Got turned down at the weekend for being too big....

dolfette

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ive never had a negative experience, its all about smooth talking ur way into her vagina. just brace the tip, kiss her lips and whisper naughty things. She will take it and she ALWAYS loves it....any girl. u shouldnt let her feel it first though
you're talking utter rot.
 

ignatius4446z

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ive never had a negative experience, its all about smooth talking ur way into her vagina. just brace the tip, kiss her lips and whisper naughty things. She will take it and she ALWAYS loves it....any girl. u shouldnt let her feel it first though

I kind of agree with Dolfette on this (and what she says about similar posts).

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that what you're suggesting would amount, in some circumstances, to rape.

Remember, this wasn't a situation where it wouldn't fit inside her or we had sex and she didn't enjoy it. She outright refused to have sex with me when we were still in the "clothes on-kissing-and-groping" stage. So, there was no question of me dipping, easing, sweet-talking, slamming or otherwise obtaining entry for my penis into her vajine.

It may well be that her pussy could have physically accomodated my cock. In a 2 decade sexual career, I haven't met one yet that, to a greater or lesser extent, has not welcomed me inside. And not being a 17 year old virgin, I'm well aware of the tricks, tips and techniques for making a fundamental size mismatch less problematic. But that is not the issue, and some people (well, by "people" I mean "guys") have missed it. The point is that she decided she didn't want to take things further, and I respected her wishes. I talked to her about it and gave her various assurances, but it seems from reading between the lines that her previous experience of a big dick was so traumatic that she didn't want to even give it a try.

Some guys have said things along the lines of "maybe she just wasn't in the mood/isn't into you". Well, we made out for a couple of hours after that, during which I fingered her several times and the urgency of her kisses and the soaking wetness of her pussy seemed to suggest at least a modicum of sexual attraction. And she's clearly "into" me, as I get around 10 texts and 2 or 3 phone calls a day from her.
 
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ignatius4446z

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Is she the realtionship girl for you or just a fun time.

No, it's not going to lead to a serious relationship. She's gorgeous looking, she has an amazing body and I really like her company. I look forward to her texts, but less so her phone calls, cos Oh. My. God, can she talk, and I'm a typical guy who likes his phone calls short and functional ("who are you, what do you want, when are we meeting, ok see you later"). She's clever, funny and interesting, and it's a bonus that we can talk about the funnies and frustrations of our niche profession without the need for explanation, but neither of us are looking for love.

I've just come out of a very intense 2 year love affair that ended acrimoniously and there are bazillions of other things going on in my life that would make a deep commitment impossible, so I don't want and can't have a serious relationship right now. But most of all, I know I won't fall in love with her. Don't ask me why. I just know. The two women I've been in love with, I couldn't stop thinking about them almost from the moment I met them, but that's not happening with her.
 

lottie

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I'd much prefer to find out a guy was big than small, much more of a turn on. But that's based more on viewing, rather than if they were too big to fit or at least being able to enjoy the sex.

As you are just friends, then tell her you don't want constant calls. The whole point of being just friends, is you can both be honest and have fun.
 

ignatius4446z

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As you are just friends, then tell her you don't want constant calls. The whole point of being just friends, is you can both be honest and have fun.

Yep. Exactly. When she phones I sometimes feel like picking the call up and yelling, "Stop calling me! I'm not your boyfriend, because, as you may have noticed, boyfriends usually get to have sex with their girlfriends!"

But I don't. I usually ignore the call and then text back a few mins later.
 

Tattooed Goddess

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Yep. Exactly. When she phones I sometimes feel like picking the call up and yelling, "Stop calling me! I'm not your boyfriend, because, as you may have noticed, boyfriends usually get to have sex with their girlfriends!"

But I don't. I usually ignore the call and then text back a few mins later.

Stop guilt tripping people for not bowing down and worshiping your cock. Get over yourself and go find someone else or stop subjecting us to your drama and stupidity- regardless of your IQ Sir.
 

ignatius4446z

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Stop guilt tripping people for not bowing down and worshiping your cock. Get over yourself and go find someone else or stop subjecting us to your drama and stupidity- regardless of your IQ Sir.

