good girls vs bad girls

Bravo55

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I am married so most of those options are out.

As for what do I want with/from my wife -- variety. A little good, a little bad, a little of everything.

I believe that people should have sex when they feel the connection is right. Maybe that's the first date ... maybe it happens much later. Seduction, chemistry and consideration should factor in to the decision. Coersion, shame, pressure and selfishness should never be the tactic. In any case, respect is a key ingredient. I have taught my son, now 21, that respect and responsibility are first and foremost.

When relationships are going well it is easy to treat each other well. When relationships are going poorly it is easy to fall prey to bad behavior. In the end, some may say all is fair in love and war but I believe that respect should always prevail.
 

petite

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"What the hell does having sex within 2 or 3 days have to do with cheating? That makes no sense at all. Having sex with you soon is unrelated to her future faithfulness. If she was single when she fucked you, then she wasn't cheating on anyone and she did nothing wrong. What would prevent her from fucking someone else if you went away on the weekend would be the fact that she's no longer single. She's with you now. See the difference? In one situation SHE IS SINGLE and in the other one SHE IS TAKEN."

i thought this statement would be controversial lol, what i meant is, if i have sex with her after just meeting her, then in my mind, she is easy, if she is easy, then it wont be too difficult for some other guy to come in a spit game at her to get in her pants, because if a few hours of small talk led her to my bed, why wouldnt another guys smooth talk lead her to his bed? yes, the hypothetical girl we are talking about is single, BUT, it just shows that someone else could smooth talk her if im away for a period of time (its really just a trust thing, and another comment from someone else pointed out the challenge thing) if she wasnt a challenge for me, who is to say she will be a challenge for someone else? even if she is taken ...
And the fact that she was easy with you means that she's easy with every man? Anyone could "smooth talk" her? How long have you hated yourself? Because that's a pathetic way of thinking about yourself. You shouldn't take out your lack of self-esteem on the women that you fuck. Like I said, if you feel like a woman shouldn't be sleeping with a man in the first 72 hours, then you shouldn't ever fuck a woman within the first 72 hours, because that makes you a hypocritical bastard with double standards.

"You sound like a... Well, I've already given my opinions earlier in the thread, but I do appreciate you laying it all out here so that the other women here know what kind of man you are. Good luck ever getting one of them to sleep with you."

lol im guessing you were going to say an asshole :cool:, ive been called that .. A LOT .. and im pretty sure the women who fell under the 72 hour rule with me are the main ones calling me an asshole when they expected me to tie them down or think of them as a serious long term partner, and i dont think that makes me an asshole b/c its pretty much a known thing, if someone sleeps with someone else and is promiscious, why should they think they will change once their facebook status says "in a relationship" (this goes for both men and women, im only speaking about women b/c im a straight male, im sure my feelings would be the same about men if i were gay)
I assume that no woman can trust you not to fuck another woman if you go away for the weekend, right? Because according to your own logic, you're incapable of being faithful, being the kind of person who behaves in a promiscuous way. Right? But for you the rules are different for women, right? And that makes you a person with double standards, sexist, and a hypocrite.

You said that you wouldn't consider a woman to be relationship material, not that you weren't in a relationship if you fucked her. Don't try to weasel out of the conversation by implying you meant something else. If you fucked her, then you're just as promiscuous as her, yet you judge her far more harshly than you judge yourself and you've decided that she's worthy of shaming and rejecting because she became intimate with you, which you set her up for by attempting to seduce her and "smooth talking" her. And that makes you an asshole!

"Do you tell women your 72 hour policy before you sleep with them? Or do you act as interested as possible in them until they sleep with you and then treat them like crap immediately afterwards because they failed your stupid illogical test?"

lmao of course i dont tell a girl that when im trying to talk to them, if i have my eye on a girl and if she is feeling me back, im going to try and say whatever it takes (beside the L word) to try and score, if she makes it past day 3, then i will start thinking "hey you should probably switch your game up b/c she might be a keeper" and i will try and connect with her on a more personal level, deeper then the "are you DTF?" stage .. and i dont treat anybody like crap unless they deserve it, but i am known to have a sharp tongue once i feel they deserve the bad treatment

You just said that women who sleep with you within 72 hours deserve to be treated like crap. What a fucking asshole!
 

