Guilt for playing with women

Growing123

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I have always felt a guilt when thinking about having sexual play with women. My parents always told me to respect women so I felt that I couldn't violate them. When I watch straight porn it turns me on but I feel uncomfortable seeing men and women having sex together. Men with other men seems more comfortable as they are not mistreating women.
What is wrong with this messed up position? I watched a thread with women rimming guys and it turned me on but I couldn't believe that women would do that and that men would love it.
 
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lapdog2001

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I have always felt a guilt when thinking about having sexual play with women. My parents always told me to respect women so I felt that I couldn't violate them. When I watch straight porn it turns me on but I feel uncomfortable seeing men and women having sex together. Men with other men seems more comfortable as they are not mistreating women.
What is wrong with this messed up position? I watched a thread with women rimming guys and it turned me on but I couldn't believe that women would do that and that men would love it.
As long as the sex is consensual the men should not be mistreating women. Don't forget, 99% of all porn isn't real, they are acting out a predefined scene.

Yes, some women do like rimming men, and some men do enjoy rimming. There's lots of behavior that isn't pleasing or arousing to me, but may be to other people. I see men and women having sex together and most of the time it seems they are really enjoying each other. I know from my own perspective, if I'm not enjoying myself sexually, then I'm not erect. Porn is different, but I bet most of the time the actors make the best of it and really try to enjoy each other.


Men can most certainly mistreat other men, it happens all the time.
 
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FrankieGuile

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I have always felt a guilt when thinking about having sexual play with women. My parents always told me to respect women so I felt that I couldn't violate them. When I watch straight porn it turns me on but I feel uncomfortable seeing men and women having sex together. Men with other men seems more comfortable as they are not mistreating women.
What is wrong with this messed up position? I watched a thread with women rimming guys and it turned me on but I couldn't believe that women would do that and that men would love it.
Because you asked, what is "wrong" is conflating your notions of sex with women with disrespecting and violating women. The rest is a job for a good therapist to unravel.
 

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I have always felt a guilt when thinking about having sexual play with women. My parents always told me to respect women so I felt that I couldn't violate them.
You should really see a therapist to unpack this misconception, because essentially, you seem to think all but the most gentle, gynocentric actions in sex are inherently violating women...which also means you need to update your idea of women's agency/autonomy when it comes to sexual desire. I can tell you as a straight man that wasbrought up with a similar mindset, the most raunchy, nasty, sometimes borderline violent sexual things one can get into? They didn't come about because I told them to do something, more often than not I was going along my somewhat vanilla way and she whipped out with some freaky deaky shit she wanted to try, and then subsequently continue.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be careful, because grooming and coercion are things that exist, but if you aren't in some obvious power position you should take a woman at her word as to what she's down for, and not assume she doesn't know how to respect herself.
 

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OP would also do well to delve into women's erotica; in a space devoid of the male gaze, much of what women fantasize about, from the outside looking in, far exceeds the worst violations the average man could even think of enacting upon her...
You're so worried about disrespecting her by her rimming you, meanwhile she gets herself off to stories about a pirate captain, that's also a werewolf, that basically raped her during a raid of her city, but was so moved by her feminine wiles decided to become a doctor in that same town, and settle down with her and her litter of little pirate half pups.
 
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JD_002

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For a long time I thought I was gay instead of bi cause I didn't liked straight porn or they way other guys treated women, it was something pretty unappealing to me and I couldn't believe that was the norm, always felt some sort of guilt for sexualizing them (that doesn't happen to me with guys) them later you realize you don't have to follow the norm and you can do your own thing.
 

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Believe it or not, porn is not real. In porn there are no hurt feelings when an actor gets dressed 2 minutes after an orgasm to leave. A person male or female, with whom you have sex / play may not want to be used and disposed of. Guilt is just a teeny tiny part of your brain trying to remind one to be a civil human to another human be they male or female
 

Robert Dole

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I had similar issues with my first girlfriend, I had grown up in a conservative but non- religious household and my development was an obvious problem, and then there was the "respect for women" lecture... She had grown up in an even more conservative household with a dash of religion too, so even the thought of anything sexual was expected to bring hellfire and brimstone. However, there was a growing divide between mother and daughter and she was quietly ignoring mother's instructions.
We would kiss for hours on end, feeling guilty and stopping before doing it all over again next time we met up, and the guilt about kissing soon disappeared- after all, there was no smell of sulphur and life went on as normal- and it felt so good... Eventually she got curious about "that thing" poking into her and explored quite a bit between guilt trips, but I felt so guilty about wanting to touch her that I held off until one day she put my hands up her sweater, onto her bra- clad breasts unfastening her bra. I recall my cock leaking and making a big wet spot that day, and her teasing me about it but also spending some time making her purr. From then, she led me in touching her- I felt so guilty that I wasn't "respecting her", but she would stop me if she wasn't comfortable and we soon learnt the sky didn't fall then either. For a few weeks she guided me touching her pussy through her panties, and then the next time we met she removed her panties and gave me a guided tour before removing her hand from mine. I soon learnt my way around and could make her cum with my fingers, but she would place my hand for some time when she was ready before I was confident enough to get busy when I thought she might respond well.
 
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elklindoxxx

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I have always felt a guilt when thinking about having sexual play with women. My parents always told me to respect women so I felt that I couldn't violate them. When I watch straight porn it turns me on but I feel uncomfortable seeing men and women having sex together. Men with other men seems more comfortable as they are not mistreating women.
What is wrong with this messed up position? I watched a thread with women rimming guys and it turned me on but I couldn't believe that women would do that and that men would love it.
My sister and I were taught by our parents to respect people, regardless of their gender. That was one discussion.

In a separate discussion with my father, he told me that I whatever I did in my personal life was my business. And in no uncertain terms he told me all sexual activity needs to be consensual in nature. I was never told that sexual activity was either good or bad. It was just something that people did in life.
 

FrankieGuile

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I had similar issues with my first girlfriend, I had grown up in a conservative but non- religious household and my development was an obvious problem, and then there was the "respect for women" lecture... She had grown up in an even more conservative household with a dash of religion too, so even the thought of anything sexual was expected to bring hellfire and brimstone. However, there was a growing divide between mother and daughter and she was quietly ignoring mother's instructions.
We would kiss for hours on end, feeling guilty and stopping before doing it all over again next time we met up, and the guilt about kissing soon disappeared- after all, there was no smell of sulphur and life went on as normal- and it felt so good... Eventually she got curious about "that thing" poking into her and explored quite a bit between guilt trips, but I felt so guilty about wanting to touch her that I held off until one day she put my hands up her sweater, onto her bra- clad breasts unfastening her bra. I recall my cock leaking and making a big wet spot that day, and her teasing me about it but also spending some time making her purr. From then, she led me in touching her- I felt so guilty that I wasn't "respecting her", but she would stop me if she wasn't comfortable and we soon learnt the sky didn't fall then either. For a few weeks she guided me touching her pussy through her panties, and then the next time we met she removed her panties and gave me a guided tour before removing her hand from mine. I soon learnt my way around and could make her cum with my fingers, but she would place my hand for some time when she was ready before I was confident enough to get busy when I thought she might respond well.
Sexual hang-ups in adolescents and young adults is nothing new having existed for as long as the written word exists. It matters not that one grew up "in a conservative" household or a religious one or a liberal one or one where daddy walked around naked all the time (I threw in that bit of titillation for free for some of you out there who really like that kind of stuff). What matters is that one acts as an adult as one becomes an adult and determines one's own sexual mores, casting off influences one finds objectionable and adopting those one finds acceptable.