Gossip

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_Tintagel_Demondong, Nov 19, 2008.

  1. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    Is it immoral? Don't we all gossip? Haven't we all been caught?

    I have a rule: I accept that I am human, and therefore gossip--but I try to keep it positive.

    I know that it's wrong to say that, "Selma wears a wig," but isn't saying that, "Selma is beautiful without her makeup on," also gossip--and equally immoral?

    Having recently been caught gossiping negatively about somebody, I have to wonder: Am I just being human or are we all really able to avoid gossip altogether?

    Interesting fact: Men gossip as much as women. (source)
     
    #1 D_Tintagel_Demondong, Nov 19, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2008
  2. vince

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    Sure we all gossip. I don't think we can stop it anymore than we can stop wanking our weanies.

    I agree that men gossip a much as women. Possibly more. The small industry I work in runs on gossip. A friend and I did an experiment a couple years ago. We started a (false) rumour about a new company from Holland setting up shop in our area. We told two people and cautioned them that it was strictly confidential information. In two days I had people calling me asking if I had heard about it and they had filled out all kinds of details about the new firm.

    I think it is human nature to be curious about others and naturally we talk. As long as it isn't malicious, I don't have a problem.

    I have never been caught. (that I know of).
     
  3. cockoloco

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    Yes, we all gossip, but common sense is key.

    If your gossip involves someone you appreciate/love and you are aware that this might hurt them or another person involved, or that your words will have negative effects on this particular person/situation, then you are lacking tact and ethics.

    The main question should be: Why do we gossip? Is it becuase we have fun out of it? Is it because it is an alternative path to get what we want? Is it because we want to cause a reaction/effect on a person/situation to our advantage?
     
  4. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I think it's the nature of the beast to talk about someone. Positive or negative. One just has to watch what they say. However... you may not to be aware you are doing it at times. Too often one starts a conversation with another, and it shifts from work, to members at work, to what shirley in accounting did on her break.

    According to the internet:

    chitchat: light informal conversation for social occasions
    dish the dirt: wag one's tongue; speak about others and reveal secrets or intimacies; "She won't dish the dirt"
    a report (often malicious) about the behavior of other people; "the divorce caused much gossip"
    chew the fat: talk socially without exchanging too much information; "the men were sitting in the cafe and shooting the breeze"
    a person given to gossiping and divulging personal information about others

    Gossip is idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars. Most gossip is a distorted and far-fetched story derived from a small reality

    Apparently, it's also a double album recorded by Paul Kelly & The Coloured Girls and originally released in 1986.

    Using that information, it seems rather harmful in some cases. I think, based on cockcooooo's response, we would gossip because we enjoy the attention on some level. People pay attention to us when we have something 'juicy" to say. It doesn't really make it ok, but it's something to consider.
     
  5. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    I have another policy about gossip that I strictly adhere to:
    I never say anything about anyone that I wouldn't say to their face. I adopted this policy after calling the toughest kid in town an "asshole" behind his back when I was 14. It got back to him and, luckily, I came out with only a few bruises.

    Somebody once told me that any talk about somebody behind their back--good or bad--is gossip. I tend to disagree. As Jeff wrote, to me, gossip seems to be about other's personal matters--especially very privy information that should probably be kept that way.

    On the other hand, If my sister was dating a player, I'd tell her. This meets all the criteria of gossip, but it's helpful.

    I guess my point is that gossip might make us better people, since your cheating, lying, scamming and stealing, etc. could all come back to bite you in the ass through the grapevine.
     
  6. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    Tell me what you said about me and I'll tell you something interesting about Xenofia.
     
  7. killerb

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    gossip is something I try to avoid...
    people often come to me & say things about other people...
    sometimes I ask "so why are you telling ME?"
    other times I simply say "ok, not another word...I don't wanna hear it"
    the weird thing is, because I don't get into gossip, others see me as trustworthy and therefore feel comfortable telling me all kinds of secrets...
    and I never reveal them...

    yes, gossip is immoral...and should be avoided...life is so much easier when you don't involve yourself in gossip...
     
