Guy was ready to fight me because I was openly talking about gay feelings.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Nrets, Sep 30, 2007.

  1. Nrets

    Nrets Member

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    I talk openly. I feel that it is liberating. I have been called many things in my childhood. I think it is a bunch of Bullshit and I should be able to live and love how I want and who I want without judgement. I have my own self prejudices because of all the heterosexist shit I have been put through. It makes it hard to discern what I need.
    You all may have read the post about the girl who said I was gay because I wasn't able to perform. Well I was telling a friend about it in front of a 7 eleven about an hour ago. I talk really openly.
    I mentioned something about if I have sex with this girl and she tells me I am gay afterwards, just because she is a sadist, that it wouldn't necessarily be as bad as I thought it would be. I would have the experience of connecting with this girl, and it really doesn't matter what people say or think about me....it wouldn't surprise or threaten me much if I were to decide that the experience was not as enjoyable as being with a guy might be...blah blah blah...
    This red belt wearing redneck and his hick friend in an El Camino overhear the convo and throw a bottle at me.
    I knew immediately that I had said the wrong thing in front of the wrong people.
    They come up. Immediately the one with the red belt is ready to fight.
    "why you drinking"
    "I'm not drinking"
    "Why'd you throw that bottle"
    "I didn't throw that bottle"
    " get out out of here"
    "OK"
    my heart is pounding
    "get in your car"
    As he is standing in front of the door to the car.
    "I didn't do shit to you, calm down"
    "I'm going to clock you in your head"
    He starts chasing me
    "why are you backing up like a pussy"
    It goes on
    I go in 7 eleven
    I go behind the counter
    I call the cops
    He starts saying I threw a bottle and that I shouldn't be allowed in the store. His daughter comes in there. He spits on me. His friend persuades him out. Calls me a butt pirate. Says that he knows I take it in the ass.
    I thought that was funny.
    Who the fuck cares wheter I take it or where I take it.
    I was shit scared though.
    I am not a good fighter.
    If I had said anything it would have been a fight.
    I asked myself if I could win. The answer was maybe,
    and that if I didn't I could wake up int he hospital and I hate hospitals.
    But seriously I don't want to live in fear. And I don't want to compensate my openess.
    Part of me feels like I should have fought.
    Part of me was fearless. Maybe I needed to risk everything for this cause.
    He seemed like the type of guy who carries a knife.
    I wish I had spit back on him
    Oh well.
    But yeah...life is crazy
     
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  2. Fillitup

    Fillitup New Member

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    I hope you're alright? You'll probably go over this in your mind for a while. Don't ever think that you did something wrong. You should have the capacity to live life to the fullest however you want, as long as it doesn't impact negatively on anyone else.

    Life isn't crazy, just some people are, and they make it hell for the rest of us. I don't see why you should censor yourself (especially around El Caminos) but the trade off is that you may need some Self-Defence training.
     
  3. Gillette

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    Holy shit, Nrets!

    That's awful. I'm glad you managed to keep your cool and go for a phone. I hope you gave the license plate number to the police.

    You shouldn't have to censor yourself and you shouldn't have to put up with assholes like that one. Self defence training might not be a bad idea for the future.
     
  4. DC_DEEP

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    Here's yet another example for those idiots who claim it doesn't happen.

    Physical violence toward gays or perceived gays is commonplace, and the legal system does little to discourage it.

    I'm glad you're OK, Nrets. The sad part about it is, usually, these homophobic bullies are cowards. They only pick on someone who is obviously smaller or weaker... or they go around in packs, attacking 3 or more against one. Yeah, great way for them to prove their manliness, right?

    Honestly, I don't know why any society tolerates that kind of behavior. The general public seems to condone violence against someone, simply because that person may possibly appear to be gay. And in cases of assault or murder, you so often hear about the "gay panic defense". While its effectiveness in criminal defense is debatable, the simple fact that it is even used tells volumes about our society, our laws, and our criminal justice system. It's like something from Mississippi or Alabama in the 1950s, with a white person using nothing more than race as a defense in an assault or murder trial. It's sickening.
     
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  5. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    Nrets, where do you live, if you don't mind my asking?
     
  6. GI SUPRISE

    GI SUPRISE New Member

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    I was once assaulted by a 350 lb slob in a bathroom at a local restaurant once because the guy overheard the conversation my friends and I were having at a restaurant.

    He was literally twice as big as me and when I pushed him away nothing happened. He blocked the door with his body and got angrier and angrier as he called me a faggot. It was pretty crazy until another person came in to use the bathroom.

    I was physically okay but it was weird thinking that somethin like that happened only last year.

    This was in Sacramento, CA.
     
  7. ZOS23xy

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    Well, time and place for openness is always needed. Not where some closeted gay man has to prove his "masculinity" by beating on someone who he has overheard.

    And never met previously.

    That's where the law often doesn't respond. The whole spontaneousness of it.
     
  8. art

    art
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    If it's like our local 7-11's, they have security cameras all around the place that probably recorded big hunks of your confrontation with the ElCamino jerk. Refer the police to these security cameras, and enjoy it when the jerk go to jail. (I hear there is no beer in jail.)
     
  9. Skull Mason

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    He probably wanted to fight you because he had to repress his deep down desire to suck your cock what an insecure fuck
     
  10. sdbg

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    Hey Nrets: I hope that you're doing okay. Freaky experience.

    My opinion is the the most homophobic men are battling a subconscious urge to have a sexual experience with another guy. Any other guy would be indifferent. Homophobes have all of this repressed anger that can unleash at a moment's notice, and they feel justified bashing gay guys. Live and let live doesn't exist for them.