Whoa. Someone got out of bed the wrong side today!
 

Incocknito

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I've never had this problem and my cock is probably the same size as yours. I've had people say it's too big or "I can't take it", "oh my god" etc but it turns out they can take it.

And even times where women can't take it for whatever reason, they at least try to take it. Maybe you need to work on your skillz
 

ignatius4446z

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And even times where women can't take it for whatever reason, they at least try to take it. Maybe you need to work on your skillz

Yet another person who hasn't read the posts where I clearly state that it didn't even reach the stage of trying to achieve penetration. Jeez :rolleyes:
 

Guy-jin

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I think you're getting negative responses here because in some of your posts, you come across as a pompous asshole.

As to the issue, this has happened to me once, actually. A woman who was apparently traumatized by another hung man saw my dick and actually walked out on me. The difference between what you're describing and that is that, according to you at least, this girl is still interested in you.

Let's assume that's true. If it is, and if you actually care about pursuing a sexual relationship with her, all you have to do is take your time. If she actually cares for you, she'll figure out a way with you to compensate for your compatibility problems.

I state this from fact as well, because my SO was also traumatized (to the point of sexual abuse, really) by a very hung man in the past and, after finding out that I too am hung, had to have a long discussion with me about it and how it would take time for us to become compatible (and it has). Of course, we love each other a great deal, so working on it has been totally amenable to me. She has a lot more to offer than just her pussy, though--maybe for you, this girl doesn't.

That said, however, if you don't give two shits about her anyway then I see no reason you have to go on in this thread about the whole event. It does strike me as odd that you've brought up how hung you are, how smart you are, and how much you don't really care about this girl unless she's willing to put out.

Let's put it this way: You're clearly at least in your mid-30s. You had a past long term relationship and just got out of another fairly long term (two year) relationship. Something is up there. I don't want to shatter what seems to be a fairly fragile ego, but it's possible you're a bit insecure as a result of these failures. I can't really fathom another reason you'd actually go as far as explaining how high your IQ is in this thread (a statistic that, as a person who's quite intelligent himself, I've always found incredibly unimpressive). So this woman rejecting you for something you've generally felt was one of your best features (right before your IQ judging by how often you've brought it up) has shaken you up and that's why you posted here.

Now it seems like you want a fling with this chick, but she won't put out. But she wants to flirt and kiss and play the part without the sex. If you don't want those things, drop her. I mean, you're all bent out of shape that she didn't put out because she's not interested in your big cock and if you're in it for the sex in the first place, then that's really the only solution. Man up and end the texts and phone calls. Tell her if she wants to be your g/f, then for you that means sex has to happen, and if she's not into that, then the texts and phone calls need to stop.

Or let yourself keep getting strung along if you're enjoying it. It's kind of hard to tell based on what you've said here.
 
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ignatius4446z

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I think you're getting negative responses here because in some of your posts, you come across as a pompous asshole.

......

That said, however, if you don't give two shits about her anyway then I see no reason you have to go on in this thread about the whole event. It does strike me as odd that you've brought up how hung you are, how smart you are, and how much you don't really care about this girl unless she's willing to put out.

Let's put it this way: You're clearly at least in your mid-30s. You had a past long term relationship and just got out of another fairly long term (two year) relationship. Something is up there. I don't want to shatter what seems to be a fairly fragile ego, but it's possible you're a bit insecure as a result of these failures. I can't really fathom another reason you'd actually go as far as explaining how high your IQ is in this thread (a statistic that, as a person who's quite intelligent himself, I've always found incredibly unimpressive). So this woman rejecting you for something you've generally felt was one of your best features (right before your IQ judging by how often you've brought it up) has shaken you up and that's why you posted here.

Now it seems like you want a fling with this chick, but she won't put out. But she wants to flirt and kiss and play the part without the sex. If you don't want those things, drop her. I mean, you're all bent out of shape that she didn't put out because she's not interested in your big cock and if you're in it for the sex in the first place, then that's really the only solution. Man up and end the texts and phone calls. Tell her if she wants to be your g/f, then for you that means sex has to happen, and if she's not into that, then the texts and phone calls need to stop.

