Got a weird call last night

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Okay last night about 3am driving home from the club I get a call from one of my best friends who lives in another state...Background info - we got into a little fight about 6 or 7 months ago - nothing serious I just got upset because I called him twice and he never returned my call for about 2 days then I sent him a nasty email questioning our friendship...But we definitely have made up since then and I totally forgot about the fight...

But last night he called me at 3am and kept insisting that I am his best friend and that he loves me and hopes that I am not still mad at him for not calling me back...I mean he must have told me he loved me like 6 or 7 times throughout the conversation of 10 or 15 mins because it started getting a little mushy because he keep asking me if I loved him which I said yes of course...But it started to feel a little weird when I got home trying to figure out why the call out of the blue...Anybody have any thoughts on this...

 

[db03]

Hey was probably drunk, I always do things like that when I've had a few too many

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

He definitely was drunk but we have had many of those type calls...But we never really had the type of conversation about how much he loved me and if I loved him...And this guy and I have been best friends for like 4 or 5 years so we know everything about each other...

 

[db03]

I used to have a friend like that, we were really close, but then we drifted apart.

Take advantage of this event and dont fall out again.

I regret that I dont talk to my former best mate anymore

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Yeah we definitely made it clear that just because he moved to a different state that we would remain close...And I go visit him about 2 or 3 times a year...I do consider myself lucky because I have 4 guy best friends that I am really close w/like this...

 

[dickbulge]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande@May 14 2005, 09:17 AM
He definitely was drunk but we have had many of those type calls...But we never really had the type of conversation about how much he loved me and if I loved him...And this guy and I have been best friends for like 4 or 5 years so we know everything about each other...

[post=310968]Quoted post[/post]​

People change, relationships deepen or fall apart, and friends change too. Because the bounderies in your friendship seem to be established it doesn't mean they will always be that way or that your friend views them the same way. This guy was feeling real emotional, as one does when drunk, and with his inhibitions lowered said what was in his heart.

Don't be offended (and I'm sure your aren't) and don't attach any kind of romantic or sexual meaning to the words. I know you only from your posts but bounderies aren't bad things, necessarily, for a guy as sensitive and full of affection as you are.

You don't ever have to bring the words up with him - just be glad in your heart he said them.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Dickbulge - Thanks...I think you really hit on what I am feeling...When I said it gave me a weird feeling I probably should have said it was a good weird feeling though...I think as guys we are conditioned not to share feeling of love w/other males (talking about straight guys and only from my experience)...I guess I am definitely the type that throws the love word out there ever...

 

[Landshark77]

Friend + Alcohol = Mushy Drunk Phone Calls in the wee hours of the night.

 

[2322]

Not weird at all. It's such typical drunk behavior that you just let it go and appreciate the sentiment behind the awkward hour. Obviously he's worried that the distance and his preivous apology might have caused you to say everything's ok even if it wasn't. I think you're very lucky to have a friend that close and who cares about you that much. I also agree, don't read anything sexual into it either. You might also want to mention to him that you appreciate the things he said so he doesn't do the typical morning after bit of, "Oh my god, what did I do last night??", and feel very embarassed.

 

[13788]

carolinacurious: PNG,

Maybe I'm getting you confused with someone else, but haven't we established that you and many of your friends frequently enjoy "ecstasy"? While this is common drunk behavior it is extremely common ecstasy behavior. It also might spread a little insight on your "hand on the thigh" thread.

 

[KidBrown]

I couldn't tell you how many times I've told my friends I've loved them, even when sober. When you lose people that are close to you, it's important to let others know that they're an important part of your life. Sometimes I'll get the old "dude, I know....." and a pat on the back, other times my friends will tell me to stop acting like a weirdo, whatever. I just feel that it's an important thing for me to express my feelings towards others because you never know how long someone close to you will be around, and you can't tell them that you care about them when they're gone.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Originally posted by KidBrown@May 17 2005, 12:21 AM
I couldn't tell you how many times I've told my friends I've loved them, even when sober. When you lose people that are close to you, it's important to let others know that they're an important part of your life. Sometimes I'll get the old "dude, I know....." and a pat on the back, other times my friends will tell me to stop acting like a weirdo, whatever. I just feel that it's an important thing for me to express my feelings towards others because you never know how long someone close to you will be around, and you can't tell them that you care about them when they're gone.

[post=311948]Quoted post[/post]​

This is so true. I have a core group of about 15 or so friends with whom I have been close since jr. high school (that goes back to 1971.) We are all still close, and have been there for each other through deaths in the group or in the families, marriages, divorces, births...
Although the number of "I love you"s was a bit excessive, don't let that detract from anything. I never end a phone conversation or an in-person visit with someone I care about, without actually saying "I love you." Once in my life, I lost someone I cared about deeply, and one of the things that still bothers me to this day is that the last conversation I had with her, I didn't say those words. Fortunately, when my Mom died, I had talked to her the day before, and I got to tell her how much I loved her before we hung up. If this guy really is an important friend, don't be afraid to let him know.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by carolinacurious@May 16 2005, 09:05 PM
PNG,

Maybe I'm getting you confused with someone else, but haven't we established that you and many of your friends frequently enjoy "ecstasy"? While this is common drunk behavior it is extremely common ecstasy behavior. It also might spread a little insight on your "hand on the thigh" thread.

