nabludatelj, as you’ve been told your OP isn’t well phrased; I think I get what you are asking. Many guys love blow jobs. Some don’t. Most would rather hump than get blown. Maybe you are neither oral nor inclined to kick back and get serviced.
Just be you.
As to your not enjoying getting blown by a guy, Most straight guys don’t want a guy to blow them. Some basically straight guys really enjoy it. Often these same guys have a history of happy experiences when they were adolescent.
Some straight guys have heard gay guys are good at sucking and try it. Some of them dig it.
Personally, I’ve gay and very oral. I love blowing a guy and swallowing. I like getting blown. I’m wild about getting blown through a glory hole. With the right guy, I’m nuts about 69. When blowing a guy, I probably like glory holes or his kicking back and my crawling between his legs.
Sounds to me as if it would be nice to read what you think when you finally get to screw. I’m guessing you might find your thing. Were you more bi, it would be interesting to read what your take might be on getting blown through a glory hole. First off, you don’t have to see the guy, and bracing yourself against a wall might make a difference.