Or let yourself keep getting strung along if you're enjoying it. It's kind of hard to tell based on what you've said here.

1. If you had read the thread properly, then you would have noticed that things were going fine until somebody decided to make a snide comment along the lines of "you're obviously not too high up the evolutionary scale", in response to a silly throw-away remark I had made. I suppose I should be used to that by now, as forums do tend to act as asshole-magnets and so people who IRL wouldn't say boo to a goose and/or who need to feel some sort of personal validation by being a swaggering bigshot in cyberspace make remarks that are rude, aggressive and provocative. I actually think it is rather pathetic that people do that, especially when 99 times out of 100 they wouldn't dare do it if you were in the room with them, because they know they'd most likely end up picking their teeth up off the carpet.

Anyway, I digress - the comment that person made referred to a character in a book which happens to be one of my all-time favourites. So I responded in the idiosyncratic style of that fictional character (who is pompous, but farcically and hilariously so) - in fact, I think my responses were actually direct quotes from the book. If you didn't get the reference, and it seems that you didn't, then perhaps that is why you concluded erroneously that I am pompous.

Actually, I could level that same accusation (and a few other choice epithets) at some of the people who have responded to this thread, but I haven't, or my responses have been limited, because I generally prefer to ignore such people rather than giving them the oxygen of publicity.

2. I think I only mentioned IQ once, and that was simply to rebut that person's claim that I was some sort of knuckle-dragger. So, when you say "I can't really fathom another reason [other than insecurity] you'd actually go so far as explaining how high your IQ is", what you mean is "I can't fathom another reason because (a) I haven't read the thread properly, or (b) it doesn't suit my argument to acknowledge that reason."

Anyhoo - I could have made the same point by reeling off my academics and some highlights from my CV, but I didn't, because that would involve disclosing personal information from which, if someone who happens to know me read this thread, they could deduce my identity.

It is others who have seemingly been so put out by me having the temerity to defend myself who have made a number of references to that remark, so again, you are in error when you accuse me of bringing it up "often".

3. I am not sure where you get the idea that I "don't really care about this girl unless she's willing to put out". It's just the opposite in fact. I really like her, and I have made that pretty clear. She is just the sort of person I would want to have a relationship with, although at the moment I don't want a deep commitment (and neither, for that matter, does she).

And that is the frustrating thing. I like her, I am attracted to her both physically and intellectually and I enjoy our friendship, and she likes everything about me apart from my penis. I don't see it as an affront that she doesn't (to quote yet another of the nasty little jumped-up broadband bullies on this thread) "bow down and worship my cock" - I just find it incredibly frustrating that as a result of this issue, we seem to be stuck in a sort of hinterland where we are a bit more than friends, but a bit less than lovers.

4. There is nothing "up" with me per se because I have had two LTRs that broke down, which is what you seem to imply. That is an absolutely enormous and erroneous assumption to add to the other misinterpretations and mistakes of fact you have made in your post. Those LTRs did not break down because of any interpersonal problems with my exes, they broke down because of completely unrelated issues (the first one was because my ex was not able to get on with my children from another marriage and the second one was due to my ex being insanely and irrationally jealous).
 
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docilej

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I've had just the 'opposite' of this (ie, "...That's going to be a problem. I don't like small dicks...I don't want to go there again...I'm afraid I can't have sex with you..."). But I believe our solutions are the same. Lose the woman's phone number.
 

B_Nicodemous

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Ummm..
ok first off i had an incredibly long, and eloquent post, well thought out and reasoned, and the damn internet ate it. Needless to say I was irked enough (happened yesterday) to wait until today. I log in and find most of my points have been made.

So here is this instead.

