Grindr Confession

gtjohndoe

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Confession time: I once ...... okay I had a few hook up appointment that once I meet them I said no them and walked away ....BUT the reason is because they catfished me.
I am like dude if you coming and you don't look anything like the pic l,What you expect for me to do?

If you are planning to meet someone don't catfish them and get upset when they close the door on you
 

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Confession time: I once ...... okay I had a few hook up appointment that once I meet them I said no them and walked away ....BUT the reason is because they catfished me.
I am like dude if you coming and you don't look anything like the pic l,What you expect for me to do?

If you are planning to meet someone don't catfish them and get upset when they close the door on you

I completely agree with this. They're lying and your consent is yours to give throughout the sexual encounter, so if they come and you are not feeling it - they need to hit the door!

I wish I did that when I was catfished and still went through with it when I was a young'un, so I applaud you for teaching people they can't expect to get very far when they're lying.
 

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You certainly have the right to fo that. I think some guys have had one too many pic collectors hit them. Not excusing why they do it.

It happens in all sites I think. I know I've met some women who didn't look like their pics. They were older pics I guess.

It happens and you do what you felt comfortable doing.
 
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It's weird to me because i would have my pictures on my profile and even a social media handle linked to my account, so when I would be asked to show more photos, I would block them because I assumed they were picture collectors. I have walked away from a catfish more than once and I didn't feel bad about it.
 

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Yeah...I've flat out turned guys down in person. It isn't that I'm turning down older or heavier guys (heck no - my tastes are wide and varied), but if you are lying about what you look like, what else might you be lying about?

One guy used pictures that HAD to be at least 25 years out of date. Another guy had obviously used someone else's pic. Nope. Now I'm not rude about it (as much as I might want to be) and will always say, "I'm sorry but I was expecting someone else." Or something to that effect.

On the other end, I've also been pleasantly surprised by guys who's pics were unflattering. Those are the ones that are pretty cool. Also those guys tend to be a bit more shy.
 

drainedmt

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I used to have very few responses to my account.

I'd get more reponses with a black square than with my face shot (how's that for a confidence builder?). Or I would just get spam.

The other week I had a guy send me a pic. I don't have a photographic memory but I have a decent one. I replied, "didn't we meet like a decade ago?" (He was using an old pic). I went down just to check him out and it was the same guy, a decade removed. I wasn't interested. He then loitered for a bit and then messaged me to tell me he hooked up with my neighbor as a "your loss" jab. I don't think he did, and that behavior was way odd.

Another timeItime had a guy send me a photo that was at least 25 years old. I could tell it was '90s because he had big '90s hair and was wearing Dockers. He said it was his "only photo." Still I was curious what he looked like, imagining he would be still handsome but now older. He looked nothing like his former self. I politely asked around the corner with him and told him I wasn't interested.

I have been having tons of people look at my profile during the pandemic (I guess it's all relative -- I'd say 50 a day). I remember my old co-worker, who was decently attractive but white and lived in Weho, said he would have hundreds of messages daily. I think he got more in a day than I would in a year.

I never initiate with someone. I used to message guys and give compliments like "nice eyes" or "cute dog" but would automatically get blocked for doing so (I never had any expectations of meeting, I was just being nice) and that obliterated my sense of self-worth. I *might* tap if I find a guy my type who has looked at my profile first, but even that's rare.

Thus I'm super puzzled by who initiate with me and when I reply "hi" they ghost me. It happens pretty much every other day.

But keep reading for the weirdest Grindr story ever...
 

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This is the most insane Grindr story. I wish I took screengrabs because it could be a reality TV show.

So last week this super attractive guy hits me up. Guys who do usually are spammers or hookers so I don't give them any credence.

But this guy was being pretty chatty and engaging. He says he's new to Grindr = red flag. He's never done anything with guys = another red flag. He says he's 18 and just out of high school = super massive red flag.

I was suspicious but he shared a lot about himself, his family, and his feelings. He gave me his full name etc. He wanted to meet and for me to be his first = super duper massive red flag. I told him no but was happy to give him advice for having sex for the first time etc.

So we chat a lot more over the next few nights. He shows me photos of guys who he says want to have sex with him. These are other super hot guys (insta model types) which only makes me wonder why he's even engaging with me. I'm happy to give him advice but I'm wary.

