if i have sex with a girl within meeting her in 72 hours, then she is completely written off in my book for any potential relationship other than a fuck buddy

when it comes to relationships, i want a girl who i can trust (by far number 1 most important thing) and if i know this girl will have sex with a dude within like 2 or 3 days of meeting him, in the back of my mind im thinking "when im gone for the weekend for a game or with my buddies or whatever, what is stopping her from just going out and banging some other dude?"

if she has any type of history of cheating on a guy, then she isnt relationship material (1 strike policy) .. i have a lot of check marks that will categorize a girl as a "bad girl" that won't make her relationship material (character, if she parties all the time, who her friends are, how many guys shes had sex with etc) .. and because im so careful on getting into a relationship, i believe thats why i have never truly felt heart break because most of the time, my assumptions are spot on, and for some reason i can foresee someones character flaws while a lot of my friends cannot, and they end up getting played out or looking stupid

just my 2 cents :smile:

So how faithful are you going to be when you fucked some random girl within 72 hrs and you are now out on the town for a weekend with the guys?...:rolleyes:

Male projections...hmmmm...