Ig, I would like to point out a small discrepancy in you posts:

In respomse to milford:
Promise "just the tip"... then she'll eventually get used to the full size. And, yes, you do have a big one. That condom looks so tiny on your long dick.

you said:
Lol. I tried that trick, but she's an intelligent girl who saw through me like a window. She said she's been there before, she won't get used to it and she just prefers around about average size.

you then go on to say:
I kind of agree with Dolfette on this (and what she says about similar posts).

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that what you're suggesting would amount, in some circumstances, to rape.

Remember, this wasn't a situation where it wouldn't fit inside her or we had sex and she didn't enjoy it. She outright refused to have sex with me when we were still in the "clothes on-kissing-and-groping" stage. So, there was no question of me dipping, easing, sweet-talking, slamming or otherwise obtaining entry for my penis into her vajine.

If you knew there was no question that sex was NOT going to happen, then how and why did you try to use that (very lame) line of "just the tip"

In your second quote (which i snipped for brevity) you go on to say that sshe may have been able to accommodate you, and how you know the tricks and techniques to get to that level of accommodation.

Yet in that pattern of thinking, you seem to be failing to grasp that perhaps she knows for a FACT that even if she could accommodate you, it may NEVER be without pain and discomfort. Add to that the fact that you don't see her a commitment material, and I have to wonder why you would be so baffled as to why she wouldn't want to try to go through what for her would be a uncomfortable to painful experience. As we have seen, most women seem to be saying that they would only even consider that if the guy was someone worth staying around (commitment wise) for some time. You keep coming across as someone who is just pissed that he won't be able to dip his wick.

Now, as i don't know you, I could be mistaken. I hope I am. I am just pointing out that some of your posts, when taken as a whole by people who DO read an entire thread, CAN tend to paint you in a rather unflattering light.

I will offer some advice. You need to be flat out honest with her about things. That you do NOT have long convos with firends or a slew of texts or whatever. ou need to be honest about that point, as if you DO in fac engage in those behaviours with "just friends" I can gaurntee that she will find out and call you on your shit. If you don't, however, then tell her. Let her know that while you enjoy er company, you wan it to progress at some point to a deeper physical level. You don't have to lie about you want a committed monogamous relationship, just put on the table that a FwB stage, or longterm dating, is a no go in your book without sex. Explain that you respect her choices and reasons for not wanting to have sex with you due to your endowment nad her past experience with such. Let her know, though, that your need for physical intiacy should also be acknowledged and that since the two of you are not going to be able to achieve that, that both of you need to give up the ghost (yes BOTH! you are encouraging her by NOT being honest.)

Come to some agreement that if the two of you are to be friends then there are some things that sould be avoided, so as not to blur the lines. Discuss that you both will be seeing other people and that if jealousy comes in to play in the friendship, that a dissolution of said friendship will have to happen.

I think you ma have more feelings for her than perhaps you are admitting. Only you know that. In fact only the two of you know whether you both can have a purely non-sexual friendship. If you cannot, then perhaps just going back to workplace acquaintances would be for the best. You would both have to deal with any sort of workplace awkwardness, but that is a consequence for fooling around with coworkers.

Best of luck. Hope I didn't sound too harsh.
 

ignatius4446z

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Ummm..
ok first off i had an incredibly long, and eloquent post, well thought out and reasoned, and the damn internet ate it. Needless to say I was irked enough (happened yesterday) to wait until today. I log in and find most of my points have been made.

So here is this instead.

Ig, I would like to point out a small discrepancy in you posts:

In respomse to milford:


you said:


you then go on to say:


If you knew there was no question that sex was NOT going to happen, then how and why did you try to use that (very lame) line of "just the tip"

In your second quote (which i snipped for brevity) you go on to say that sshe may have been able to accommodate you, and how you know the tricks and techniques to get to that level of accommodation.

Yet in that pattern of thinking, you seem to be failing to grasp that perhaps she knows for a FACT that even if she could accommodate you, it may NEVER be without pain and discomfort. Add to that the fact that you don't see her a commitment material, and I have to wonder why you would be so baffled as to why she wouldn't want to try to go through what for her would be a uncomfortable to painful experience.

Best of luck. Hope I didn't sound too harsh.