So I Google the real name he gave me. Nothing. But he's just 18 so I figure he has a minimal web presence. But then I realize that his school had a virtual graduation due to the pandemic. It's a public video, so I check it out. All the seniors names are read in alphabetical order. He's not among them. I scan all the faces. There are some guys who resemble him, but none are him.

Keep in mind he's offering all this info on him. He says he played a specific sport. He's not on the roster. However, when I ask him about one of the star players, he seems to know who he is. I throw out the principal's name. He is able to identify him quickly but maybe he did a quick Google search.

More days pass. We're still chatting and I'm giving him advice. I know he's talking to other guys, and I warn him that some are liars and some are even fake profiles. But he seems hung up on one guy, let's call him D, and even sends me D's profile. D seems normal and attractive (not insanely hot like the probably fake insta models). He has researched D and says he's legit.

So the next day we continue our conversation. But now the 18 yo reveals that he had sex with D. He's in really bad shape physically and mentally; things got out of hand and he was assaulted. I am concerned. I offer my support as we walk through his physical injuries and what to do with them. Then I walk through his feelings (I'm not a therapist but I've had training). He shows me texts D has sent him. They're alarming. Ultimately we agree he should go to the hospital and not see D, even though D is trying to get with him using all these lures that ironically, I warned him about early on.

The next day I check in. He's better, thankfully. He apologizes to me, saying he wishes he listened to me more. I'm admittedly invested now. He's gone from seeking advice to seeking help. But I can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. I believe the whole incident with D happened. But technically, this 18yo doesn't exist. He wasn't in the commencement, he wasn't on the sports team he says he was. He's not real, but he's telling me about real situations.

So I ask point blank are you real? He says yes, but all signs point to no. I then present him evidence and he ghosts. Disappears.

I just don't understand why he came for me. At several points I thought I was being catfished but he never asked for pics etc. But he doesn't exist (I further confirmed this). I just don't get it. Why craft such an elaborate lie and get nothing out of it except advice.

I'm still perplexed.
 

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This is the most insane Grindr story. I wish I took screengrabs because it could be a reality TV show.

So last week this super attractive guy hits me up. Guys who do usually are spammers or hookers so I don't give them any credence.

But this guy was being pretty chatty and engaging. He says he's new to Grindr = red flag. He's never done anything with guys = another red flag. He says he's 18 and just out of high school = super massive red flag.

I was suspicious but he shared a lot about himself, his family, and his feelings. He gave me his full name etc. He wanted to meet and for me to be his first = super duper massive red flag. I told him no but was happy to give him advice for having sex for the first time etc.

So we chat a lot more over the next few nights. He shows me photos of guys who he says want to have sex with him. These are other super hot guys (insta model types) which only makes me wonder why he's even engaging with me. I'm happy to give him advice but I'm wary.

So I Google the real name he gave me. Nothing. But he's just 18 so I figure he has a minimal web presence. But then I realize that his school had a virtual graduation due to the pandemic. It's a public video, so I check it out. All the seniors names are read in alphabetical order. He's not among them. I scan all the faces. There are some guys who resemble him, but none are him.

Keep in mind he's offering all this info on him. He says he played a specific sport. He's not on the roster. However, when I ask him about one of the star players, he seems to know who he is. I throw out the principal's name. He is able to identify him quickly but maybe he did a quick Google search.

More days pass. We're still chatting and I'm giving him advice. I know he's talking to other guys, and I warn him that some are liars and some are even fake profiles. But he seems hung up on one guy, let's call him D, and even sends me D's profile. D seems normal and attractive (not insanely hot like the probably fake insta models). He has researched D and says he's legit.

So the next day we continue our conversation. But now the 18 yo reveals that he had sex with D. He's in really bad shape physically and mentally; things got out of hand and he was assaulted. I am concerned. I offer my support as we walk through his physical injuries and what to do with them. Then I walk through his feelings (I'm not a therapist but I've had training). He shows me texts D has sent him. They're alarming. Ultimately we agree he should go to the hospital and not see D, even though D is trying to get with him using all these lures that ironically, I warned him about early on.

The next day I check in. He's better, thankfully. He apologizes to me, saying he wishes he listened to me more. I'm admittedly invested now. He's gone from seeking advice to seeking help. But I can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. I believe the whole incident with D happened. But technically, this 18yo doesn't exist. He wasn't in the commencement, he wasn't on the sports team he says he was. He's not real, but he's telling me about real situations.

