Guy At The Gym *swoon*

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by pinkpineapples, Jun 14, 2011.

  1. pinkpineapples

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Okay, so there's this guy that works at the gym I goto. He's beautiful! You walk in and he just gives you this smile like he's soooo happy to see you, and it makes me smile and gah!

    Anyway! I've been interested in him for awhile now, and today he actually called me by name as i was leaving (totally had the "omg he knows my name" school girl moment lol). Thought I was gonna die! heh but yeah...I don't know how to approach him, don't know how to ask him out??? Don't know what to say OR ANYTHING :(

    Most of the time I just kinda panic and like 'have a nice day! *run*' When I'm nervous I flush red, so embarrassing. And I just know if i walk up to him and try to do anything beyond casual business-client relation, i'll freak lol. Although sometimes I feel like he's very friendly. Once I walked in and he got all giddy, big smile, hand in the air waving....like, above the head. But I have a tendency to misjudge these things....Sigh

    I really just have no idea how to be that person. I don't know how to be in a relationship nor do I know how to engage one. I don't know what to talk about and honestly, I'm scared...afraid...TERRIFIED! Mostly I just wanna walk up to him and be like 'are you available? interested in going out sometime?' and then i'm like ARE YOU CRAZY?! lol It makes me sad that I can't do this...or don't know how to do this. It's not something I do, ever done...any of it. I've always wanted to be the one pursued. Feel like it lessens my chances of being hurt...i dunno! HELP me IF you CAN =/
     
  2. seffnerman

    seffnerman Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2011
    Messages:
    81
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    seffner fl
    well to me dude it sounds like you are not going to have to ask him he just might do it just wait and see how it goes
     
  3. Charles Finn

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
    Messages:
    2,538
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toledo Ohio
    do not be scared go for it the worst thing is he will say no
    but he may say yes
    keep us posted
     
  4. D_Roland_D_Hay

    D_Roland_D_Hay Account Disabled

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,926
    Likes Received:
    9
    I think you have to ask yourself what it is that intimidates you about him. Is it the fear of rejection? Is it low self esteem? Just remember, he is human just like you with his fears and insecurities. You might want to start out with a hello and go from there. It might startle him to walk up and ask are you available and do you want to go out? Don't be afraid of rejection, if its not meant to be its all for the best. Good luck to you.
     
  5. pinkpineapples

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Rejection, Low Self Esteem...if he isn't gay/bi, he now knows I am. Will he tell anyone? I dunno..So many things I guess. I have major insecurities lol. I'm out but I'm not? 3 of my aunts know, and it comes up time to time. My family knows, but I haven't told them and I don't talk about it. I've never outright told anyone "I'm Gay" and I think it stems from fear of what follows. This huge stigma with the word Gay. Brings about a fear of what people will say/think/do? *shrug*

    Just want him to come to me! lol
     
  6. D_Roland_D_Hay

    D_Roland_D_Hay Account Disabled

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,926
    Likes Received:
    9
    I can totally relate. If you are not sure if he is gay/bi, I would suggest a friendship because things could turn real ugly if you ask him out and he is offended. Like I said, take your time and say hello!
     
  7. D_Woody Wilson

    D_Woody Wilson Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2009
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    1
    Walk up to him and introduce yourself. If he wants to continue the conversation, he will.. it sounds as if he is just as interested in you. Be nice, smile and ask him out for coffee. You'll never know until you do. Lighten up, enjoy and have a wonderful time.. then come back and tell us all about it!
     
  8. dcw4

    dcw4 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2006
    Messages:
    727
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bothell, Wa.
    just do it~ you'll regret NOT doing anything later, it sounds like he likes you!!!!
    and with you're pic's~ theres plenty to like!
     
  9. likes2seemore

    likes2seemore New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2007
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    columbus,oh
    you know i may be way off base here,if i am please take no offence,but i find you so personable and attractive.i would love to spend some time with you,maybe get to know you better.if i'm barking up the wrong tree or you have no interest,its cool...just thought i'd ask. try it this way?? good luck
     
  10. pinkpineapples

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Yeah, this is usually the route that I'm told to take, but I don't want to lol. I don't want a friend, I want more..

    I might try...this thread might die for a bit, but it MAY come back with news.

    Yeah, I know I will regret it. After he friggin called me by name and I walked out...I fought myself so hard to walk back in there and just do it, but i didnt. I get him alone from time to time when he sets up my hydro massage bed. Maybe I can force it out some way then. And thanks...lol

    I like this approach, gives him an out..so if he isn't it doesnt make him uncomfortable, or if he's just not interested..
     
  11. fratpack

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2005
    Messages:
    7,085
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    79
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    nyc
    take a deep breath and start out by just striking up a friendship. i know u don't want just a friendship u want more. as u get to know him as a person, you can get a better idea if you two will be suited for each other. by immediately diving in head first, you could end up messing up a good situation. best of luck though whichever route you persue.
     
