Good technique?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Harry Vederci, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. D_Harry Vederci

    D_Harry Vederci <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Alright, so obviously I'm new here and not exactly of the femenine persuasion; however I think this question is particularly suited to this section as it is secifically geared towards women.
    I found this site doing a search for oral sex techniques and read an interesting thread here. I do understand that each woman prefers a slightly different style of oral sex, much as each man prefers a slightly different style of oral sex. For example, if anything touches within about a 3 inch radius of my sphincter I instantly lose my erection and can't get it back for at least a few hours. So, after a fairly considerable amount of practice and experimentation I THINK I have found a technique that is satisfactory for most (of course not all, but pretty darn close so far) women. I will explain.
    It's somewhat cliche but (aside from in a select few situations) very true that anticipation hightens the pleasurable sensation. Having said that, taking your time is almost always essential. Often kissing is the best way to start, although occasionally it's very desirable to demonstrate your desire and passion by taking a faster and slightly (not too much) rougher approach. Plenty of hands-on exploration is great, but don't focus too much on any one area. The ultimate goal is of course the vagina, but where that is the ultimate goal it should usually NOT be the initial destination. Rub the back with slow, gentle circular motions, caress the cheek lightly, perhaps brush the backside with your hand just slightly. Of course this continues slowly building in intensity until the woman's breathing becomes a little heavy (and although this is somewhat embarrassing to say often the smell is a good indicator that the woman is sufficiently turned on) and small moans can be heard. Occasionally the woman will enjoy putting on a show by taking her clothes off for the man, but usually the woman prefers the man to undress her slowly and gently, one step at a time. There is a bit more to this of course, but in the interest of time we'll pass to the second phase.
    At this point, regardless of whether the woman is standing, sitting, lying down, in the hot-tub or what have you, she should be undressed or mostly undressed. Begin to explore her body with your mouth as well as your hands. Kiss her neck, kiss her chest, kiss her breasts, thighs, midsection. Vary the sensations by alternating small, light kisses with deep passionate kisses, light flicks of the tongue, long licks, slight nibbles (careful, don't overdo it), and gentle sucking. Follow her guidance; eventually she will guide you farther down while you continue to explore her body. Starting a little bit closer in than the knees I usually begin to kiss (still alternating) while slowly moving inward towards the vagina. Don't just stick to one thigh, be sure to have some fun with the other one as well. Once you're relatively close in, gently lick the groin tendons between the thigh and the outer labia. I've noticed that, after sufficient foreplay, this tends to have a particularly good response. Spend a little bit of time on the outside, playing with the outer labia with gentle licking and soft kissing. Perhaps a little bit of nibbling would also be good, but again be sure to pay attention to her responses. Not all women enjoy nibbling. After that gently separate the outer labia. Starting at the bottom, slowly and gently explore your way upwards. Avoid the clittoris at first. Vary the style between soft and slow, firm and slow, flicking, and even the feel of the warm breath from your mouth can even have good effects if the woman is sufficiently aroused (which she definitely should be if you've managed to progress to this point). While you're doing this, continue to massage gently with your hands arount the thighs, backside, and lower stomach. It is generally a good idea to slowly lick in small circles around the outside of the clittoris. Again, vary speed and pressure to keep the sensation interesting. Too much of one specific style will get monotonous and can have undesired effects. Usually I rather enjoy performing oral sex and having the woman finish too soon can be a detriment. Similarly, if a woman is not being stimulated and finds the sensations to be too monotonous she can lose interest. Occasionally pay a bit of attention to the clittoris itself, with a soft slow licking, firm long stroke of the tongue, or gentle sucking motion. Too much of this can cause sensation overload in a large percentage of the female population, although there are some who like nothing better. The clittoris is immensely sensitive when the woman is aroused, so be careful. As a general rule of thumb slow stretching, rubbing, soft moans and flexing of the thigh muscles are good signs. Any quick, jerky motions or sharp loud sounds at this particular stage means you've carried things a bit too far too fast. Usually the female will enjoy herself much more if you take your time to build up to an orgasm rather than try to get it in in under 15 minutes. Some women enjoy having a finger or two inserted during this time (make sure they are wet, even if she seems to be extremely wet herself just to avoid any unpleasant sensations), but again pay attention to her responses to see if she's enjoying it or not.
    From this point on, just continue to keep things varied. Change speed, change direction, change pressure. Don't just focus on the area around the clittoris either, occasionally venture down further and back up. One of the most important parts is to KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING. As the woman comes closer to climax, it is often a natural response for the man to become eager and begin to perform faster or perform the motions with a bit more pressure. Doing this can often cause the woman to lose the orgasm. What you've been doing has brought her this far; don't fix what's not broken. Some women cannot achieve an orgasm without a finger (or of course a penis) inserted into the vaginal cannal. In some cases where this is true, continuing your performance without inserting a satisfactory object into the vaginal cannal can be an extremely bad idea. The sensation builds and builds until she simply can't take it any longer but she never achieves an orgasm. I've only known a few women who experienced this, but it does happen so be aware of it.
    Again, be sure to pay attention to her responses to different motions, pressures and speeds. Perform the actions she reacts best to with the most frequency, but do not focus on them completely. Variation in the sensation will add a whole new dimention to the experience. After the encounter, if the woman is comfortable with it (some are not), discuss what she enjoyed and what, if anything, was detrimental. Be sure to listen to feedback and try to apply it in the future. Usually with different women I will return to this basic outline initially and adapt to her feedback after. This outline seems to have a pretty darn good response with most women.

