Grammar Police (What ticks you off?)

Novaboy

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Aye folk are aye correcting my grammar purely cos they dinnae Ken wit I'm saying..... I'm fae fookin Scotland, its oor national tongue and if yae dinnae like it then stop being a eejit and fook aff back tae England.

My partner spoke Doric until he came to Canada at the age of 10! Makes perfect sense to me!
 

Fuzzy_

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"English grammar in use" by Raimond Murphy explains that less should be used for uncountable nouns or for everything that is abstract, whereas fewer is for countable nouns, as you indicated. However, in the everyday language it's not rare to come across less for any kind of nouns.

Fuzzy's rules (ignore at your peril):

  1. Use fewer for things you can count; use less for everything else.
  2. User farther for distances you can measure; use further for everything else.
 
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1345864

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Aye folk are aye correcting my grammar purely cos they dinnae Ken wit I'm saying..... I'm fae fookin Scotland, its oor national tongue and if yae dinnae like it then stop being a eejit and fook aff back tae England.
I love the Scottish burr, I think it's badass.
 

Fuzzy_

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Not necessarily ungrammatical, but some southern contractions are... interesting:

Fuzzy's two favorites:

Y'all'd've: You (all) would have.

You'dn't've: You (all) would not have.

Although, Fuzzy suspects that these aren't too common.

Supposed southern tripthongs are also interesting, like pronouncing "cure" as "kee-oo--uh", or /kjʊər/
 

FRE

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I'm thinking it's "two holes in one?" Probably not a commonly used expression.

Twice my uncle got a hole in one. Therefore, he got two holes in one during his golfing career. I'm sure he used the expression at least several times.
 
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Khegan

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Not necessarily ungrammatical, but some southern contractions are... interesting:

Fuzzy's two favorites:

Y'all'd've: You (all) would have.

You'dn't've: You (all) would not have.

Although, Fuzzy suspects that these aren't too common.

Supposed southern tripthongs are also interesting, like pronouncing "cure" as "kee-oo--uh", or /kjʊər/

Some other southern contractions

Ya'ant to = Do you want to
Djeet = Did you eat

Actual conversation I've heard:
A: Djeet yet?
B: Nah. Ya'ant to?
C: Aight.
 
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1345864

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Some other southern contractions

Ya'ant to = Do you want to
Djeet = Did you eat

Actual conversation I've heard:
A: Djeet yet?
B: Nah. Ya'ant to?
C: Aight.
Oh I don't know. I think some Southern accents and contractions are charming in their own way. Some are even kinda funny.

Some of my favorites:

Widjadidja: You didn't bring that wrench widjadidja?
Emerson: Emerson pretty big balls on ya, feller!
Mayonnaise: Mayonnaise got some good eatin' here!
Ratcheer: I got yer keys ratcheer, mister!
 

Khegan

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Oh I don't know. I think some Southern accents and contractions are charming in their own way. Some are even kinda funny.

Some of my favorites:

Widjadidja: You didn't bring that wrench widjadidja?
Emerson: Emerson pretty big balls on ya, feller!
Mayonnaise: Mayonnaise got some good eatin' here!
Ratcheer: I got yer keys ratcheer, mister!

Oh yeah. I think some of them are fine. Where I am you don't hear too many unintelligible ones, but they do pop up every now and then. Where the accent and contractions/expressions are so bad that you usually have to ask them to repeat, sometimes more than once.
 
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FRE

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Some other southern contractions

Ya'ant to = Do you want to
Djeet = Did you eat

Actual conversation I've heard:
A: Djeet yet?
B: Nah. Ya'ant to?
C: Aight.

Way back in 1975 I was on a business trip to Ahoskie, NC and shortly afterward to Cofield, NC. I stayed for five consecutive weeks in a motel in Cofield; it was owned by a black fraternal organization. It was the nicest and most convenient place to stay in the area and no one cared that I was white even though I was sometimes the only white person in the motel dining room. Everyone was very friendly. Many blacks in that area spoke a dialect which was completely unintelligible to me. Some could speak and understand both that dialect or standard Southern English, but some could understand only dialect. The grammar used along with the Southern English was different from what I am accustomed to.

Although I do use standard grammar myself and refuse to use "healthy" when "healthful" should be used, I'm disinclined to make a big issue of it.

I wonder whether language, dialects, and grammar have changed there since then. After all, that was 45 years ago.
 

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ActionBuddy

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As a resident of Washington State, I find it appalling when someone mispronounces Washington as "WaRshington"... Especially, if they actually live here.

As well as "warsh", instead of "wash"... "I gotta warsh the car."... "I need to warsh the laundry."... Heard way too frequently!... Where the hell did that come from?... Massachusetts?

It's right up there on my Cringe-List, along side of saying, "libary" instead of "library", and "ax" instead of "ask".

A/B
 
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FRE

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As a resident of Washington State, I find it appalling when someone mispronounces Washington as "WaRshington"... Especially, if they actually live here.

As well as "warsh", instead of "wash"... "I gotta warsh the car."... "I need to warsh the laundry."... Heard way too frequently!... Where the hell did that come from?... Massachusetts?

It's right up there on my Cringe-List, along side of saying, "libary" instead of "library", and "ax" instead of "ask".

A/B

The British say libry and militry. The drop syllables from other words too.
 

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I've lived in a lot of places throughout the US and some of the regional stuff is either funny as hell, or just grates on my nerves. I was born in Florida, and my mother said: "warsh" instead of wash. I was always asking her where the R was in that word. A lot of my family still lives there, so I hear "y'all" frequently when I talk to them. I grew up in Western Pennsylvania and the "yunz" and "yinz" drives me crazy. There is also the strange pronunciation of downtown as dahntahn. Figuring out how to spell it is making me laugh. I lived there from 6 to 26 and people would never know it because I never used the dialect.

I lived in Seattle for three years and one of the common things I heard was when people refer to their parents. Instead of parents, it was parenteses. Every time I heard someone say it, I heard Gollum in my head saying "Sneaky little hobbitses!"
 

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Where I grew up, "creek" was pronounced "Crik" and "roof" was pronounced "ruff" or something like that. I've always endeavored to avoid regional pronunciations.

Usages vary too. In Minnesota and some other places in the midwest, a multi-level parking structure is called a parking ramp. In many places of the country if you asked where the parking ramp is people would have no idea what you are talking about.
 
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