Guilty till proven innocent "trust issues"

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Hammond Happydipper, Sep 8, 2010.

  1. D_Hammond Happydipper

    D_Hammond Happydipper Account Disabled

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    trusting other people is problem for me, as I have been screwed over too many times by my family

    I only trust 5 people out my whole family


    I do not even trust my parents anymore that eroded away 10 years ago
    busted my mom talking behind my back a few times



    this really hindered's me from finding my own Relationship


    even declined some women that came up to me in the past and asked me out. I know that's a rarity

    Anxiety gets really bad around women I interested in
     
  2. Bbucko

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    I could make some snarky comment or analyze why "trust", like all other emotional responses, comes in layers of appropriate depending on one's relationship with another person in some deep and meaningful way, but in this case I'm gonna skip that.

    You need professional help: find it or you'll devolve into a hopeless emotional cripple incapable of any intimacy or friendship on any level ever. You're already well on your way there now.
     
  3. minimag

    minimag Active Member

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    Ha! We've never met, but that's a pretty damn accurate description of ME. :p
     
  4. willow78

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    Me too.
     
  5. D_Hammond Happydipper

    D_Hammond Happydipper Account Disabled

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    yes but every one makes me their scapegoat

    that is why i do not trust any one any more
     
  6. lgtrmusr

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    did I just see a "yes, but"....

    Being uncomfortable trusting is a very corrosive thing. Knowing how much trust to extend, how to gauge what is appropriate, and feeling free to trust fully in the right situation, is very valuable.

    For the OP, can you tell us any more about your experiences with trust?
     
  7. D_Ezdras Dingledonger

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    People talk smack, dude. You have to get over it because it's not going to change. Your own family will always talk about you as soon as your back's turned; mine does it, and I'm sure most others do as well to some degree. You have to learn to tune down your heightened sense of betrayal and not get defensive about it. Talking shit about people is inherent to human nature, and just because it happens, it doesn't mean your family doesn't love you. In fact, it's quite the opposite - we tend to hurt those we love the most.
     
  8. DV8

    DV8
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    I am so sorry to read this, but I know how you feel... We've all been screwed over, and when the dagger pierces, it pierces deep. What I will tell you is that you need to forgive all of those people- whole heartedly- not for them, but for you. You have to move on, otherwise, all of the pain that was caused to will stop you from achieving happiness. You're making innocent people pay for the mistakes of others. It's not fair to them or you. I'm not telling you to call those people up and say "Hey, I forgive you"- doesn't work that way- you don't have to tell a soul. The pain has already been done- allow yourself to heal, bud.

    I will go ahead and say that I put a price on people. I determine whether or not if someone is worth me investing in. And I think that's fair, considering that everyone does it with me without even realizing it. You posted this thread because you're looking for that one answer that knocks the pain and resentment out of you. You may not find it, but even if you don't- live your life and enjoy it. And again, I'm sorry that you were fucked over. It hurts, I know.

    Take Care,

    Dante'
     
  9. big_tits4big_dicks

    big_tits4big_dicks New Member

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    Family talks shit all the time! I love my cousins, but they can be a bunch of dumb whores. Doesn't mean I don't love them, or wouldn't be there for them. It just means I have to bitch about them sometimes! Get some help, feeling that way totally sucks ass.
     
  10. DiscoBoy

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    Get a therapist of some sort, they can help you sort out a lot of your issues. You're just gonna have to learn to get over it, see past it, and simply not give a fuck. You don't want to repeat the patterns you've fallen into in the past, so you have to put an active effort into changing the way people see you, and treat you. If you don't accept bullshit, you won't receive bullshit.
     
  11. D_Hammond Happydipper

    D_Hammond Happydipper Account Disabled

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    can not wait to i return to being a emotionless zombie did not have to deal with all this stress at all

    i can not even get a damn erection anymore..

    Libido is gone completely

    no morning wood ether
     
  12. nudeyorker

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    Do yourself a big favor and stop playing victim and get some professional help if necessary. I'm sorry but you are equally as culpable in all of this if history keeps repeating itself.
     
  13. D_Hammond Happydipper

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    yea that could get expensive..
     
  14. minimag

    minimag Active Member

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    I'm having the opposite effect. I'm hornier now than I was in my teens, 20's and early 30's COMBINED!
     
  15. D_Hammond Happydipper

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  16. nudeyorker

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    If your circumstances prevent you from paying for some counseling then give these folks a call. If they can't assist you they can most likely refer you to someone else. I sounds like you have had some very unpleasant experiences; but getting the skills to deal with them and move forward without recurring issues will benefit you in the long run.
    Free Clinic
     
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