Okay, here's my take on the whole anger issue...
If a guy is holding out on me, I tend to think he's manipulating me for other reasons. And I certainly don't want to be in a position to having to ask, or beg. It's a really fast turn-off for me if my guy is withholding without me understanding why. I am very empathetic to certain situations which may cause a man not to be interested at any one moment, so I don't expect to get f**ked on demand ever.
If I was angry or upset with my partner, I don't think I'd be holding out/manipulating my lover, rather a couple of things might happen:
1) I don't like going to bed angry, and I'd like to resolve the anger right away. I might actually become more playful to encourage him get over the anger so he can clear his head (pun intended), and/or 2) I suppose depending on what's causing the anger for him and he's not responsive, I just may simply quickly shut down, turn off if you will, creating a lack of desire all together.
Isn't it interesting how a woman can turn on and off so quickly, wich begs the question, what makes a woman happy, but what about the unhappiness that is being created in the relationship? That's because lovemaking, sex, for most women is an emotional matter. And if you're in a relationship enough so that "anger" is going to upset your sex life, surely in a healthy relationship, wouldn't both parties want to resolve their anger, differences, and get on with the fun stuff and/or at least go to bed knowing things are right? If not, I suspect there's something else going on, that anger is being used as a weapon for something else...
Any man that's going to withhold sex because of anger, and not take steps to alleviate the problem causing the anger, is creating an "emotionally abusive" situation, since women and sex equals charged emotions. I think many women would agree with me.
And if you're in a dating relationship, and the man is withholding, not resolving the problems, this is just a sign of things to come... I've learned you can't change a man, only HE can take steps to change. So watch out for this dynamic early on.
I also suspect men often create anger, arguments, because they simply just are "not interested tonight, honey." Men are often overworked, stressed, have performance issues, and anxiety dealing with other issues not entirely related to their relationship that's going to cause men to withhold, but they are unable to talk about it openly with their spouses, significant other, etc. And too often women begin to think, what's wrong with me, doesn't he like me anymore? Did I say something wrong? Do something? I've been through this scenario before. It's too bad some men just aren't comfortable enough talking about these things with their loved ones.