So I ask point blank are you real? He says yes, but all signs point to no. I then present him evidence and he ghosts. Disappears.

I just don't understand why he came for me. At several points I thought I was being catfished but he never asked for pics etc. But he doesn't exist (I further confirmed this). I just don't get it. Why craft such an elaborate lie and get nothing out of it except advice.

I'm still perplexed.

That's crazy.
 
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I'd get more reponses with a black square than with my face shot (how's that for a confidence builder?). Or I would just get spam.

I never initiate with someone. I used to message guys and give compliments like "nice eyes" or "cute dog" but would automatically get blocked for doing so (I never had any expectations of meeting, I was just being nice) and that obliterated my sense of self-worth. I *might* tap if I find a guy my type who has looked at my profile first, but even that's rare.

Thus I'm super puzzled by who initiate with me and when I reply "hi" they ghost me. It happens pretty much every other day.

This is me 100%, like literally exactly me. I don't use Grindr anymore. I was trying to chat with local guys but they wont even chat. I know they use it more for just hooking up but conversations and friends can happen. I never expected anyone actually wanting to hookup with me. And I was right LOL but still would welcome any if they wanted.
 

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This is the most insane Grindr story. I wish I took screengrabs because it could be a reality TV show.
...
So I ask point blank are you real? He says yes, but all signs point to no. I then present him evidence and he ghosts. Disappears.

I just don't understand why he came for me. At several points I thought I was being catfished but he never asked for pics etc. But he doesn't exist (I further confirmed this). I just don't get it. Why craft such an elaborate lie and get nothing out of it except advice.

I'm still perplexed.

This doesn't surprise me. The problem with Grindr is that you can never take people at face value. I've lost count of the people who have said they want to meet me, then we have long conversations, I suggest a date and either they stop responding immediately or say they're busy and don't offer any alternatives. Usually they will then disappear altogether. I've also had more than one person who arranges a meeting and then cancels repeatedly, usually with a feeble excuse like "My mother's arrived unexpectedly and is staying all day" or just "I can't make it this afternoon, something turned up". It seems a lot of people use Grindr simply to indulge their fantasies, never actually intending to meet anyone; that, or they're looking for the 20-something fit, athletic, well-off and attractive adonis who - we all know - doesn't exist. What is most disappointing is that they never show the other person any consideration - why waste so much of both people's time if they aren't being honest about their intentions?
 

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More Grindr nonsense from this morning alone (I am going to start screen-capping these).

Ridiculousness #1

- A guy, no face pic but a really great body pic, reaches out to me a few days ago. There are plenty of guys with great bodies around me so I don't doubt he's real, though I doubt he's into me (my body doesn't look like his). He wants to meet but I tell him I'm quarantining for a bit while I await my test results. Then he hits me up again today and asks to meet. I tell him that they came in (neg) but I'm working. Anyway, he keeps saying there's this really specific thing he's looking for that I can provide, but I warn him that I'm probably not his type. He then tells me we've met before but "that's a turn-off" and then blocks me. Giant huh? He reached out to me, wanted to meet, and then tells me meeting me was a "turn-off?" I don't understand.

Ridiculousness #2

- Another really attractive guy, this time with face and body pic, hits me up. He's pretty pushy and ask for my number with what seems like robo-generated responses. So I ask him to reply with something specific and he blocks me. Not two hours later he hits me up again (he used a very specific user name) and I'm like ... "you blocked me earlier this morning." Got blocked again. These shenanigans are pissing me off.
 

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Thus I'm super puzzled by who initiate with me and when I reply "hi" they ghost me. It happens pretty much every other day
My theory when that happens to me is those are guys who are horny for "right now" and are messaging a few guys looking for the best they can get- which isn't me and that's why they are talkative and then ghost. A better looking guy said yes to them.
 
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I just don't understand why he came for me. At several points I thought I was being catfished but he never asked for pics etc. But he doesn't exist (I further confirmed this). I just don't get it. Why craft such an elaborate lie and get nothing out of it except advice.

I'm still perplexed.
He could have been building to asking for money to help out after all this supposedly happened to him but blocked you after you seemed to figure it out before he got to "I need money for hospital bills" or whatever.

I had a guy on Hornet message me for almost a month- I didn't know the fake army guy was a scam until him. He would talk about his day, or what he could reveal. I would talk about mine and he always knew what time it was in Afghanistan, or whatever it was, and had a set schedule of free time that seemed legit.

