Greeting Cards

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Pitbull, Aug 9, 2009.

  1. Pitbull

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
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    My tire was thumping.
    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!



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    Heard your wife left you,
    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.




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    Looking back over the years

    that we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"




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    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.




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    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?




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    I've always wanted to have
    someone to hold,

    someone to love.

    After having met you ..

    I've changed my mind.




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    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.




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    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.




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    Congratulations on your promotion.
    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.




    ************************************************** ******************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)




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    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!




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    When we were together,
    you always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.




    //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    We have been friends for a very long time ..

    let's say we stop?




    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

    I 'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.




    ================================================== ===

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?




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    Your friends and I wanted to do

    something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep.




    )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


    So your daughter's a hooker,
    and it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    it's really good pay
     
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