Not harsh. You seem, unlike others, to appreciate the difference between criticism and insult.

1. I think that perhaps you are reading a little too much into things. Perhaps it is because I merely gave a summary of what happened between me and her in a conversation that lasted maybe the best part of 20 mins.

Here's how it went. We were making out, both fully clothed and she reached down to my crotch and groped my by now semi-erect penis through my jeans (which were quite loose fitting). She sort of stopped kissing me and but carried on squeezing it along its length. By then I think it was fully erect. She kind of drew back and put her head on my chest and said either, "You have a really big dick" or "Do you have a really big dick?" (I can't quite remember exactly, as I was a bit drunk). I asked her what she considered big and she said, "Anything over about 7 inches". I told her I was bigger than that - a tiny little bit over 8", and quite girthy as well. She said "That is going to be a problem. I don't like big dicks. I have been there before with a well-hung guy and it hurts. I don't want to do it again. We can't have sex with each other".

I talked to her and said that perhaps that guy was inconsiderate or inexperienced and didn't know how to use what he had properly. I said that I'm not like that - we could take it very easy, use lots of lube, just put it in a little bit at a time until she was used to it etc. She said, "No. I know what I am like and I will tear. You're not just long, but thick as well, so it just won't work. I'm very small down there and you're not, and we just need to accept that it can't happen."

We talked about it along those lines for a while, but then when it became clear she was not going to be persuaded, I let it drop.

2. I am of the opinion that even despite a certain level of discomfort, sex can be enjoyable. My last ex used to complain of soreness after sex, both from girth-based friction and length-based pokery, but she also said she had never experienced that incredible feeling of fullness before or had such deep-seated and intense (probably CDS) orgasms. Likewise, I would get sore, but I still wanted, in fact craved, sex with her, to the point where we would both need to take a few days off in order to let the splits and rawness heal.

So, in my view, the two things are not mutually destructive. Pleasure is possible despite the pain, and in fact, the source of the increased discomfort (the extra size) is also the source of the increased pleasure.

However, she either (a) knows her own body well enough to know that in her case the pain will overwhelm and blot out the pleasure, or (b) she doesn't believe/trust me. And I respect her opinion. It is her body and her experiences are what they are, and there is nothing I can do to make her change her mind if she can't or won't change it.

3. I am not baffled by the fact that she doesn't want to have sex with me. I can see exactly why she doesn't want it. What I am confused by is the fact that although she has made it clear that we can't have a sexual relationship and we should just remain as friends, she is continuing to and increasingly treating me like I am her boyfriend or potential boyfriend in the way she interacts with me, principally in the number and tone of her texts/calls. A woman who just wants to be friends with you doesn't contact you a dozen times a day every day, she doesn't get pissed off and say "Well, when can I next see you?" when you tell her you are busy at the weekend, she doesn't call or text to say goodnight every evening.

Don't get me wrong. It I am not annoyed by the texts themselves - I like communicating with her. She is funny, clever and interesting and she is receptive to my humour and outlook on life. What bothers me is that we are interacting pretty much like bf and gf, but we both know we cannot be bf and gf. I don't want to tell her to stop contacting me so often because (a) I enjoy the texts (not the calls so much, but that is just one of my quirks), (b) I don't want to hurt her feelings, (c) I am wondering if perhaps she is considering changing her mind and giving it (sex) a go with me.
 
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Guy-jin

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1. If you had read the thread properly, then you would have noticed that things were going fine until somebody decided to make a snide comment along the lines of "you're obviously not too high up the evolutionary scale", in response to a silly throw-away remark I had made. I suppose I should be used to that by now, as forums do tend to act as asshole-magnets and so people who IRL wouldn't say boo to a goose and/or who need to feel some sort of personal validation by being a swaggering bigshot in cyberspace make remarks that are rude, aggressive and provocative. I actually think it is rather pathetic that people do that, especially when 99 times out of 100 they wouldn't dare do it if you were in the room with them, because they know they'd most likely end up picking their teeth up off the carpet.