    Nonetheless, I didn't really start getting comfortable with being able to say that "I'm gay" until I was in my 50s. It's too bad that I had this sense of guilt and inferiority for so long, but the past is the past. Even though I'm totally open and honest with my friends, I'm low key in public. I look like just another middle age guy and I don't need to have a pink flag tatooed onto my forehead and announce my orientation to the world at large. I just want to live my life happily without bothering anyone else and I don't want anyone bothering me. The law will not get too concerned with hate crimes, so protect yourself. Why bring grief on yourself by having an open conversation in public that makes you a target? We are free to say whatever we want when we want; we just need to understand that there are going to be strong reactions from those who hold a different opinion.
     
  11. arliss

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    be careful
     
  12. vega

    vega Member

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    A lot of shit you should never have to deal with. Hope your luck helps you avoid ever being around people like that.
     
  13. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Welcome to homophobia. It's a sad situation. Do learn some self-defense and how to be aware of your surroundings. They're good things to learn anyway.

    So sorry about that.

    And DUMP that girl. She's causing way too many problems.
     
  14. Nrets

    Nrets Member

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    I live in the one community in California that has a strong Nazi subculture.
    The place where the Rodney King trial was held. I'm not kidding about the Nazi subculture. When I used to deliver car parts, there was a house with a Swastika paited on the wall and candles around it.
    Anyway. I slept on this, and I had to ask myself this morning, did that really happen?
    It did.
    And you know, I have a bad anxiety problem.
    That is one of my many struggles.
    I realized the one conclusion I can come to that will make me feel better.
    I am going to label myself.
    I am a freedom figher.
    I always knew I would be something like this. Injustice always pissed me the hell off.
    My dream is to live in a world where there are no labels, and people love whoever they love without outside influences.
    My goal is personal liberation.
    Next time this happens, I will spit back. He will throw the first punch and we'll see where it goes.
    I considered rationalizing with this asshole, but I could see with his body language that there was no talking to him.
    "I didn't say shit to you" illicited "why a e you throwing bottles" when he was the one who threw the bottle.
    He was smaller than me.
    But he had a friend.
    And my friend is an accountant...so I was pretty much on my own.
     
  15. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    That sucks dude. Remember that situations like that can land you in the hospital with brain damage. At the least, you may be the one charged with assault. I pushed an ignorant friend of a roommate out of the house last year after he had been pushing his luck for months and he told the cops I assaulted him. He eventually dropped charges when he realized he was going to have to come to court and testify about his sorry self.

    Self-defense is good to know I'm sure, but I'd say run the other way. Who cares if they think you're chicken? It's easy to end up a bloody mess. One guy holds you while the other guy beats you.

    There's too many people on the coasts. On the surface California is the quintessential melting pot, but events like Rodney King bubble the scum to the top.

    My advice is to work on your sprint and distance too.
     
  16. chico8

    chico8 New Member

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    Dude, you were really stupid. Don't ever start sharing feelings with a friend in a place where you can be overheard. You might also consider lowering your voice in public places.

    There's nothing worse than hearing somebody go on and on in a voice loud enough for the entire world to hear. There's a time and a place for everything. You made a bad choice.

    I'm really truly sorry that you got picked on. I've been in a similar situation and know what you're going through. But a word to the wise, the rest of the world really isn't interested in your sexual exploits. Keep your voice down in public areas.
     
  17. angelfallen

    angelfallen New Member

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    You hate from others what you hate from you.

    You did great, nothing to do with someone like that guy, bring up light to your life and leave those people live in their shadows.
     
  18. Nrets

    Nrets Member

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    I dunno. I am really not a very hateful person. But serioulsy after that dude spit on me, I seriously wanted to grab a bottle of Colt 45 and just break it on his face. It is a fact that I talk too much and too personally, and maybe I should shut up...but all I got to say is: offended people is one thing. Homicidal people is another. This guy seriously wanted to hurt me over something that he heard me say. I didn't know anyone could hear me. We were specifically one the other end of the parking lot to avoid people.
    I would never react that way to anything anyone said to me. That is a fact. You could name the most heinous horrid or perverted action and I wont try to hurt you over it. That said when people try to hurt me, I become angry. That guy deserved to have his face broken in.
     
  19. thick_1

    thick_1 New Member

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    Hey..Be glad you don't live in IRAN.....
     
  20. Principessa

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    Unfortunately it doesn't really matter where he lives, that could have happend in any state in the union. :mad:

    [quote=chico8;1039237]Dude, you were really stupid. Don't ever start sharing feelings with a friend in a place where you can be overheard. You might also consider lowering your voice in public places. I'm glad you said that! I was afraid I was the only one thinking it. :redface:
    There's a time and a place for everything. You made a bad choice.
    I'm really, truly sorry that you got picked on. As am I. I've been in a similar situation and know what you're going through.But a word to the wise, the rest of the world really isn't interested in your sexual exploits. Keep your voice down in public areas. [/quote] Straight people would be well advised to heed this warning as well. I really don't want to have to explain to my 77 yr. old mother that a ball gag is not a dog toy when having lunch at Johnny Rockets in the mall. :redface::mad:
    Agreed.


    Nrets, I am going to say something which you may not like; but please know that I mean you no ill will. I don't think you know who you are. :frown1: You need to see a therapist who is experienced in dealing with GLBT issues. . . IMMEDIATELY!

    Last month you proudly proclaim that you are gay and happy with the freedom it allows you. This month you attempt sex with a woman who is best described as a she devil. You put yourself into a dangerous situation which could have ended up with you in the hospital or worse. I'm afraid for you, you're being reckless. :frown1:
     
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