Good sex and the desire for commitment.

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Drifterwood, Jan 22, 2008.

  1. Drifterwood

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    How much more likely are you to want a commited relationship with someone with whom sex turns out to be good/great?

    Have you or would you ever wish to develop a relationship in which the sex was just so so or worse?
     
  2. goodwood

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    Good/great sex is a pre-requisite for anyone with whom I would consider a having a long term relationship. I have said in some other post somewhere that I have broken up with women because they were just really bad at sex. I mean how can women be bad at sex? I don't know, but they were and I am not with them.
     
  3. maestro071

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    Very much !
     
  4. Ethyl

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    Sex is very important to me so that was always a consideration in relationships.
    No.
     
  5. Whopper-lee

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    :smile:Damn...good/great sex has always been my personal choice...guess that's how I got 14 brats...perhaps I should scale down to just so so... :biggrin1:
     
  6. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    I married my second husband thinking, the sex and his insecurities would get better with help. Alas that was not coming to fruition, and his lazyness and unwillingness, to try anything in bed,really helped to stunt the relationship.
    I ended up having to put him out, because he just didn't want to
    let me be who I am, a strong woman,who doesm't want a needy man.
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  7. Ragin'4 fun

    Ragin'4 fun New Member

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    I must say we've always had good sex but over the years it has turned out to get way better than I could have ever imagined!

    Like we change as people over time our sex can change too. I suppose you just have to hope it changes for the better.
     
  8. D_Fiona_Farvel

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    Taking away other factors such as maturity and sanity -- sex and intimacy are one of the most important areas in a relationship. If the sex is good, I'll try to make something work. If the sex is "eh", or worse, infrequent, I will not try to create a serious commitment.

    Certainly nothing long term with bad, so so, boring, dispassionate, or infrequent sex. At some point, I'd cheat just for a thrill. No reason to put myself in that place if I already know the inevitable outcome.
     
  9. whatireallywant

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    Sexual compatiblility is very important. So, no I wouldn't want a long term relationship with someone who was incompatible. Although my one long term relationship was sort of that way. When we were able to have sex, it was very good though, unfortunately, he has medical problems that sometimes get in the way. I will allow for medical problems, but I won't allow for just selfish, inconsiderate lovers.

    But the personality has to be there too for a long term relationship. If there is good sex but the personality isn't there, he can be fun for a short term fling but I wouldn't want to get into anything more serious.
     
  10. Principessa

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  11. honeydew

    honeydew New Member

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    I am in the same boat as one of you stated. My Husband has some medical issues that interfere with sexual function. We have a great relationship and are very close. It hurts him because he knows sometimes all I want is a good screwing and he is not able to give me that.. most of the time we get along making love in other ways though. So ,yes sex is important but my first husband was an ass so haveing a good relationship is very important to me as well.
     
  12. brislands

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    Damn I love the way you say the way it is. I have an ex (my 1st)who we shared unbelievable mind shattering sex, but hey she decided to take the guy with a fatter wallet over me. Now guess who's always calling me up telling me she misses me, she misses what we shared, then she tells me how he can't even come close to doing what I did to her. Oh ya and btw he an asshole to her aswell
     
  13. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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    Depends if they were willing to learn. Anyone can be good in bed if they just listen to their partner and their needs. if he is a selfish lover then i think long term id grow to resent that
     
  14. SereneBlue

    SereneBlue New Member

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    No.
     
  15. Gillette

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    I view sex as a form of physical expression. If they have nothing to express why should I be there? If what is being expressed is selfish desire then there is nothing to pursue in a relationship with them.

    I do wish to note that there is a significant difference between bad and inexperienced.
     
  16. Captain Elephant

    Captain Elephant Active Member

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    I had a partner once who was so damn creative in bed it was always an adventure. Yes, it was mind-blowing; yes, it ranked among the very best sex I've ever had. But she was downright crazy. I mean out and out lunatic. There's no way I could have continued a relationship with her, so in a nutshell, sex is not the only reason I would keep a relationship going. Sorry, I'm not that shallow.

    Of course, I say that because I currently enjoy a very healthy sex life that is ultra satisfying.

    So, to those who you who rate great sex as a prerequisite for a relationship, should that sex go bad, or disappear by accident or natural causes, would you end the relationship, even if it were a long-term one?
     
  17. D_Fiona_Farvel

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    If the relationship still felt good and worked, but sex was bad or non existent what would I do? I would not end the relationship, however I would seek sex elsewhere. Personally, I would never be able end the sexual part of my life because my partner/spouse could not or would not engage in sex.

    I wouldn't hide it, though. As my life partner they have a right to know if I decide to bang others, and he could choose to stay or leave.
     
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