Anyway, I digress - the comment that person made referred to a character in a book which happens to be one of my all-time favourites. So I responded in the idiosyncratic style of that fictional character (who is pompous, but farcically and hilariously so) - in fact, I think my responses were actually direct quotes from the book. If you didn't get the reference, and it seems that you didn't, then perhaps that is why you concluded erroneously that I am pompous.

Actually, I could level that same accusation (and a few other choice epithets) at some of the people who have responded to this thread, but I haven't, or my responses have been limited, because I generally prefer to ignore such people rather than giving them the oxygen of publicity.
Just to be clear, I read "A Confederacy of Dunces" when I was 15. I can't say that, after so much time, I remember every detail of it. But I have read it, and I did realize that you and Stretch were playing handball with quotes from it.

I won't bother with cherry-picking where in your posts I thought you may have come across as an asshole to some people. I'm simply telling you what I see--there are elements to your posts that could easily be misconstrued that way, and that's where the "hate" is coming from.

Also, I totally agree other people are being dicks here. No doubt. But unlike them, you're actually posting something of substance, so I addressed you and ignored them.

2. I think I only mentioned IQ once, and that was simply to rebut that person's claim that I was some sort of knuckle-dragger. So, when you say "I can't really fathom another reason [other than insecurity] you'd actually go so far as explaining how high your IQ is", what you mean is "I can't fathom another reason because (a) I haven't read the thread properly, or (b) it doesn't suit my argument to acknowledge that reason."
Well, don't. It's petty and meaningless. Oh, and I can fathom another reason, but I didn't want to be overtly offensive. But here it is: You're unable or unwilling to demonstrate your intelligence and use quoting an IQ to defend yourself against attacks from other plebs. I hope that will change and you'll demonstrate your wit and intelligence rather than quoting a number in the future.

Also, you can leave the "you haven't read the thread properly" defense at the door. It serves no purpose than to mindlessly disqualify things I'm saying without actually weighing their substance. I've read the whole thing and understood it, and I'd appreciate if you gave me at least the modicum of respect I've showed you by taking your thread seriously.

Anyhoo - I could have made the same point by reeling off my academics and some highlights from my CV, but I didn't, because that would involve disclosing personal information from which, if someone who happens to know me read this thread, they could deduce my identity.
Again, that isn't necessary. I've never listed my CV here. I've never quoted my IQ. There's no point in doing so even if it weren't a risk of exposing personal information because it is, again, meaningless.

Anyway, it was an off-hand comment by you, and my off-hand remark is: Not impressed. If some nobody calls you a "knuckle-dragger", what difference does stating your IQ do besides making yourself feel better? None. (And that's why I said it reflects some sort of insecurity.)

It is others who have seemingly been so put out by me having the temerity to defend myself who have made a number of references to that remark, so again, you are in error when you accuse me of bringing it up "often".
If you say so. I read the whole thread, and what struck me is: 1) Your original story seemed to be pointless (actually, it struck me as fictitious, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because it doesn't really lose me anything to do so); 2) You were rubbing people the wrong way and eliciting trollish responses with trollish responses; 3) You were "defending yourself" from people who didn't even deserve responses in the first place.

Look, I'm not calling you an asshole. I said you're coming across as a pompous asshole. It happens. You can say I "didn't read the posts" or you can take it at face value and try to see what I'm seeing and how you might avoid it in the future if you care to. Doesn't really matter to me.

3. I am not sure where you get the idea that I "don't really care about this girl unless she's willing to put out".
Okay, then let me point out where that came from:

Yep. Exactly. When she phones I sometimes feel like picking the call up and yelling, "Stop calling me! I'm not your boyfriend, because, as you may have noticed, boyfriends usually get to have sex with their girlfriends!"

But I don't. I usually ignore the call and then text back a few mins later.
You literally say here that you're basically feeling like you don't want to be her boyfriend unless she puts out.

It's just the opposite in fact. I really like her, and I have made that pretty clear. She is just the sort of person I would want to have a relationship with, although at the moment I don't want a deep commitment (and neither, for that matter, does she).