B_Bjen2848

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So how faithful are you going to be when you fucked some random girl within 72 hrs and you are now out on the town for a weekend with the guys?...:rolleyes:

Male projections...hmmmm...


lol, i am very proud to say that i have NEVER cheated on a woman while in a relationship in my life :rolleyes:
 

B_Bjen2848

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"And the fact that she was easy with you means that she's easy with every man?"

no, but there is potential, common lets get real here, if a girl can get smooth talked into bed that quickly, i highly doubt she has very high standards now does she? you really think that type of girl will be faithful to you ...

"Anyone could "smooth talk" her? How long have you hated yourself? Because that's a pathetic way of thinking about yourself. You shouldn't take out your lack of self-esteem on the women that you fuck. Like I said, if you feel like a woman shouldn't be sleeping with a man in the first 72 hours, then you shouldn't ever fuck a woman within the first 72 hours, because that makes you a hypocritical bastard with double standards."

:eek:trust me, i think very highly of myself, what you may call double standards, i call high standards, im sorry if you're upset that i don't jump into a relationship with every 1 night stand or f-buddy i have ever been with .. but that is just not smart .. why should i take myself out the game and tie myself down for a girl i can easily get after putting in a few hours of work? thats not a self esteem issue, thats just smart business


"I assume that no woman can trust you not to fuck another woman if you go away for the weekend, right?"

idk why a woman who knows me personally would think that, i have never had any history of cheating so......

"Because according to your own logic, you're incapable of being faithful, being the kind of person who behaves in a promiscuous way. Right?"

she has every right to write me off as not relationship material to whatever standards she holds, and again i wouldnt worry about that because if she writes me off after sleeping with me in a short period of time, i can guarentee that i have already written her off, so that would actually make things a lot easier for the both of us

"But for you the rules are different for women, right? And that makes you a person with double standards, sexist, and a hypocrite."

lol what? how does that make me a sexist? i guess you completely skipped over the part where i said if i were gay or bi i would have the same feelings toward men as i do now with women .. how does that make me a hypocrite? because im not attracted to men? common now you're being silly ...

"You said that you wouldn't consider a woman to be relationship material, not that you weren't in a relationship if you fucked her."

no, i said that is only 1 of the many check marks in my list of putting a girl in "relationship material" or not, you need to read what i am saying and stop selectively reading what i write ... and i said if i fucked her within 72 hours (a short period of time), not just if we had sex ...

"Don't try to weasel out of the conversation by implying you meant something else."

lol, im not, you just misunderstood or didnt fully read what i wrote ...

"If you fucked her, then you're just as promiscuous as her"

(true)

", yet you judge her far more harshly than you judge yourself"

how am i being harsh? b/c i dont try to wife up every fling that has crossed my path?

"and you've decided that she's worthy of shaming and rejecting because she became intimate with you, which you set her up for by attempting to seduce her and "smooth talking" her. And that makes you an asshole!"

woah when did i say i shame them? why would i shame a girl for giving me pussy? for some reason you equate rejection of a long term relationship to shaming a girl .. im sure you didnt hook up w/ every person who made a pass at you and you rejected them, does that mean you shamed them and that you're an asshole as well? and how did i set her up? by showing interest? common now you're just ranting with blind rage lol


"You just said that women who sleep with you within 72 hours deserve to be treated like crap. What a fucking asshole!"

please tell me when i said that lol, i never said that ma'am, i said i only treat people (key word PEOPLE, not just women) who deserve to be treated like crap ...

sheesh:cool:
 

petite

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Look, if you tell a woman that you aren't interested in her because she had sex with you, then you just shamed her for fucking you. That's punishing her for trusting you enough to have sex with you.

