Here's the thing, I'm in NY, it's a fast city. I take it slow enough for someone in a place that moves faster than the speed of light. If I meet someone, have a few nice discussions with him, am attracted to him, I have no issue having sex with him sooner rather than later. I know what I want and when I see it, I take it because if I don't, someone else is going to. It's like finding the last pair of D'Orsay pumps on clearance in your size, if you don't grab it someone else will. Still, I don't sleep around, I date and it does not mean that every guy I go out with ends up my dress
I'm not into PDAs, maybe some small kiss or my hand on his arm because I'm private and I don't think I need to validate whatever situation I have to the public. I dress well, not slutty. I'm well spoken and when I am out of the bedroom, I want my intelligence not my sexuality to have the floor.
It's hard being a size queen. Men assume your number is high even though mine isn't. I prefer large cock just like men like breasts. I know the issues that come up sometimes for men, their insecurities about being so large, and I am only supportive. It seems like my sympathy is being mistaken for something else not sure what
I went out with someone last week, he seemed nice, we had sex. I did not hear from him for five days so I forgot about him. Then he sends a msg saying he wasn't comfortable "carrying on this sort of thing." We chatted about it and chatted last night again. He first said he wanted to think about the situation over the weekend, then a few days ago said he thought we had chemistry and wanted me to be happy, then he tells me that we had sex too fast and he usually waits a few dates. He made me feel terrible, I feel used. I don't understand why he pushed me to have sex with him to after be so mean. Then after I told him I don't want to talk to him anymore, he msgs me a while later asking me about work I am doing. Is he crazy? I told him he does not deserve to know me :frown1:
As far as living in NY, I used to feel the same way as far as "fast paced." But in a city with so many people, I don't think everyone feels that way. I don't know your age but if you are under 25 than that probably explains the short time before having sex.
When it comes to me and what I want in a woman, it is slightly complicated by the fact that I've never been with anyone. This totally eliminates the one night stand option at this point in my life. I've ran into more than my fair share of girls that pretend to be nice and then talk badly about me behind my back, so I'd probably be a little wary about letting her know about my lack of sexual history (I feel it important to tell her ahead of time as to not surprise her with being a 2 pump chump.) Any girl I've talked to at a bar or whatever, has been a friend of a friend kinda deal, and I don't think I'd be able to hang out with a group that knows I'm still a virgin.
Last weekend I was at this private party that a friends co-worker was throwing and this one girl seemed into me, but I had never met her before and it was after a few hours so she seemed to be at least a little tipsy. We talked for a little bit (just barely though, I hate all these places that blast the music - wtf, how am I supposed to communicate? Through interpretive dance??) If I see her again we'll talk some more and then I'll decide whether or not to ask for her number. But I'm the type of guy that does not want to risk getting involved with a drunk/psycho/any other problem you can think of. I need to know that she's got her head on straight before I even ask for her number. That may seem slow for some but OK, than that's not the person for me. I can't be the only one in the world with this opinion and some young women out there would agree with me. I might find her, I might not. As far the one I met last weekend, if I wind up talking to her when we are both totally sober, and she didn't give the impression of being a floozy but wanted to jump into things right away, I'd be fine with that. I'd just warn her that the first few times aren't gonna be specular.
Communication is key. If she is strictly
not interested in a relationship than I'd like to know that early on, before I start thinking it could be turning into something serious. If she just wants someone to date and have sex with without the emotional attachment, I'd agree only if she we were exclusive. If I'm gonna be having sex with her, exclusive is the other key word.
PDAs are ok on a small scale. If you need to be shoving your tongue down my throat to show off to people, that's not okay. It's weird to do and it's weird for the people watching. A small sign to make it clear to other guys that we are together - that's acceptable.
No problem with the Madonna/Marilyn type, as long as it isn't in the pathetic, insecure way. Some women have that aspect to them and they can embrace it. As long as they don't carried away with it, like becoming arrogant or a slut. Actually, having that sex icon aspect and being mature about it is a
major turn on.
The size queen thing I'm not sure about in the sense of to what extent. If she demands well endowed men and will get rid of a guy if he is not above average, than my efforts will go elsewhere. But if you're just saying that a larger penis is more sexually satisfying and you are not ashamed of that, than there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You can't control the amount of space that your vagina can hold. And if a snug fit gives you more stimulation than thats just a biological thing, it's what makes you
you I'd even be willing to watch or help with using a large dildo, as I'd want my partner to be as sexually satisfied as possible - I believe that once a man take his clothes off, it's his
job to please.
So really, to sum up my preference: I need a good conversation or two, and I need to know that we have sexual exclusiveness. If she just wants sex than that confession will have to come relatively early. I feel that I'm open and respectful enough in the first place for this to be said before it gets to the point where I feel that I've been misled.
And that guy you've been upset about - it seems like he simply doesn't know what he wants. He's already changed his mind about you 3 times, that sorta thing would only continue if you let it. If he prefers to go on a few dates before sex, than it's HIS fault that he threw out his morals on an impulse. (But hey, you should feel good that you were that irresistible!) Now his view of you will forever be skewed, and ironically it's because he couldn't be true to himself. And I think I can safely say that that's not a guy who you want to be with.