    Ok, so now that that's over I'd like some feedback. Does this sound like a good general rule of thumb? Any errors you've noticed or things you can see that would benefit from change? As I said this is an outline and is meant to be adapted to individual women based on their preferences, but I would like some feedback on this particular technique.

    Thank you for your time!
     
  2. HazelGod

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    I didn't read that long-ass, unbroken ramble...but I can tell you two things:

    First, with all those words...you're over-thinking it. Sex isn't paint-by-numbers, and women aren't interchangeable. What one likes, another might hate. Some might love soft and sensual caresses, while others may get off on teeth and nails and being smacked. Hell, what one likes one day she might not like the next. Which segues into...

    You need to learn to improvise by reading your partners signals and responding to her cues. Sometimes this means letting her guide you...sometimes this means delaying or denying her what she craves until you're ready to give it. In any case, sex is organic...you don't follow a flowchart.
     
  3. D_Harry Vederci

    D_Harry Vederci <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    It's obvious that you didn't read it, lol. In this description I specifically point in many places to the fact that one must pay attention to the signals of your partner and adapt accordingly.
    Perhaps even you might find something interesting in ths "long-ass unbroken ramble." I believe it is unwise to judge something before you even read it to see what's inside. Just me though. Whatever works for you...
     
  4. Mothersheep

    Mothersheep New Member

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    I'm actually Scooter1685's wife, lol. I wanted to see what it was he was doing on this site.
    Anyhow, after reading through the posts, I have to admit that it sounds like a pretty good technique to me. I certainly enjoy it, and would perhaps enjoy it more if it happened a little bit more frequently, lol. Hopefully that's why he's looking for feedback.
    As far as HazelGod's post, I would both agree and disagree. The speed of progression from make-out to sex is something that is, or should be, instictual and reflexive. However, techniques are something that should be learned and tested. It's far more desirable to be with a guy that listens to feedback and changes what he does in response to it rather than a guy that automatically assumes he knows what a woman "really wants."
     
  5. D_Harry Vederci

    D_Harry Vederci <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Lol, checking up on me? Well it's good to know your opinion. The reason I posted on here is pretty simple though. It's all well and good to hear you say that you like it, but sometimes I worry that you're just saying you like it because you want me to feel good. I'm sure everone wonders about that once in a while. The other women I see on occasion haven't complained either, but it's good to get some outside opinions. And also, if someone has a little feedback that might include a new technique that would be interesting to try and perhaps incorporate, so much the better. I do realize that it's a long post, but as I said taking your time in these areas can have fantastic rewards.
     
  6. B_Dustydo

    B_Dustydo New Member

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    I didn't read the post either because I like paragraphs.

    HazelGod sounds like he has half a clue though.
     
  7. D_Harry Vederci

    D_Harry Vederci <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Hm... Well on my laptop it shows up as 5 distinct paragraphs... But I suppose that might be due to screen resolution or something of the sort.
    Would it be a better format for me to list certain points that appear as important to remember rather than a detailed description? I'm sure it would make for a shorter post and perhaps even on differing screen resolutions it might present a more organized view.
     
  8. D_Harry Vederci

    D_Harry Vederci <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    At the moment I'm running short on time. I have a meeting this evening that promises to run a little late. I'll see what I can do tomorrow in the way of coming up with a list of key points rather than a detailed description, although it seems that many of the finer points will then be left out.

    In the meantime, i do very much appreciate you all taking the time to look at my posting. I would request, however, that you refrain from statements that contain "I didn't read the post but..." The reason for this is that it does not pertain to the question I asked and so is unhelpful to me and also an unproductive use of your own time as well.

    Again, thank you very much for taking the time to look at my posting. If you've read it and have some feedback for me, even if it's "Sounds good" or "Maybe try adding this...." I would appreciate it. Otherwise I'll see what I can do about compiling a core list tomorrow.
     
  9. dolfette

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    no way am i reading all that.
     
  10. Symphonic

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    I read it. You're a little behind. We knew that stuff years ago.
     
  11. dolfette

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    i missed nothing? cool.
     
  12. Patchos

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    It's a 2000 word essay that amounts to 'eat her cunt like it's a delicious meal'. However much time you spent writing this stuff up, you should have been down in between your wifes legs instead.
     
  13. dolfette

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    well i'm glad i didn't bother.
    i can better spend that time on snark :smile:
     
  14. D_Harry Vederci

    D_Harry Vederci <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Lol, yes well. Perhaps a different demographic might have more constructive feedback. I'm afraid that crude jest and a dearth of creativity weren't quite what I had been hoping for...
    I certainly wish all of you the best and brightest of blessings.
     
  15. trackdude

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  16. HazelGod

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    Yeah, I left the other half in some chick's panties...
     
  17. B_Dustydo

    B_Dustydo New Member

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    My extreme condolences to the chick for being subjected to the discomfort of having half your brain left in her knickers.
    Please clean up your "mess" when you leave.
     
  18. HazelGod

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    Hey, she didn't complain... :wink:
     
  19. silvergirl

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    hey i think that sounds amazing... a lot of guys arent willing to put in much effort (i mean shit i get that tho... they just wanna get their cock wet...) but teasing is an extremely good idea to build up desire to extreme ;)
     
  20. stallone22cm

    stallone22cm New Member

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    silvergirl you are right...you are women which know about desire.....
     
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