You are such a jerk.
 

petite

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lol, i am very proud to say that i have NEVER cheated on a woman while in a relationship in my life :rolleyes:
Yet a woman who does the same things as you WOULD cheat on you, according to you? How can you not see that's hypocritical thinking? We're literally talking about the exact same behavior.

I have also never cheated on anyone in my entire life, yet I have often had sex on the first date, JUST LIKE YOU HAVE. I don't understand why you don't understand that if you believe that you're capable of fucking on the first date, and being faithful to someone, then so is a woman.
 

petite

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I am with you all on this one.. Petite..i so adore your frankness and emotions on this one..

if there's any guy here only remotely interested in what goes on in the minds and hearts of women please read this. we are not some bimbo's..we have feelings too...

When I'm feeling attracted to a man..I can be a bit of a tease... Yes..i enjoy alternating between my sexy, humorous and intelligent side. And when you get a connection on a physical level as well..you just feel you want to engage..Let the hair down and go for it. WHY NOT for crying out loud!!!..but having 2 bad experiences..left me a bit uptight on the matter now.

These type of 'rejections' are very very bad...
Do you know how many women have gushed in tears trying to understand..'what happened' there??...

For me..yes..these fuckers are assholes never to be bothered with again. It is sad that they had to take the route they did..but better walk away fast

I am going to make a pledge..yes from this day forward:

*I hereby pledge that when I am on a first date and when I feel a connection in body,mind and spirit between us and feel good and sexy that day..we will be fucking. And I do not care if its the first day or the last day we will see each other.

I am a young, alive, sexy, honest and loveable woman and I DESERVE to be available for pleasure every fucking single day of my life..untill i die, too old or too sick to enjoy it..
So the fucker that feels that I will not be committed to him, love him for all he is and cherish our bond filled with love, laughter and new experiences sexually and more..can kiss my bloody scrumptious ass :biggrin1:!

I have had it! I'm not waiting anymore, not keeping myself under lock and key out of fear getting hurt by some asshole.. So if you feel i am a whore..than so be it!! And if you want to run for the hills..better take enough supplies,...because there is where you belong!!

So if that means I will stay single for the rest of my life..I will bet you that atleast 3 potential fuck buddies in my life will not be sad about that at all.. I might even get 5 if I'm up for that AND a sugar daddy too :wink:..

:biggrin1:..

Free at last...free at last..

Now..let's see what I am going to plan this weekend...life is good LOL..

Yes, well it was incredibly painful, as you know, being treated inhumanely like that. I wouldn't still be mad if he hadn't hurt me and making me trust him. I've seen friends hurt, too. It's awful. I didn't deserve to be treated like that. None of us do.

Doesn't it piss you off, though? The idea of sleeping with a guy who thinks like that? Like the 20 year old college student in this thread? The one who says he'll say anything to fuck a woman and then make her sorry for it? It makes me sick to think of sleeping with a guy like that because it's so hateful. It's the reason why I made sure that everyone knew what a misogynistic asshole that guy was. He didn't get much sympathy. Assholes aren't lovable.

Ladies, the best revenge is telling all the women you know what a creep that guy is so that none of them will even glance at him. Men like that don't deserve to get laid, and you can do something about that. There are a lot of other men in the world who aren't morons who are worth fucking. I'm lucky that I only ran across one victimizing jerk.

There was another time that a male friend of mine slept with one of my female friends and he was being much too disrespectful about his boasting over what they had done in bed together, in a way that I felt was "slut shaming" so I pulled him aside and threatened him. I asked him if he had a great time, and he said yes. Then I told him that if he ever wanted to sleep with any of my friends ever again, he better show them respect because if he didn't, he would never fuck another one. That really made him listen. Five years later he told me he never forgot what I had said to him and it completely changed the way he acted. I was 19 years old when I did that. I'm still proud of that.
 
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EmJay

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Yes..its hurtful Petite..and I'm curious about what Subgirrl is going to say on this one LOL..

