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Great Conversation

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hey everyone,

so me and my friends had this discussion join on earlier about what makes a great conversation and what are certain social skills or cues you gradually learn over time. Either it be in a situation where you barely know the person or even if you've known the person your whole life. I think one of the obvious big conversation killer is someone that talks way to fast/slow and who seems to abandon conversation by letting em drop. What do you guys think?
 

shr1125

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Careful pacing, intonation, smart vocabulary, dynamic and balanced views on the subject at hand.

I agree completely.

I'd add that a willingness to have a conversation must exist in both parties as well. Too often, I've been stuck on a long-distance car ride with someone who's not interested in talking. Miserable. Regardless of how much I tried to engage them in a conversation, I got nothing in return.

SHR
 

Daichii

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Posture. Quick glances. Short sentences. Check phone. Look left right like waiting for someone. Squint like in disgust. Check phone. Progress with back turned. Walk away.
 

wintry_mix

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intuitive grasp of structure between the participants, ability to communicate novel ideas through the crisp use of analogy, the acknowledgment/acceptance of whether the particular conversation will be based on building consensus or adversarial back-and-forth (even if friendly)
 

wintry_mix

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say what you will about the focused jerkiness of christopher hitchens and some of his really annoying political stances in the past. he has always been a talented enough writer and contrarian that his columns are must reads, not to mention his abilities behind the podium. now that he is battling cancer, his pieces have taken on a wholly different tone. his article last may in vanity fair, in which he discusses losing his voice, is an amazing piece of writing. in particular, though, he talks about no longer being able to hold conversations with friends. i read it only shortly after posting in this thread, and was surprised by its relevance.
 

hung

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I support Hung Jon's reply.

Everyone has an opinion on a few subjects. I enjoy a great discussion with most anyone.
 

ConanTheBarber

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The one essential is intense interest in the person you're talking to.
People are not all of equal interest but, that said, you can become interested in anyone. And that interest is conveyed. And soon, the person will start saying some remarkable things that you wouldn't have expected to hear.
Not always.
But very often, this works.
And the intense focus you give to the other person actually will relax you.
 

rbkwp

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Face to Face is the ultimate i feel, in regards to conversation / communication
all other forms leads to so many variables / confusion
(i have found - obviously not practical) but we all do our best huh?
enz
 

umami_tsunami

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Listening carefully = sine qua non of good conversation. I have trained myself to listen carefully. I don't waste time in conversation with those that do not make an effort to reciprocate.

Other important contributors to great conversation: wit, intelligent diction, eye contact, enunciation, enthusiasm.