[post=311865]Quoted post[/post]​

He was only drinking I am sure...And I had only been drinking myself...

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by DC_DEEP@May 17 2005, 12:51 PM
This is so true. I have a core group of about 15 or so friends with whom I have been close since jr. high school (that goes back to 1971.) We are all still close, and have been there for each other through deaths in the group or in the families, marriages, divorces, births...
Although the number of "I love you"s was a bit excessive, don't let that detract from anything. I never end a phone conversation or an in-person visit with someone I care about, without actually saying "I love you." Once in my life, I lost someone I cared about deeply, and one of the things that still bothers me to this day is that the last conversation I had with her, I didn't say those words. Fortunately, when my Mom died, I had talked to her the day before, and I got to tell her how much I loved her before we hung up. If this guy really is an important friend, don't be afraid to let him know.

[post=312095]Quoted post[/post]​

He knows how I feel...Like I said we are pretty close and when we lived in the same city - not only did we work together we hung out together on the weekends...

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande+May 17 2005, 04:57 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pene_Negro_Grande &#064; May 17 2005, 04:57 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-DC_DEEP@May 17 2005, 12:51 PM
This is so true.  I have a core group of about 15 or so friends with whom I have been close since jr. high school (that goes back to 1971.)  We are all still close, and have been there for each other through deaths in the group or in the families, marriages, divorces, births... 
Although the number of "I love you"s was a bit excessive, don&#39;t let that detract from anything.  I never end a phone conversation or an in-person visit with someone I care about, without actually saying "I love you."  Once in my life, I lost someone I cared about deeply, and one of the things that still bothers me to this day is that the last conversation I had with her, I didn&#39;t say those words.  Fortunately, when my Mom died, I had talked to her the day before, and I got to tell her how much I loved her before we hung up.  If this guy really is an important friend, don&#39;t be afraid to let him know.

[post=312095]Quoted post[/post]​

He knows how I feel...Like I said we are pretty close and when we lived in the same city - not only did we work together we hung out together on the weekends...

[post=312097]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]


Pene_Negro_Grande, when you first heard him, did you think it was something more then just a drunk friend caling in the middle of the night? Does he remember the whole incident?

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

Originally posted by alleyblu@May 17 2005, 01:18 PM
Pene_Negro_Grande, when you first heard him, did you think it was something more then just  a drunk friend caling in the middle of the night?  Does he remember the whole incident?

[post=312111]Quoted post[/post]​

I really think it was not something crazy...He is known for calling me at odd times and I haven&#39;t spoken w/him since the incident...I had him a day or two earlier and left him a message that I would be in his city later this month and I just figured he was calling me back but I can&#39;t remember but I thought he had called me back and we talked about that before earlier that day...

 

[Alley Blue]

Originally posted by Pene_Negro_Grande+May 17 2005, 05:32 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pene_Negro_Grande &#064; May 17 2005, 05:32 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-alleyblu@May 17 2005, 01:18 PM
Pene_Negro_Grande, when you first heard him, did you think it was something more then just  a drunk friend caling in the middle of the night?  Does he remember the whole incident?

[post=312111]Quoted post[/post]​

I really think it was something crazy...He is known for calling me at odd times and I haven&#39;t spoken w/him since the incident...I had him a day or two earlier and left him a message that I would be in his city later this month and I just figured he was calling me back but I can&#39;t remember but I thought he had called me back and we talked about that before earlier that day...

[post=312117]Quoted post[/post]​

[/b][/quote]

Maybe you could give him a follow up call just to see how he&#39;s doing and to see if everything is ok ( and to see if he remembers anything.....if he does&#39;nt then you know it was just the vodka talking) Perhaps he&#39;s dealing with something right now and he just needed to hear someone say I love you.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

I think I will give him a followup call and see what was up...

 

[Simon9]

Originally posted by KidBrown@May 17 2005, 12:21 AM
...because you never know how long someone close to you will be around, and you can&#39;t tell them that you care about them when they&#39;re gone.

[post=311948]Quoted post[/post]​

This is so true. My experience has been that people have a disturbing way of suddenly, and often inexplicably, dropping out of one&#39;s life permanently. So enjoy them when they&#39;re around because it doesn&#39;t last forever. Tell them you love them or not, I find it doesn&#39;t really make the slightest difference in the long run. Friendship are largely illusional, given the nature of human beings, although I understand some people are fortunate enough to make friendships that last.

We&#39;re all transients, like it or not.

 

[Pene_Negro_Grande]

I hope that is not true...I have made some great friends I have had since elementary school who I am still close with...We do get into habits of not talking on the phone for several months because of our busy lives like them having marriages and families to deal with but when we do talk it like we are those kids in high school again and all we do is laugh and talk about silly shit...So I am sure we will be friends forever...