Goodbye from Tonnie
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molotovmuffin
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HellsKitchenmanNYC
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I'd like to know too as my feelings on this topic have run from a-z esp w/the pm's and emails I've recieved about Tonnie!
molotovmuffin
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nudeyorker
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I wish you had not edited your post because you actually supplied some facts that this has been the biggest scam since New Coke. Anyway you had your reasons I'm sure.
I have been on the fence with this issue the whole weekend and have been experiencing emotions from sadness to anger. Supplied with the information we have (and what you edited) I am so angry that someone would fabricate such a hoax because I keep thinking about all my friends and family who battled cancer and lost the fight.
I hope he gets some psychiatric care.
Hi Nudeyorker,
I will repost what I wrote, if need be. For the time being, I do not know what to think. Something doesn't sound totally right, especially with Mattie visitor's message to me. I am very troubled over this, as I've been crying for weeks over Tonnie.
But I still believe it my heart it is all true, considering my three-week correspondence with him.
At any rate, I'm not sure why Tonnie told me he was still running 3-4 miles/day (last weekend, I believe) with advanced lung cancer, although he always coughed up blood "gunk", but perhaps he just wanted me to think he was doing well, even though he was not even running. I really don't know. Not all the details have to be true for everything to be true.
And I still do not know why Mattie wrote a visitor message to me yesterday very much in the same way Tonnie did in his emails to me (same apostrophe in "photo's" and his capitalization of "HOT", just like Tonnie did). I know Tonnie spoke New Zealand English like his roomate Mattie, but it seemed bizarre to me that he wrote both of these like Tonnie. Perhaps it's nothing at all (there were also things in Tonnie's 13 emails to me that were just like Mattie's "workmate" message above, but I could just be imagining things like if Mattie was also Danish???).
As much as I liked Tonnie, I did not know him well. He seemed like a most adorable and gentle soul in our exchanges, however. I have not a bad word to say about him, other than he was one stubborn person in his emails LOL.
Shame on me, for saying what I said, if all is completely true.
I need to let this all go now and move on. It's been troubling me for weeks. Time to let go. I need to stop the constant crying, and put it all behind me.
Peace
At any rate, I'm not sure why Tonnie told me he was still running 3-4 miles/day (last weekend, I believe) with advanced lung cancer, although he always coughed up blood "gunk", but perhaps he just wanted me to think he was doing well, even though he was not even running. I really don't know. Not all the details have to be true for everything to be true.
And I still do not know why Mattie wrote a visitor message to me yesterday very much in the same way Tonnie did in his emails to me (same apostrophe in "photo's" and his capitalization of "HOT", just like Tonnie did). I know Tonnie spoke New Zealand English like his roomate Mattie, but it seemed bizarre to me that he wrote both of these like Tonnie. Perhaps it's nothing at all (there were also things in Tonnie's 13 emails to me that were just like Mattie's "workmate" message above, but I could just be imagining things like if Mattie was also Danish???).
As much as I liked Tonnie, I did not know him well. He seemed like a most adorable and gentle soul in our exchanges, however. I have not a bad word to say about him, other than he was one stubborn person in his emails LOL.
Shame on me, for saying what I said, if all is completely true.
I need to let this all go now and move on. It's been troubling me for weeks. Time to let go. I need to stop the constant crying, and put it all behind me.
Peace
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HellsKitchenmanNYC
Expert Member
I think I just need to say good-bye to LPSG sometimes. This is all getting too much for me. This is supposed to be a fun site, a place for relaxation and "adult" entertainment; but it's turning into a nightmare for me. It's causing me unnecessary pain and that's not what this place is all about.
Jason_els's death set me back a while, and now this...
:frown1:When I am going to learn to not get emotionally involved with online strangers?
I thought this place was about big penises?:biggrin1:
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It's a shame this is happening, to be honest. But I can't say I'm entirely surprised. This isn't the first time the fine people of LPSG have been duped, and I'm sure it won't be our last. This is a situation you can find anywhere on the internet really. I'm presuming Tonnie made his appearance and won the hearts of all of you during the time I wasn't really around much. I never knew the guy, myself, so I don't have the emotional attachment. I'm supposing this is a good thing right about now.
I just feel sorry for whoever this person is. They're obviously a very sick (mentally) individual that needs lots and lots of help. Here's to hoping they get it.