But..most women that have experienced this..have not been boozing it up in some joint only to hook up with the randomest stranger..
But even if that were the case..

Its not the fact that those meetups turn into relationships..you cant guarantee that a relationship will happen..even past the 24hrs or more thing. But why did the hookup had to do with anything?..why not go on a 'second' date or more to see if there are other connections than just the sexual.

To me its all bullshit..guys that do that..have never really been interested in the girl in the first place and decided the moment they engaged in 'small talk or smooth talk' that they were in it to fuck and split. Have the balls to say THAT!!!

Insecure my ass! haha..

Honestly..I dont know what the magic formula is other than two minds meeting that think about this stuff the same way.. But even than you can't tell if they will not split through the back door never to be heard of.. Because a lot of guys simply lie and say whatever to create a sense of connection--

Its a roulettegame I guess..
 

sizequeenNY

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Here's the thing, I'm in NY, it's a fast city. I take it slow enough for someone in a place that moves faster than the speed of light. If I meet someone, have a few nice discussions with him, am attracted to him, I have no issue having sex with him sooner rather than later. I know what I want and when I see it, I take it because if I don't, someone else is going to. It's like finding the last pair of D'Orsay pumps on clearance in your size, if you don't grab it someone else will. Still, I don't sleep around, I date and it does not mean that every guy I go out with ends up my dress

I'm not into PDAs, maybe some small kiss or my hand on his arm because I'm private and I don't think I need to validate whatever situation I have to the public. I dress well, not slutty. I'm well spoken and when I am out of the bedroom, I want my intelligence not my sexuality to have the floor.

It's hard being a size queen. Men assume your number is high even though mine isn't. I prefer large cock just like men like breasts. I know the issues that come up sometimes for men, their insecurities about being so large, and I am only supportive. It seems like my sympathy is being mistaken for something else not sure what

I went out with someone last week, he seemed nice, we had sex. I did not hear from him for five days so I forgot about him. Then he sends a msg saying he wasn't comfortable "carrying on this sort of thing." We chatted about it and chatted last night again. He first said he wanted to think about the situation over the weekend, then a few days ago said he thought we had chemistry and wanted me to be happy, then he tells me that we had sex too fast and he usually waits a few dates. He made me feel terrible, I feel used. I don't understand why he pushed me to have sex with him to after be so mean. Then after I told him I don't want to talk to him anymore, he msgs me a while later asking me about work I am doing. Is he crazy? I told him he does not deserve to know me :frown1:
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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I don't know if there's anything left for me to say, as you've said it all Petite. Honestly, the double-standard is alive and at work in this thread, it's unbelievable. Where the hell are the real men like RawDog, Riven650, Hilaire and Calboner? We need adult male education in here!
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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Here's the thing, I'm in NY, it's a fast city. I take it slow enough for someone in a place that moves faster than the speed of light. If I meet someone, have a few nice discussions with him, am attracted to him, I have no issue having sex with him sooner rather than later. I know what I want and when I see it, I take it because if I don't, someone else is going to. It's like finding the last pair of D'Orsay pumps on clearance in your size, if you don't grab it someone else will. Still, I don't sleep around, I date and it does not mean that every guy I go out with ends up my dress

I'm not into PDAs, maybe some small kiss or my hand on his arm because I'm private and I don't think I need to validate whatever situation I have to the public. I dress well, not slutty. I'm well spoken and when I am out of the bedroom, I want my intelligence not my sexuality to have the floor.

