Guhhhh.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by rob_, Nov 14, 2010.

  1. rob_

    rob_ Active Member

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    Time to throw myself a pity party.
    And everyone is invited.

    This story strings back to Feb. 2009. I started dating someone (my first boyfriend). We lasted until october, but then he got awkward around me, and I knew he wanted to break up, but didn't want to hurt me, so I broke up with him.

    He moved on quickly. Started casually seeing guys the week after. Although, he knew I still had an emotional attachment on him, which he tried to turn sexual. I refused. I am not the type to have a fuck buddy. I need more.

    Anyways, I've seen guys since then, but the longest 'relationship' I've had was only a month. I just couldn't get over him.

    Well, I went out with this new guy a couple times last month. He and I having very conflicting schedules, we went out maybe 3 times over four weeks. The last we went out was two weeks ago.

    I wake up and check facebook today to realize that my first boyfriend and this new guy I was seeing are 'in a relationship'.
    I didn't think I was a good match with this new guy. That's not why I'm upset. I just hate that I'm finally feeling like I'm over my first boyfriend, who stole my heart and threw it away. Then this happens. He didnt know I was seeing this guy. But the irony literally kills me.

    :mad:
    Rant over.
     
  2. Ric1

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    oh dear, you'll find someone more worthy for you.
     
  3. rob_

    rob_ Active Member

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    That's what I keep telling myself.
    But I'm tired of waiting. :(
     
  4. noirman

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    The irony is painful, I'm sure, but patience is the only recourse you have. Hang in there.
     
  5. zaragoza

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    A terrible as this is,someone better will come a long,hang in there.
     
  6. benoweed

    benoweed Member

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    You will find someone nice, but be patient...
     
  7. rob_

    rob_ Active Member

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    Thank you everyone who attended my pity party!
    Now that I've moped around all day, I realize that I WILL find someone better than both of them. Probably better than both of them combined.

    What a crappy way to start a day.
    But I'm over it.
    Plenty of bigger fish in the sea.
    *Casts line*
     
  8. CALAMBO

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    hold head high...cock higher...wait for the time to be rite and strut your stuff...they will notice....
     
  9. g_whiz

    g_whiz New Member

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    Oh, thats just crappy coincidence. And to be completley fair, I don't know many people who wouldn't be at least mildly bothered by whats happened here. You may not be strongly emotionally attached to your first boyfriend anymore, but when two people you were dating/intimate with are suddenly involved, its pretty hard not to be taken off gaurd by it. Hang in there though. Are you friends with either of them now? Because, if so, they probably owed you a heads up before having to have found out this way...
     
  10. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    Something similar to this happened to me a few years back. If you think about it for a minute, it makes sense that the two people you were (are) attracted to are also attracted to each other. There's obviously a common denominator between them and with you. I'm not sure it makes you feel any better, but it's a fairly common experience.
     
  11. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    If you could have a 20 year old VW now or a new Mercedes by waiting and looking which one would you rather have.

    The first thing you need to do is to find a person who wants out of life what you want. Some people are not capable of returning the things in a relationship that you need. This does not make them bad people, it just makes them people who have different needs.

    A great many years ago I was told that my standards were 'too high" and that unless I was willing to reduce these standards and "settle for less" that I would never find anybody.

    I had decent relationships with a number of men before I met my life partner. All were good relationships but none really had what I needed. One was with a law enforcement officer, another was with a very talented cartoon animator, and two were with professional bodybuilders. I am still friends with all of these men to this day. We may not see each other regularly or send Christmas cards, but over time we realized that what we had was not enough to cement something that would last a life time.

    Strangely I met my life partner on November 14th which was his Birthday. He was in California on a vacation trip and he was there to meet someone else. What was strange was that when he met me we shared virtually the same ideas of married life together. We had talked by e-mail for some time and we had some knowledge of each other, but our meeting and falling in love was in and of itself a wonderful story. That was over a decade ago and we have never looked back.

    Together we have faced multiple major life shattering events which were at minimum traumatic. The economy has hit us hard and to top it off we have the adopted Nephew. We have faced the death of parents together, we have faced traumatic financial events, we have faced worst of all cancer in our 22-year-old nephew which has in essence become the equivalent of the son we could never have. The Nephew, abandoned by parents who were not capable of managing the problems of their own lives, has asked us to legally adopt him. We have been there for him and though we did not know exactly what to do, we had the courage to take on a kid who had suffered abuse that was not really intentional, but bad just the same. We have had to deal with repairing him as the number one priority.

    If you look for the very best person that you can find, and the person who is the best match for you mentally you would be surprised at how much of the other stuff will just simply fix itself as you move towards each other.

    Don't expect a life of fantasy and expect from the beginning that life will become magically easy. What you want and need is a person who will be there for you just as you are for him. Your man will be your best friend, your confidant, and your one single partner for the rest of your life or his. If you look for the mental link up the physical parts will come together by themselves.

    I celebrate my next Anniversary on January 1st. Take it from someone who looked for quality for a long time and was either lucky or stubborn enough not to settle for less.

    The past is a cashed check, it is gone. The future is a dividend yet to be paid.

    Do not condemn yourself or the other guy because you are wasting time with trivia. Look for the mind and the ability to live with each other from the beginning. If you don't see it, enjoy the dating make it a friendship and move on.

    The final thing is to be honest in that you are looking for a lasting relationship and not an FB. FB's are easy to find. Love is a great deal more difficult, but take it from me, it is worth it.
     
  12. luka82

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    Rob you are a great guy, you`ll find a guy worthy of you.
    Give it time.
     
  13. AlteredEgo

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    *huggle*
     
  14. luka82

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    A huggle for me too? :frown1:
     
  15. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    Awwww... poor thing. *huggles* It's good to throw a pity party when you feel like throwing one. People can empathize and huggle you and tell you all will be okay. Which it will be, one day! Just sucks waiting huh... But you'll meet that special guy. =)
     
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