And that is the frustrating thing. I like her, I am attracted to her both physically and intellectually and I enjoy our friendship, and she likes everything about me apart from my penis. I don't see it as an affront that she doesn't (to quote yet another of the nasty little jumped-up broadband bullies on this thread) "bow down and worship my cock" - I just find it incredibly frustrating that as a result of this issue, we seem to be stuck in a sort of hinterland where we are a bit more than friends, but a bit less than lovers.
Earlier you also said:
No, it's not going to lead to a serious relationship. She's gorgeous looking, she has an amazing body and I really like her company. I look forward to her texts, but less so her phone calls, cos Oh. My. God, can she talk, and I'm a typical guy who likes his phone calls short and functional ("who are you, what do you want, when are we meeting, ok see you later"). She's clever, funny and interesting, and it's a bonus that we can talk about the funnies and frustrations of our niche profession without the need for explanation, but neither of us are looking for love.

I've just come out of a very intense 2 year love affair that ended acrimoniously and there are bazillions of other things going on in my life that would make a deep commitment impossible, so I don't want and can't have a serious relationship right now. But most of all, I know I won't fall in love with her. Don't ask me why. I just know. The two women I've been in love with, I couldn't stop thinking about them almost from the moment I met them, but that's not happening with her.
Here you literally say you don't want a relationship with her. Sure, you like her well enough, but you're not interested in a relationship.

Nowhere here are you expressing that you really care about her. You say that you like her, but that's about you. That's kind of telling.

But if we assume you do care about her then the comments about how you "won't fall in love with her" are reflecting issues with you. Why won't you fall in love with her? (Oh right, "don't ask.") Well, you don't have to answer. But I mean, there's either more to it than the sex or there isn't. You're saying sex is a deal-breaker, but you're not acting on that.

You say she doesn't want a relationship, but she's treating you like you're in a relationship. In a sense, she may be using you to fill a void for herself. The real problem is that you're not really stuck in the same hinterland together. You're fulfilling a role she wants you to fulfill--a quasi-boyfriend with no strings or sexual issues. That's what she seems to want. But what you want is a fuck-buddy (somebody you like a lot who you also get to fuck but who you don't care about at a relationship level), which is contrary to what she wants.

4. There is nothing "up" with me per se because I have had two LTRs that broke down, which is what you seem to imply. That is an absolutely enormous and erroneous assumption to add to the other misinterpretations and mistakes of fact you have made in your post. Those LTRs did not break down because of any interpersonal problems with my exes, they broke down because of completely unrelated issues (the first one was because my ex was not able to get on with my children from another marriage and the second one was due to my ex being insanely and irrationally jealous).
Well, let's not get it twisted: I'm not saying those relationships broke down because of you. I'm also not trying to make you feel bad for it, so if I did, I'm sorry. Rather, that having a few LTRs break down can cause internal problems with relationships for anyone that may be why you're insisting you "won't fall in love with her." (And I'm sure you're immediately thinking, "No, that's not right!" and want to tell me exactly how I'm wrong. To that, I would preemptively answer: If you say so.)

What I'm trying to say is that I think this girl may be trying to take advantage of you (probably unconsciously). You want to be in a place where you can have casual sex with a girl you're really into without a serious relationship, but she's shoehorning you into a place where you're all that without the sex, which she doesn't want. Seriously, I don't think any of it has to do with the size of your dick. Regardless, that's fine for her to feel that way, but it's not fine to be stringing you along (whether it's intentional or not).

That's why I was advising you to either be willing to wait for the sex (because it seems like you basically have the other components of a relationship ready to go whether you like it or not) or to tell her to make a decision about being your g/f or not and that sex in some form has to be a part of that for you (if that's the case, which it seems to be). At this point, though, it seems like you are thinking more about yourself than her, and she's thinking more about herself than you. And at least one of you isn't getting what you want. And you're trying (albeit not overly successfully) not to give her what she wants all the time either (how you don't pick up the phone and such). It's not going to end well if it keeps going down that path, so the path has to change.
 
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