It's hard being a size queen. Men assume your number is high even though mine isn't. I prefer large cock just like men like breasts. I know the issues that come up sometimes for men, their insecurities about being so large, and I am only supportive. It seems like my sympathy is being mistaken for something else not sure what

I went out with someone last week, he seemed nice, we had sex. I did not hear from him for five days so I forgot about him. Then he sends a msg saying he wasn't comfortable "carrying on this sort of thing." We chatted about it and chatted last night again. He first said he wanted to think about the situation over the weekend, then a few days ago said he thought we had chemistry and wanted me to be happy, then he tells me that we had sex too fast and he usually waits a few dates. He made me feel terrible, I feel used. I don't understand why he pushed me to have sex with him to after be so mean. Then after I told him I don't want to talk to him anymore, he msgs me a while later asking me about work I am doing. Is he crazy? I told him he does not deserve to know me :frown1:

That guy is truly a dud. He feels guilt so he projects it onto you...then wants to remain in contact? I'm glad you cut him off. You're right, he doesn't deserve to know you. He shamed you for an act you participated in together...he needs to get a clue! :mad:
 

EmJay

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SQ's story makes me sad...brings me back exactly to an old situation..the dumb asses..

sigh...
 

Bravo55

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Men who behave like this, without respect and consideration, are unworthy of women's attention in general. I suspect many of them become quite lonely, deservedly so.

I have no pity for any retribution they get. Maybe the women they offend should ask some trusted male friend to read them the riot act.
 

Boondocksaints

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Nothing wrong with sex on a first date. I've had relationships from sex on a first date. Also nothing wrong with a girl who has had a lot of partners. I would prefer a girl have some sexual experience because usually the sex is better. That is not what a "good girl" or "bad girl" is about. People in the US are too uptight about sex.

The only thing that would bother me is if they have cheated on their previous partners. That just means they are a selfish person in general, they could just as easily do it to you and most people don't change. Once a cheater, always a cheater (don't care how drunk or how badly partner treated them, they still cheated)
 

Bravo55

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I know it may sound a little old fashioned or cliche but I think a little chivalry is a good thing. Unless the situation demands no other response, I won't defend a women unless it is ok with her. I wouldn't want that woman to think I think she can't take care of herself or that she needs some sort of hero intervention. But, if asked, I would have no trouble making sure the guy in question would regret his behavior.
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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Nothing wrong with sex on a first date. I've had relationships from sex on a first date. Also nothing wrong with a girl who has had a lot of partners. I would prefer a girl have some sexual experience because usually the sex is better. That is not what a "good girl" or "bad girl" is about. People in the US are too uptight about sex.

The only thing that would bother me is if they have cheated on their previous partners. That just means they are a selfish person in general, they could just as easily do it to you and most people don't change. Once a cheater, always a cheater (don't care how drunk or how badly partner treated them, they still cheated)

Thank you for saying this. A woman can not be a virginal hellcat between the sheets...it does not exist. I had more partners than my husband when we met. We both benefit from my experiences and he never once thought less of me...and we fucked on the 2nd date. Fifteen years later we're still together, 100% faithful and raising our son to be a respectful and self-reliant man. No double-standards will be taught in our house. I guess that blows the "easy" theory out of the water, eh?
 

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Anyone that maintains any type of double standard is bad. I totally with you that none of it is justified and it just plain stupid that people of either gender feel the need to play these games in the first place. But this is all coming from a guy that never "played the game" or tried to "be a player", I just live my life according to my own beat. When I go out, I go out to have fun if there happens to be a female I'm attracted to out to do the same and we click then great, if not I can have plenty of fun with just my friends. The sure fire way to make me lose all attraction is start playing some sociological game of "hard to get" simply to be playing the game.

Couldn't agree with you more.
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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I know it may sound a little old fashioned or cliche but I think a little chivalry is a good thing. Unless the situation demands no other response, I won't defend a women unless it is ok with her. I wouldn't want that woman to think I think she can't take care of herself or that she needs some sort of hero intervention. But, if asked, I would have no trouble making sure the guy in question would regret his behavior.

Some women like chivalry, some don't. I myself have no problem with it and take no offense to it. To me chivalry is helpful, not condescending, so once it becomes condescending it's crosses right over into chauvanism. In situations like the one you described it takes only 1 question to figure out if the woman in question needs help:

"Is this guy bothering you?"

You will get an answer within seconds that will let you know whether she needs help or not.