Now... I am certainly no doctor, but cancer runs in my family and I've seen it run its course multiple times. One thing that struck me as odd about this situation, in the email that jjsjr received, is that he basically stated he was perfectly fine until he hurt himself, then he was diagnosed with cancer in FOUR areas (which is amazing, really, that he went that long with no symptoms) and then after diagnosis, he was suddenly really sick - coughing up stuff, peeing blood, etc. That's generally not how this illness works, not in my experience. If he were that close to death, he would've had some pretty hefty stuff going on long before this, I'd think. But again - I'm not doctor, I didn't want to judge him, so I didn't at the time. Hindsight's always 20/20, eh?
I just feel sorry for whoever this person is. They're obviously a very sick (mentally) individual that needs lots and lots of help. Here's to hoping they get it.
Now... I am certainly no doctor, but cancer runs in my family and I've seen it run its course multiple times. One thing that struck me as odd about this situation, in the email that jjsjr received, is that he basically stated he was perfectly fine until he hurt himself, then he was diagnosed with cancer in FOUR areas (which is amazing, really, that he went that long with no symptoms) and then after diagnosis, he was suddenly really sick - coughing up stuff, peeing blood, etc. That's generally not how this illness works, not in my experience. If he were that close to death, he would've had some pretty hefty stuff going on long before this, I'd think. But again - I'm not doctor, I didn't want to judge him, so I didn't at the time. Hindsight's always 20/20, eh?
D_Gunther Snotpole
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Seems very likely.
And the idea that, apparently close to death, he was running several miles a day ....
Things just don't fit.
The appearance of 'Mattii' ... with the identical writing style and the same ISP ... pretty much put deep-sixed this whole lil' myth for me.
If I'm wrong, I'm of course sorry.
But there's too much wrong with this story to worry about that.
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Muffin, you know I respect you, as I'm sure many here do. If you have information that contradicts what people are speculating, why don't you post it here instead of in PM's? Prove the doubting Thomas's wrong.
I got your Double Meat Whopper right here, buddy. :biggrin2:
...or just lots and lots of attention.
I just tend to think someone who would do this is lonely and a bit of a fantasist - they need to get out more and realise the negative impact they're having on ppl.
molotovmuffin
Experimental Member
I would if I could. The mods know what I know and they choose that Tonnie was a hoax. Mattii is an idiot... but he was unable to reach Tonnie threw any other means in his mind...so he posted here..again. I'm not allowed to post any further messages from Tonnie...so I won't.
Wow, what a strange story. It reminds me of the person who hoaxed the fans and performers of the musical Rent by pretending to be dying (36 minutes into the radio show Hoaxing Yourself by This American Life).
I never knew Tonnie, but reading this thread was still upsetting. It brought up memories of TheBF's friend who was practically the same age when he died from cancer rather recently. At least it still feels recent to us. It was so painful.
In the past, I have been exposed to fantasists who create elaborate and bizarre stories in order to place themselves at the center of a drama, and been one of the victims, and it's a cruel thing to do to anyone. It's so hard to imagine the narcissistic personality who would feel the need to do something like that, toy with other people's lives and their emotions for attention, but people like that do exist.
In the end I cut off everyone who remained involved in the drama and with it's creators in order to protect myself from being further victimised. I told friends that I was doing so and I would cut off contact with them if they did not do the same as me. I told them that I would make no exceptions because I was afraid and it was the only way I felt that I could protect myself. I kept that promise. A lot of people considered my reaction to be extreme, and I stubbornly (and wisely, in my opinion) maintained that firewall for over a dozen years. I still believe I made the right choice. My first face to face contact with the highly creative mind who made my life hell so many years ago revealed many just as far-fetched dramas that victimized the former friends I had who had refused to do the same thing as me and whom I had cut off all contact with as a result. They were hurt too, just as I originally suspected would eventually happen.
Everyone, please be very careful.
I never knew Tonnie, but reading this thread was still upsetting. It brought up memories of TheBF's friend who was practically the same age when he died from cancer rather recently. At least it still feels recent to us. It was so painful.
In the past, I have been exposed to fantasists who create elaborate and bizarre stories in order to place themselves at the center of a drama, and been one of the victims, and it's a cruel thing to do to anyone. It's so hard to imagine the narcissistic personality who would feel the need to do something like that, toy with other people's lives and their emotions for attention, but people like that do exist.
In the end I cut off everyone who remained involved in the drama and with it's creators in order to protect myself from being further victimised. I told friends that I was doing so and I would cut off contact with them if they did not do the same as me. I told them that I would make no exceptions because I was afraid and it was the only way I felt that I could protect myself. I kept that promise. A lot of people considered my reaction to be extreme, and I stubbornly (and wisely, in my opinion) maintained that firewall for over a dozen years. I still believe I made the right choice. My first face to face contact with the highly creative mind who made my life hell so many years ago revealed many just as far-fetched dramas that victimized the former friends I had who had refused to do the same thing as me and whom I had cut off all contact with as a result. They were hurt too, just as I originally suspected would eventually happen.
