Green Lights That You're Into It.

[spaj8987]

What are some green lights that you're into another person flirting with you?

I'm notorious for not getting hidden messages (or what seems like hidden messages because i can't spot them personally). Which left me pretty ignorant when it comes to flirting. How to flirt, what flirting is and telling the difference between someone being into me and not being into me.

Don't get me wrong. That's within context. Anything other than a woman flat out telling me we should go on a date or that we should fuck is one thing. And anything less than me flat out saying we should date or fuck is also beyond me.

Needless to say. I'm not a smooth guy. I can communicate pretty practically while in a relationship now that i've worked on a certain number of my flaws but flirting and noticing flirting still kind of confuses me.

So what are some signs other than flat out saying you're into a person are there? Say someone is flirting with you, what are some of your personals signs that signify you're into or not into them?

Oh and this goes for man on man, woman on woman, woman on man, man on woman, trans on man, man on trans, trans on woman, woman on trans. No one is left out of this question or can't answer.

 

[marriedasian]

i'll tell you this... unless you're still in high-school, i would just safely carry the conversation in a normal manner without crossing lines into creeper territory then when you feel confident enough, just come out and ask if they're interested for whatever. especially if you're meeting someone new for the first time. if someone doesn't want to continue with you they will make an excuse to end the conversation or bring out their phone and give that thing more attention than you. that's a surefire sign to bid them a good day and walk away.

there's no science or trick to this. i wish people would stop making this all a game... be confident in yourself, don't be needy, and always be willing to walk away. make them come to you. it's how i've always done it my entire life. there's too much shit to do in life than worry about chasing ass... trust me when i say ass is the easiest thing to get (once you get it)... i can name off at least half a dozen thing that takes more work and time than learning the art of flirting.

 

[spaj8987]

i'll tell you this... unless you're still in high-school, i would just safely carry the conversation in a normal manner without crossing lines into creeper territory then when you feel confident enough, just come out and ask if they're interested for whatever. especially if you're meeting someone new for the first time. if someone doesn't want to continue with you they will make an excuse to end the conversation or bring out their phone and give that thing more attention than you. that's a surefire sign to bid them a good day and walk away.

there's no science or trick to this. i wish people would stop making this all a game... be confident in yourself, don't be needy, and always be willing to walk away. make them come to you. it's how i've always done it my entire life. there's too much shit to do in life than worry about chasing ass... trust me when i say ass is the easiest thing to get (once you get it)... i can name off at least half a dozen thing that takes more work and time than learning the art of flirting.

Thanks for the input.

 

[halcyondays]

From my experience flirting isn't a green light.

One of the first things I learned as a young man is that flirting doesn't necessarily mean anything. Female or male, flirting is first and foremost an ego boost. It makes people feel attractive and sexy. It releases dopamine in the pleasure center of the brain. That's why it feels good especially if you like the person flirting with you. It doesn't mean someone wants to go to bed with or even date you.

Plenty of married/committed people flirt outside their relationships with no intention of hooking up. Flirting is an art all its own.

In my experience those who want to go out with me don't flirt. They insert themselves into my life until I ask them out.

 

[spaj8987]

From my experience flirting isn't a green light.

One of the first things I learned as a young man is that flirting doesn't necessarily mean anything. Female or male, flirting is first and foremost an ego boost. It makes people feel attractive and sexy. It releases dopamine in the pleasure center of the brain. That's why it feels good especially if you like the person flirting with you. It doesn't mean someone wants to go to bed with or even date you.

Plenty of married/committed people flirt outside their relationships with no intention of hooking up. Flirting is an art all its own.

In my experience those who want to go out with me don't flirt. They insert themselves into my life until I ask them out.

Thanks for the input. Though i didn't look at flirting like it was a game or a green light to sex. Just what people's green lights are on nonverbal...yeah i'm into you. As i'm much more of a straight forward i like you wanna blank. Sort of guy.

The odds of me being that these days is extremely slim. Though with other flirting threads i have noticed i suck big old balls when it comes to being subtle with it.

(In my experience those who want to go out with me don't flirt. They insert themselves into my life until I ask them out.)

And in my very limited experience...those who wanted to go out..didn't flirt at all. Every last woman i've ever been with either kind of just happened or things happened and they asked me out. I've flat out never asked a woman out cold turkey. So have little clue on how to do so subtly.

It's weird too because i've had problems in relationships with people thinking i was flirting. I don't know. Still pretty lost. Anyway, just was asking about possible cues other people give that they are in fact into the person flirting with them. Thanks again though for the good points.

 

[4301491]

The best green light that I receive is a light touch on the elbow. Fun and light conversations with women can happen anytime and be pretty meaningless, like halcyondays said above--just good fun. But when the woman I'm talking to makes a quick, light touch on the elbow or forearm...that's a little sign that you can take another step.

I like to give a little nudge with my forearm on her arm or knee as a cue from me. Just a playful little gesture that's only meant to send a signal in that moment.

 

[halcyondays]

And in my very limited experience...those who wanted to go out..didn't flirt at all. Every last woman i've ever been with either kind of just happened or things happened and they asked me out. I've flat out never asked a woman out cold turkey. So have little clue on how to do so subtly.

IMO "it just kind of happened" means the ladies who slept with you made it happen and you let it happen. They didn't risk rejection or sounding creepy by asking you directly. Nor did you risk the same by asking them directly.

Unless you know the woman flirting with you is in a committed relationship, ask her out. As the old basketball saying goes you'll never make shots you don't take. My lifetime rejection ratio for asking out women is something like 20 to 1. I don't take it personally. It's the only way to find out.

I can't tell if flirting means more than we're having fun of flirting unless I ask.

It's weird too because i've had problems in relationships with people thinking i was flirting.

What does this mean?

 

[spaj8987]

The best green light that I receive is a light touch on the elbow. Fun and light conversations with women can happen anytime and be pretty meaningless, like halcyondays said above--just good fun. But when the woman I'm talking to makes a quick, light touch on the elbow or forearm...that's a little sign that you can take another step.

I like to give a little nudge with my forearm on her arm or knee as a cue from me. Just a playful little gesture that's only meant to send a signal in that moment.

Thanks for the awesome input.

IMO "it just kind of happened" means the ladies who slept with you made it happen and you let it happen. They didn't risk rejection or sounding creepy by asking you directly. Nor did you risk the same by asking them directly.

Unless you know the woman flirting with you is in a committed relationship, ask her out. As the old basketball saying goes you'll never make shots you don't take. My lifetime rejection ratio for asking out women is something like 20 to 1. I don't take it personally. It's the only way to find out.

I can't tell if flirting means more than we're having fun of flirting unless I ask.



What does this mean?

Awesome advice as far as i can tell. Thank you. Oh and it means an ex once thought i was hitting on someone from me talking to them. I didn't think i was flirting but it damned near ended our relationship on the spot. So now i just evaluate that i have no idea how to. Since i thought i was just being friendly.

You are correct though. Neither i nor they took any risks. Might try to one day. Not in the position to do so now since i have much more head work to do but one day. But yeah, i suck at subtle confirmation cues.

 

[halcyondays]

Oh and it means an ex once thought i was hitting on someone from me talking to them. I didn't think i was flirting but it damned near ended our relationship on the spot.

Jealousy reared it's ugly head!