Guaranteed weight loss!

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Pecker, Oct 31, 2003.

  1. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I'm inviting all of you to read the latest diet book in which I guarantee easy-as-you-please weight loss.

    No dieting, no exercising, no turning away your favorite foods.

    It's The Dr. Pecker LPSG Post Your Ass Off Diet.

    Dr. Pecker's secret? Just post a question or respond to a topic - that's all you need to do.

    Soon you're no longer too big for your britches, your penis will be longer because you're finally measuring correctly, and big guys are no longer kicking sand in your face since you're too busy on the Board to go to the beach.

    Satisfaction guaranteed or your money cheerfully refunded.

    * Published by Scrotum Printing, a subsidiary of Pulling Your Leg Publishing, (not affiliated with extremecock.com)
     
  2. Imported

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    Tender: Pecker :D,
    you silly boy....


    :-*
    Tender
     
  3. Imported

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    awellhungboi: Think I'll give it a try.

    *posts*

    Wow! The pounds just melt away! Miraculous! Thanks, Dr. Pecker!
     
  4. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    I can hardly wait for the infomercial! :D
     
  5. Imported

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    sammygirly: Ok...WHY hasn't my ass shrunken any then Pecker?? WHY am I busting my ass at the gym?

    I want my money back :D
     
  6. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: just do my method.... don't eat... I haven't had a full meal in a week... become a college student with no steady income and you will lose plenty of weight!
     
  7. Imported

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    prepstudinsc: Meal plans like that send you to the hospital for malnutrition or worse yet, you could be my next customer because you've starved to death.
     
  8. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: ur a thanatologist?

    I've started to eat more lately... I'm finding free food at various religions organizations. I'm evil!
     
  9. Imported

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    prepstudinsc: Well I guess I could be considered a thanotologist, but I don't study death all that much anymore, now that I'm out of mortuary school. I'm a funeral director, undertaker, mortician--whatever you want to call it--or even the best new term "death care professional." LOL The things my industry can come up with kill me. oops, bad pun ;D
     
  10. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: hahah yes....we don't hire underatakers
     
  11. Imported

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    prepstudinsc: I've done several Hindu funerals/cremations. I had a strange service last year....the man who died was Indian, raised Hindu, but when he moved to America, became Methodist. The funeral service, was a strange blend of both religions--it included the singing of "Amazing Grace" as well as Hindu prayers/chants and other traditional Hindu funeral rituals, concluding with the cremation of the body.
     
  12. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: By "we" I meant my family

    An ultra traditional Hindu funeral would have no professionals present... only everyone... and I do mean EVERYONE the deceased ever knew and religious officials.

    The purist cremation method can be quite disturbing.
     
  13. Imported

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    prepstudinsc: Cremation is disturbing period. Although the Americanized Hindu way of doing it at the crematory is strange to see, when the body is actually set aflame before it is put in the cremation chamber (called a "retort") and the ignition button is pushed by the eldest son. We westerners are just not used to seeing bodies in flames. I've seen bodies while they were being cremated...I think I would much rather rot away in a casket 6 feet under than go for 2 hours or so at 1800 degree heat. Not my idea of fun.....
     
  14. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    "Mommy, is Auntie done yet?"

    "No, honey, the retort is only up to 1200 degrees."
     
  15. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: In India the female family members have to set the body up on the pyre and make it look "natural." The eldest son also has to bash the skull in with a rock so the soul is released from the body.
     
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    prepstudinsc: [quote author=Pecker link=board=meetgreet;num=1067632339;start=0#13 date=10/31/03 at 19:13:15]"Mommy, is Auntie done yet?"

    "No, honey, the retort is only up to 1200 degrees."[/quote]

    Sounds like the recipe for a cake....bake at 350 for 45 minutes or until golden brown.
     
  17. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: these cakes are often golden brown before they are in the oven :D

    bake at even consistency until loved one no longer recognizeable
     
  18. Imported

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    7x6andchg: Burn me and scatter my ashes in the Mississippi River so I can float down to New Orleans and have a high old time.
     
  19. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: well I will go to the Ganges if I can afford it
     
  20. Imported

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    prepstudinsc: [quote author=da_blissmachine link=board=meetgreet;num=1067632339;start=0#18 date=10/31/03 at 19:52:55]well I will go to the Ganges if I can afford it[/quote]

    you won't have to afford it....your family members will
     
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