Guy was ready to fight me because I was openly talking about gay feelings.

earllogjam

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Nrets,

I am sorry you had to go through that. I can understand how you could be shaken up and feel marginalized and angry but see the incident for what it really is - the outlashing of a pathetic human being. This guy obviously has personal problems that you had no part in making. In no way did you bring this upon yourself, nor is there anything wrong with you, anything. Bullies give their abuse freely so don't feel singled out and he most likely has been taught to be like this or has suffered the same abuse himself.

Don't waste your time running this incident over in your head beating yourself up or feeling inferior in any way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or how you handled the situation. It is the same way you deal with a crazy person. Just have a game plan on what you're going to do if it happens again.

You know, incidents like this aren't always negative - only if you view it that way. You've discovered how resilient and strong you really are and that's a good thing.

Big hug to you.

Earl
 

yngjock20

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[quote=chico8;1039237]Dude, you were really stupid. Don't ever start sharing feelings with a friend in a place where you can be overheard. You might also consider lowering your voice in public places. I'm glad you said that! I was afraid I was the only one thinking it. :redface:
[/quote]

I was thinking that as well...except I don't think you're stupid, just misguided. Being candid and public about private issues is just something you should be weary about. Not just because, in your situation, the worse case scenario occurs; but also because you shouldn't want everyone to know your business.

I mean, just look at our leading ladies: Paris, Lindsay and Britney. These are extreme cases, but nonetheless, all of them have publicly shared private situations that then became all too public. You really don't want to end up with the whole town coming up with explanations and conjured stories about what you do (or don't do) in the privacy of your own bedroom.
 

datdude

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I have seen that behavior before in my life. Makes me feel sorry for gay guys sometimes, depending where you live.

The sad thing is that redneck probally has 5 kids who will be retards like him. There is to many stupid rednecks out there already.

I dont think he was secretly gay, I just think he was mean and likes to pick on people. If you where 6'4 and 345 pounds of muscle, he wouldnt have said shit.
 

B_Jennuine73

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Nrets, I'm sorry you had to go through this.

I witnessed an assault at a gay bar where 3 men attacked a gay man who was walking his chick friend to her car.

I grabbed a piece of concrete and threatened to bash their heads in. What we and the homophobic shit fucks didn't realize was the guy they were picking on was a black belt. Oh, it was a beautiful sight when he beat the shit out of all of them.

That kind of hatred makes me sick. If you are not a gay guy/girl, fine, but why be such fucking pricks?
 

Nrets

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Nrets, I am going to say something which you may not like; but please know that I mean you no ill will. I don't think you know who you are. :frown1: You need to see a therapist who is experienced in dealing with GLBT issues. . . IMMEDIATELY!

Last month you proudly proclaim that you are gay and happy with the freedom it allows you. This month you attempt sex with a woman who is best described as a she devil. You put yourself into a dangerous situation which could have ended up with you in the hospital or worse. I'm afraid for you, you're being reckless. :frown1:[/quote]


Thanks for your concern, but honestly, I do know who I am. I am a person who struggles with the many variables of his personality.

I proclaimed I was gay so that I wouldn't feel guilty about feelings I have for guys.

I hooked up with this girl because I was attracted to her her.

I told my friend in a parking lot that if I really go all the way with her in some better situation, and it still doens't feel right, then I might try hooking up with a guy.

This guy throws a glass bottle across the lot at our feet.

Nobody deserves that kind of treatment.

I don't think I need therapy. There is really nothing they can tell me that I haven't thought already.

I don't believe the guy is secretly gay.... He is just really misguided. Angry.

Next time I may misguide a bottle into his face.


BTW, I sometimes bear a passing resemblance to Che
 

HotBulge

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On the issue of the aggressor, speculating that he may harbor homosexual tendencies is perhaps not the most relevant aspect of his behavior. The aggressor seems like one of those people - guys in particular - who look for any sort of excuse or spark to release aggression. He wanted to contrive some pseudo-justifiable reason to release a warped sense of righteous anger and take his aggressions ot on you. If you had engaged you, you would have been a casualty of his excuse to fight, simply for the experience. He was antagonizing you in the hopes that you would strike back. Thank God you didn't take the bait.

I would advise some degree of discretion with your private conversations. You do not need to hide your feelings about matters, but not all personal matters need to be broadcast in public. Let me provide an example where I made the same mistake: Five years ago, I was sitting in UNOs in a university town, describing how a 26 year old male grad student was hitting on a n 18 year old male student, making the undergrad feel terribly uncomfortable . I jokingly used the phrase, "Who's your Daddy?" in reference to the predatory nature of the grad student. A father and his 5 year old son were sitting at the table next to us when I loudly asked the question, "Who's your Daddy??" The father gave me the ugliest look when he caught my attention. I looked over and said "Excuse me". Even though I was having a legitimate conversation about predatory behavior of a gay man, I didn't need to broadcast the conversation in a public case with more "innocent" ears around. This example is in no way comparable to your situation with being nearly attacked, but some personal conversations do not necessarily need to occur, in full voice, in public places.
 

SpoiledPrincess

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I understand the need to be open and honest about your sexuality but there are times and places for proclaiming those in a loud voice, sexuality is to a degree private and talking about it with friends in a relaxed atmosphere is one thing, talking about it loudly enough to be overheard in a car park is quite another. Guys like the ones who reacted badly to what they heard are just full of hate, and if they're not reacting badly to someone who they perceive as gay they're reacting badly to someone whose politics don't mesh with theirs or someone who looked at them 'funny'. Just be more careful, it's not a matter of keeping things secret but do strangers ever really need to hear your business?
 
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Nrets

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Yeah, I will be try to be more careful in the future. But if it ever comes to that again, I may fight. Like no matter who I end up loving in the future, one of my things is I want to be the man...you know, the one who takes absolutely no shit. That guy made me feel dirty. Not a good feeling.
BTW, NJ, @ 6, 1 and 185, I am built like Holyfield was at my age, just a little softer around the edges...
 

mountainguy

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Sorry that happened to you, nrets. Everyone should be able to feel physicalyl safe. A guy in line at a grocery store once threatened to punch me for being a "faggot" when I hadn't done or said anything that would have indicated my sexual orientation. I calmly walked away from the situation (abandoning my shopping cart in the process), which made him even more enraged, but I managed to keep my wits and got out without any physical altercation.

And even though it sucks, I would suggest trying to not to respond with violence if at all possible. It simply isn't worth the possibility of medical injury or involvement with the criminal justice system.