... Don't settle for the first guy with a great smile..... relationship with every guy you meet. .
The bold points are me to a dime, unfortunately. I'm very guilty of that and it's because I don't meet a lot of guys. So I "cling" to the ones I meet. I don't know how to approach them, and I don't really engage with anyone outside of work. Between work, gym and sleeping...i have like 10mins lol. I am very eager to be with someone and it's because I've never had that connection and I want it. I just want to know...no, FEEL that i'm cared for.
Makes me emotional to type all this crap out. I'm working on my confidence (gym and body image, the start) and that's a big reason I was able to muster up every ounce of my being to ask him out. I feel better about myself. I think I know what I want out of it, what I can bring, but in a way I dont. I've never done this before. EVER. Aren't I suppose to make the stupid mistakes and learn? I didn't have the chance most kids do in high school. I just want to find someone to love, and to give it in return. Meh
I have to say, Pink, if you come off in real life even half as charming as you do on here you will have no problems making friends and finding lovers. You truly seem like a very appealing guy.
With regard to your question, as to Mr. T, I would suggest you take it slowly and let the friendship develop naturally. You now know that you are both on different wavelengths, so to speak. So you should work on building a foundation upon which a friendship might grow. As to the other guy, you may wish to hold off on exploring that avenue especially if he is not exactly your type. They both work together and so you don't want them to think you're rebounding or worse, "trolling" for anyone. Now that you've conquered your fear why not see what exists beyond the gym doors.
Good luck. You'll do great.
Thanks, that first comment is appreciated. I'm told that I have a good personality, its just... conversation-wise with new people, I lack skill lol. I never know what to say or talk about topic wise. It gets to that awkward silence and if I could just find that "close friend zone" it all falls away and its great. I haven't had that in so long. I don't know. Maybe it wouldn't work because as you say, we are on such different wave lengths. Gay-Straight, Single-Married, Okay-GORGEOUS lol. Not sure how it would work.
In regard to "N", I kind of had that same feeling. I don't want either of them to think I'm just hopping around from one to the next. I just...sigh. I just need something more in my life. Something else besides getting up, going to work, going to the gym, worrying about this bill, and where i'll get that dollar. I want to wake up to someone who's gonna say everything is okay and can make life just a little bit easier, happier, and more loving. Maybe i'm naive, or just young and stupid. Who knows. But I know I want more.
There's been a lot of discussion on this board about love and infatuation whether with a girl or a guy. I think the primary way you can figure out if the other person is really interested in you is to see what they say to you and how they treat you. Otherwise I think that love is mutual while infatuation is more one-sided. If the other person is attracted to you, they'll most likely begin to express that in some way...maybe subtly at first. If it's mutual then you can both begin to follow where the energy is going. I've had both girls and guys be infatuated with me, and I make it a point to thank them for their interest in me and try to look at it from their POV. Instead of giving people a one word answer, I attempt to find out something about them and what they want from me or a relationship with me. I think it's my responsibility to respect and honor the other person's needs and emotions without leading them on. If you're a caring person, there's no other way.
Yeah. I tend to have this issue. I can become entirely infatuated/obsessed, whichever you want to call it. Maybe I'll just strike up more conversation with "N" and see what comes of it, instead of just asking him out. I think its good to get over the infatuation of "T" first anyway. I'm still clinging to him. And its because I got my hopes up and got more involved with it, emotionally, than was necessary to just ask him out on a date. I pictured a hundred different scenarios and it messed with my head I guess.
I need to learn how to do this stuff better. I don't know how much of the emo-flood I can take lol.