  8. vince

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    The funny thing I've noticed about myself and gossip is, that if I hear negative stuff about someone, I seems I forget it rather quickly. Many times someone gossips to me and then days later they say something again and I can't remember what it is they are talking about. It's a little embarrassing actually. Maybe my brain is emptying the trash.
     
  9. exwhyzee

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    The wise old owl lived in an oak,
    The more he saw the less he spoke,
    the less he spoke the more he heard,
    the wise old owl was a wise old bird.

    That poem belonged to my great-grandparents. It hangs in its orginal frame in my house.
     
  10. B_starinvestor

    B_starinvestor New Member

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    Generally gossip involves some type of strife or failure or problem on the part of someone we know, and somehow makes us feel better about our own lives. I think its a normal human emotion and action, as long as the subject isn't harmed and the tales aren't unjustly embellished.
     
  11. nudeyorker

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    I think gossip is the way that most people catch up on the events of the lives of people that they know. However here say and rumors that are not true can be very hurtful and destructive. I think spreading false gossip with the intent to hurt someone is beyond contempt. But a cup of coffee and some juicy interesting details if they are positive and upbeat are great. When it comes to raking someone over the coals I tend to shy away from all of that.
     
  12. jason_els

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    Every time I hear the word gossip, I can't help but think of this scene.
     
  13. exwhyzee

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    Oh yeah, Jason, great scene. Great musical.

    I recognize the woman in the brown hat who says "Balzac"...she posts here on LPSG and makes wild and sundry accusations about people she claims to know. Silly bitch. :tongue:
     
  14. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    Oh Yeah. I see it now. They think they know that guy pretty well, don't they?
     
  15. exwhyzee

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    Actually, they were claiming to know the Marion the Librarian. She was the one they accused of sleeping with Miser Madison...to get all his money. Shhh! :tongue:
     
  16. Principessa

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    I do the same thing. I like the idea of your mind emptying the trash. :cool: Of course that doesn't explain why I can't seem to forget my first phone number, my ex-boyfriends birthdays, or the theme songs to the Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island.

    S: (adj) immoral (deliberately violating accepted principles of right and wrong)

    Ditto



    No, not if it's the truth.


    It has been my experience that gossiping in a negative fashion isn't immoral or human it's just being a bitch.
     
  17. nudeyorker

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    My mother had a saying; "If it's the truth it is not mean" On the other hand she also said "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything!"
     
  18. Phil Ayesho

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    anyone claiming they don't gossip is either a liar, or totally lacking in self awareness.

    You do it every time you open your mouth.

    Gossip is POLITICS.
    And human beings, being social, are political animals.

    Even something as innocuous and as 'positive' as telling someone you think some girl you both know is pretty, is gossip. Whether you realize it or not, you are saying it in hopes that it will get back to her and raise your stock in her eyes. Or you are saying it in hopes that it will get back to someone else who will feel jealous... and maybe get you more attention from that person.
    Or you are saying it so that your friend will have a certain understanding of what appeals to you... or to broadcast that you are not gay...

    But there is ALWAYS a social purpose to ANYTHING you say about ANYTHING.

    And, even more interestingly.... you are most likely saying it with several purposes, layered and nuanced in subtle complexity that you don't even consciously realize.

    Some people are very good at using very nuanced and subtle gossip to move upward thru a social hierarchy... or to maintain whatever position they are comfortable in...

    And some people are really awkward at it... the awkward ones are the one we CALL gossips, because their efforts and agenda are so transparent.


    But we are ALL competing with each other in the social arena in every imaginable way.
    We evolved to do it.

    You may be able to exercise some intellectual control and try to be less damaging in your gossip...
    But you can not communicate anything wihtout that communication being shaped by a deep understanding that what you say to one will be spread to others.

    Part of the reason human beings evolved complex symbolic speech... was to deal with nuanced social relationships in precisely this way.
     
  19. Gl3nn

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    Actually... 70% of what we talk about is about other people...so 70% of everything we say is gossip.

    Think about that for a second!
     
  20. D_Jared Padalicki

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    weird enough, but gossip is life and is living. If we don't gossip we never will know how others are doing without seeing them. It's a part of life and we all do it. There is bad gossiping, but weird enough is bad gossiping most of the time the truth...
    I try to avoide saying bad things about people if I don't know enough of a siuation.
     
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