Everyone, please be very careful.
If you're not allowed to post messages, couldn't you still paraphrase or explain why you're so convinced? Why did Tonnie choose such a convoluted way to close his account when he could have just requested it? Why did Tonnie, mistakenly it appears, address his alter ego IFNOT4YOU as 'Mattii' in their VM exchange on 9/25, calling someone he had supposedly just met on the internet by his flatmate's name - before Mattii had joined the site and presumably before he had picked this user name? How do you know for sure that Tonnie and Mattii are two separate people? Isn't it strange that before he was banned, but after Tonnie was banned, this brand new member Mattii suddenly jumped in and amassed a history of 44 posts in his first three days, posts that were mostly all throwaways except for the one very detailed post in this thread? Isn't it strange the level of detail in that post, and isn't it all a bit extreme, describing Tonnie's office locked up as a shrine where his hateful boss goes to weep for someone ill, not someone dead, and all of it elevating Tonnie almost to saintly status? Isn't it strange that Tonnie's flatmate would have no way to reach him and choose to communicate with him here after Tonnie had been banned - and then only get around to posting his message to Tonnie after he had tooled around the site posting 30 other random messages? Isn't it also strange he would post a long list of friends and coworkers names and all sorts of other identifying details, including Tonnie's real name, knowing that Tonnie had supposedly closed his account out of privacy concerns - as Tonnie explains in his own words posted in this very thread? How do you know for sure Tonnie is ill? Don't you think the sudden critical onset of his cancer followed quickly by his mysterious miraculous remission is a bit hard to fathom? Don't you think that considering all of this, even considering half of this, the scenario is a bit hard to fathom?
I hope you won't be angry with me, I don't mean to challenge you or put you on the spot, but these are the questions in my mind that would need answered in order for me to be convinced this was anything but a hoax and a desperate cry for attention and approval. You can choose to answer some or none of this as you wish, and I will think no less of you. But I would hope you'd understand why with all this taken together people are suspicious, and justifiably so. For me, it just doesn't add up at all.
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molotovmuffin
Experimental Member
Max...I am not angry with anyone. I can not go into a lot of detail now but when I can I will.
Mattii was also IFNOT4YOU and was trying to help Tonnie get banned. Seems to me that that's what friends do for eachother.... In Tonnie's mind it was the only true way of getting all of his personal and private items deleted. It was wrong of him to do... he knew that.... and even mentioned it in the email I posted for him.
Mattii... not being a long time member probably didn't understand the terms of service and broke several rules as many newbies do. AND if having many posts after joining is reason for banning....well...look at my track record. I have NO posts worth merit and had over a 1K in my first month. So... that point is moot.
Why are you people fixated on the fact that his lung tumors shrunk so miraculously? That happens all the time.... If I only had a few months to live and there was no hope of recovery... I wouldn't go through hopeless treatment either and I sure as hell would do what ever I wanted. Even travel.
If having the same IP as another member is cause for being banned...then I can think of quite a few LPSG members who are breaking that rule. Should I mention names?
Now....would anyone like Mattii's real name? I got that too.
Please understand this... I am trying to protect someone...but it's not Tonnie and when I can tell what I know...I will.
Mattii was also IFNOT4YOU and was trying to help Tonnie get banned. Seems to me that that's what friends do for eachother.... In Tonnie's mind it was the only true way of getting all of his personal and private items deleted. It was wrong of him to do... he knew that.... and even mentioned it in the email I posted for him.
Mattii... not being a long time member probably didn't understand the terms of service and broke several rules as many newbies do. AND if having many posts after joining is reason for banning....well...look at my track record. I have NO posts worth merit and had over a 1K in my first month. So... that point is moot.
Why are you people fixated on the fact that his lung tumors shrunk so miraculously? That happens all the time.... If I only had a few months to live and there was no hope of recovery... I wouldn't go through hopeless treatment either and I sure as hell would do what ever I wanted. Even travel.
If having the same IP as another member is cause for being banned...then I can think of quite a few LPSG members who are breaking that rule. Should I mention names?
Now....would anyone like Mattii's real name? I got that too.
Please understand this... I am trying to protect someone...but it's not Tonnie and when I can tell what I know...I will.
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