We talked about his supposed family and mine and what I was doing for St Patrick's Day. Then after while he had a story about owing his sergeant, or whatever Army boos they have LOL, money and this guy means so much to him and he needs to pay him back if I could just get Amazon card or iTunes cards and pay him with that he'd pay me back. Nope. Didn't want to do money with him and he disappeared.

That's why I assume the elaborate hoax is for money.

I had another guy just start messaging me on Kik, even asked me what brings me on here. Uh, dude this is just a messaging app we hadn't met on a dating app and then moved to Kik. It was less than week and he was claiming he needed money for his dog. Sorry but neither him nor this dog actually exist.
 
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drainedmt

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He could have been building to asking for money to help out after all this supposedly happened to him but blocked you after you seemed to figure it out before he got to "I need money for hospital bills" or whatever.

I had a guy on Hornet message me for almost a month- I didn't know the fake army guy was a scam until him. He would talk about his day, or what he could reveal. I would talk about mine and he always knew what time it was in Afghanistan, or whatever it was, and had a set schedule of free time that seemed legit.

We talked about his supposed family and mine and what I was doing for St Patrick's Day. Then after while he had a story about owing his sergeant, or whatever Army boos they have LOL, money and this guy means so much to him and he needs to pay him back if I could just get Amazon card or iTunes cards and pay him with that he'd pay me back. Nope. Didn't want to do money with him and he disappeared.

That's why I assume the elaborate hoax is for money.

I had another guy just start messaging me on Kik, even asked me what brings me on here. Uh, dude this is just a messaging app we hadn't met on a dating app and then moved to Kik. It was less than week and he was claiming he needed money for his dog. Sorry but neither him nor this dog actually exist.

No, he definitely blocked me because I asked him to verify his identity (one too many times).

He gave me his full name (didn't exist), his brother's name (didn't exist) and the name of D (who did exist). He showed me real texts between him and D.

He never asked me for anything outside advice. Keep in mind we messaged every night for a week, for at least an hour a night.

Maybe he does exist and my internet sleuthing (which was very thorough) was off, but I don't think so.

Oh my new favorites are the guys who tap me, block me, unblock me, and look at my profile again.
 
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No, he definitely blocked me because I asked him to verify his identity (one too many times).

He gave me his full name (didn't exist), his brother's name (didn't exist) and the name of D (who did exist). He showed me real texts between him and D.

He never asked me for anything outside advice. Keep in mind we messaged every night for a week, for at least an hour a night.

Maybe he does exist and my internet sleuthing (which was very thorough) was off, but I don't think so.

Oh my new favorites are the guys who tap me, block me, unblock me, and look at my profile again.
The whole tap, block, unblock and repeat has happened to me with this guy who appears to live near me.
So I’ve been on Grindr for a couple of weeks now and I get pretty much the same messages. This one guy fairly young looking, messages me like almost every other day asking for pics once I send one he blocks me, after some days he appears again and messages again and repeat like wtf are you delusional or fake??

Also, questions from your previous statements if someone tells you they’ve never slept with a guy it should be considered a red flag??
Cause honestly I’m a virgin never been with a guy and I would say if someone wants to meet up I should be honest rather than they think I’m a pro and I end up being a bad fuck, right?
 

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The whole tap, block, unblock and repeat has happened to me with this guy who appears to live near me.
So I’ve been on Grindr for a couple of weeks now and I get pretty much the same messages. This one guy fairly young looking, messages me like almost every other day asking for pics once I send one he blocks me, after some days he appears again and messages again and repeat like wtf are you delusional or fake??

Also, questions from your previous statements if someone tells you they’ve never slept with a guy it should be considered a red flag??
Cause honestly I’m a virgin never been with a guy and I would say if someone wants to meet up I should be honest rather than they think I’m a pro and I end up being a bad fuck, right?

If they've never slept with a guy and they say they're 18 that's a red flag for me. This guy said he never slept with his girlfriends either btw, and he was "hot" (great face, ripped body, and to be honest, looked older than his pics). I just want to make sure someone is of age.
 

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If they've never slept with a guy and they say they're 18 that's a red flag for me. This guy said he never slept with his girlfriends either btw, and he was "hot" (great face, ripped body, and to be honest, looked older than his pics). I just want to make sure someone is of age.
Ahhh I see, that does seem fishy. Maybe he’s a stalker but odd that he didn’t ask you for anything in return. What an odd incident.