good ideas on realtionships?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by wowBig, Apr 11, 2008.

  1. wowBig

    wowBig New Member

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    Well I'm purposing to my girlfriend Tuesday.
    she already wants to get married just doesn't know when I'm purposing to her.
    were both 18 so the actual marriage isn't for a couple years ...like 3? or 4

    but right now we have some promises that we are keeping to each other.

    one is being together forever.

    has anyone really ment a promise like that?
    I know she means it.

    a lot.

    but I'm just wondering
     
  2. marleyisalegend

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    i wish you guys the best but i don't need to post statistics to tell you the rate of failure for marriages that start as young as yours. for now enjoy your youth and being together, in the next few years you both are becoming adults and growing and learning a lot from yourselves, so take your time and don't rush into things like marriage when you may not even have a good grip on who you are individually. seeing as how the divorce rate is sky-high, i'd wait til you're a little older and have a better understanding of what's going on around you before you much such a big decision. congrats though on your success thus far, puppy love is still love

    as far as relationships, here are a few tips that i've learned personally, if you can get to a bookstore or library there are TONS of books about building relationships

    A) COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE. you have to talk in order to have a good understanding of where you guys are
    B) time/space. don't get too clingy or the relationship may start to feel stale, especially since you're both so young
    C) don't assume that she'll tell you. women especially are the queens of saying "nothing's wrong" when something really is. learn her mannerisms (for example does she roll her eyes when she's mad at you) there's no such thing as too many questions, knowing is better than not knowing
    D)this may not be true in your case but most girls don't like being compared to other girls. they already know you look at other women, that's natural, but don't even do that in front of her, it's disrespectful
    E) be clear about what you expect from the relationship (kids one day, monogomy, these kind of things shouldn't be assumed)

    i dunno, i'm only 22 so i dunno too much about relationships but i hope this helps
     
  3. Principessa

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    • 18 is way too young to be making that kind of commitment. :rolleyes: :duh:
    • It's proposing not purposing, until you can spell it correctly you probably shouldn't do it.:tongue:
    • This site is a den of carnal iniquity. I doubt you will get much support for remaining monogamous and pledging to love one another exclusively till death do you part. :redface:
    That said, I wish you luck.
     
  4. AlteredEgo

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    I hope your proposal goes well. There's nothing wrong with a nice, long engagement. Yes, some people really do mean those promises. Do you?
     
  5. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

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    Forever is a relative term no matter how you slice it. In humans there's no such thing as forever because everything comes to a natural end. Some would argue that a natural end means that the emotions that drove the decision have also ended.

    Being forever together is not impossible, but loving each other forever is. The sooner you realize you're not going to be in love 24/7 the sooner you realize you're human. I think that's one of the reasons they made marriage a legal arrangement that takes some doing to undo. During that time that we're not in love with each other we need something to maintain that relationship. A law ought to do it. Then if things go the right way you'll fall back in love and you continue on your merry way.

    But sometimes there's no falling again either because it's not there anymore or one doesn't want to put forth the effort. Both are sad situations, but sometimes for the best.

    You can make a promise to be together forever, but first you must realize that it will not always feel like it does right now. It will change, grow and flounder, so your commitment should be to promise to maintain the relationship.

    Good look with your proposal. These next few years together will allow you to get a little more insight as to how it will be later on.
     
  6. sexplease

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    Follow your heart. Always. You'll learn.
    Read. You'll be successful

    and remember, when she get preggers, you'll be responsible for it.

    FOR THE NEXT EIGHTEEN YEARS!!!!!!

    good luck.

    The Tom Leykis Show - BlowMeUpTom.com
     
  7. chesz001

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    well,im in your situation..you're quite young but there's always room for growth(if you give it a chance).at first it was really really hard as i was used of being/acting like a single..like she needs to know where youre goin,where you at..etc the things which i dont do before..there are times that you had an argument it gets worst and you feel like you want to give up..im telling you its hard at first,you need to know each other,likes/dislikes,her personality..etc..communication is a must in a relationship and one of you should have the highest level of understanding and give/take relationship..we're live-in partner btw...at first i find it cool but when i was in that situaton i almost give up...but at end of the day LOVE really is the reason why until now we still love each other and why until now she's still my partner...

    think twice or many times before you enter a relationship...
     
  8. Love-it

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    We've been married over 32 years, she was 27 and I was 26. I can't imagine getting married at 18 or 19 or even 20,21 or 22. I have met a lot of people who married young where it didn't work out; for a few it has.

    25 seems like a good age, if you are mature enough to get married and if you are with the right person.
     
  9. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Congratulations.

    You are very young for that kind of commitment but it if you are both that committed to each other there is no reason it cant work, regardless of your age. And while i would love to say i have been in that situation i have never felt strongly enough to want to marry anyone yet nor make a long term promise
     
  10. No_Strings

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    Making such a commitment can be very scary. When I made a similar one, I thought long and hard about it - I deliberately tried to second guess myself, confront my doubts and why. I was glad I did afterwards, as it further cemented my belief that I was doing the right thing. :smile:


    What the fuck are you talking about? More judgmental bullshit.
     
  11. Lex

    Lex
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    Good luck with your proposal and your relationship. I am always happy to know that two people have found each other and are committed to one another.

    Growing up and old together can truly be a joy like no other. There are sure to be rough roads ahead (As there always are). Just keep your focus on each other and all can be overcome.

    I know more than a few couples that married young and remained so for 20, 30, 40 years or more.
     
  12. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    I got married at 24. Still you although I knew I was ready, and my partner is older.

    My problem when I was younger, was I was still figuring out who I was.

    Once I figured that out, then it came to realizing, that I did not have to settle for just anyone, lucky for me, after realizing that I actually did find the love of my life.

    We are now coming up on being together 6 years, and being married 4. Life is wonderful, and I can only be thankful.
     
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