  12. pierceplace

    pierceplace New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2011
    Messages:
    452
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    spain
    This is so cute ^_^
    But, if he works at the gym, he probably acts the same with all the clients...
    I dont know... try showing off??? If I were him, I would melt :p
     
  13. pinkpineapples

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    So I got up the nerve to go up there after work for my massage (after talking to myself for 4hrs, figuring out what to say) and he wasnt there! I'm going in the morning, but i dont want to do it with his coworkers around, or my aunt around (who's going with me) Blegh! Hopefully he'll be there tomorrow night, and ill go in after work again... Wish i could just find him online, but i cant!

    Yeah, I'm so pass the point of friendship unless he says no, let's maybe be friends? idk I just want something more!

    Cute eh? My pain is cute?! lol I'm freakin out here! And melt? Why....I don't know that i'm all that now..No powers of making men melt or we wouldnt be here lol
     
  14. pinkpineapples

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Okay well. I went to the gym tonight after work 9pm. Went in for my massage, got in there around 9:10. He set it up for me, I chickened out when we were alone. 9:20, Massage over, i proceed to bathroom to give myself some time to prep. 9:21 lol, I walk to the front desk and move to the side and pretend to have an interesting cell texting moment. lol He asks if i need anything, said no...panicked and walked out. AAAAND

    from 9:25-9:45 I sat in the car beating myself up, freaking out, and dying to go back in. So I called and asked him if he had a moment where i could interrupt his customer servicing, so I came back in.....

    I DID IT! 'Sry, didn't want to get in the way of your customers...and I don't know if i'm off base here or not, but you seem like a pretty nice guy and i was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out sometime?' *heart stop*

    He said he was married =/ He was super nice and super sweet about it and I swear i think the words "Are you really?!" came out of my mouth, but in the "you gotta be kidding" kind of way? lol SO I'm sad, but I'm not devastated. Would've been awesome to get a yes after conquering myself, because that's what was holding me back from it.

    Right now I'm kind of just, on the high from doing it? And I think tomorrow I'll be more =/. There's another guy there that I've also had my eye on, and he might me? (but as you can see, i tend to be hella wrong) So...maybe i'll try that now that I know I can! (after days of agonizing torture) lol

    *breathe*
     
    #14 pinkpineapples, Jun 16, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2011
  15. eyemready

    eyemready Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    883
    Likes Received:
    21
    Maybe he already loves you for your penis. I know I do!
     
  16. pinkpineapples

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    lol he doesn't...and thanks, I THINK
     
  17. dad4you

    dad4you Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2009
    Messages:
    872
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boise, Idaho
    so with all of that... remember to be his friend. Not everyone can OWN the Mona Lisa, but many can see it and find joy in the experience.
     
  18. pinkpineapples

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Yeah, def still gonna be friendly. Don't want it to get awkward, although it wasn't like we were close to begin with...but yeah. It would be cool to get to know him on a friend level, but I doubt it would happen? *shrug*

    It's kinda getting to me more now than it was earlier. The adrenaline has worn off and now it's the ... gah, i can't get the image of him turning me down out of my mind. I can see the entire experience as plain as day as though i'm still standing there! Oi. Let my sleep tonight cure me of this, please!
     
    #18 pinkpineapples, Jun 17, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2011
  19. pinkpineapples

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Okay so, the next part of my life experience lol

    Went to the gym today and talked him again, wanted to smooth out any possible awkwardness, and we're good. Said its happened before and that I have nothing to worry about.....Now that I've asked, let's call him "T", out and was "rejected"... is there a way to go about making a friendship without him thinking I want more? Because he's a great guy and I would like to maybe be friends? Just not sure how to strike up a friendship. I know it cant be forced, but how do you do that? I don't see him outside of the gym and it's usually a "hey, what's going on" kinda thing... I guess I could try to converse more with him, but don't want to interfere with his job?? BUT WHAT TO SAY/DO?!

    Secondly, there is another guy that works at the gym, let's call him "N", he set up my account. I have a better idea of his sexuality, as it's more apparent. I think he's interested, more outside my "type" than "T" was, but he's really nice and I think it would be worth going for. Should I wait awhile before asking him, since I just asked "T"? What's the guideline/protocol on that? I don't want "N" to feel like a second choice, although I don't think he would cause I doubt "T" said anything. Just need feedback on the situation.

    I rely on you guys! No gay friends, or anyone outside family soo...I have no one else for this, thanks! I really do appreciate the advice <3

    Love, The Gay n00b! lol
     
  20. Careym

    Careym Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2007
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nesbit (MS, US)
    You need to stop. Re-evaluate what it is that you are looking for. You're so young and you have all the time in the world to establish a great relationship. Decide exactly what you are looking for and then go for it. Don't settle for the first guy with a great smile. There are a million of those. Go for the ONE.
    Recognize your own strengths and weaknesses. What do you bring to the table? Don't try to have a relationship with every guy you meet. Learn how to be a TRUE friend first. You will have many friendships in your life. Do it right the first time and you could have a relationship that lasts a lifetime.
    When I was your age, I wanted to be in a relationship so badly, that I did not see the clear signs that surrounded the guy I had set my sights on. As a result, I spent the next 25 years with a guy who could not have been more different from the person that I really wanted to spend my life with.
    Just step back and take a look at your self. Find out who you are. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. There is nothing in the world more sexy than a man who is happy with himself. Not in an arrogant way, rather in a self-assured, confident aura.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted