i've read quite a few posts on both this site and others where gay/bi guys talk about sleeping with, fooling around with, or having some sort of an affair/relationship with "straight" men. if this sounds like you, could you share your story on how it came to be and what happened? what's your relationship like with that person now?
guys hooking up with straight men
- Thread starter madman411
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For me it's been both from being hit on online, and I found out later that they were straight/curious/married/engaged/etc., as well as with a friend/acquaintance. So my "how" varies. I'm not sure what it is about me, but I've been the "test drive" on a couple of occasions, where they've tried out their curiosity. Apparently, "discretion" is tattooed on my forehead, because I've heard, "...because I know I can trust you..." each time. Their "change" to the relationship, is a touch of guilt/denial. From my side, no change, or even consider us more familiar friends.
concupisys
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i wouldn't just get naked with a guy who's gay/bi-curious.... i just talk to them about their feelings and try to help them come to an honest conclusion about who they are.... sometimes it's just a phase, other times it's a reality.... curious guys really appreciate it when they can explore their sexuality without actually having to sleep with anyone.... i try to provide these guys with a safe place where they can just say what they feel and not be judged or ridiculed.... many gays don't think so, but it can be very damaging to a person's life to just jump the gun and climb in to bed.... sometimes the consequences of that can be devastating....
how do you come to learn of their curiosity? most straight men would never admit they have any interest in men.
porn_addict
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It's like the next frontier or something. When I really think about it, it's the super masculine energy I'm attracted to. I've been hooking up with a married dude for YEARS and just realized he was married this year. He never wore his wedding band until one day. I saw it and asked, "uh, did you just get married?" He answered sheepishly, "nah." We still hook up. I just jerk him off.
concupisys
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no, i'm just an open and friendly person who doesn't see their curiosity as a signal to try and get in their pants.... gay people who ARE out seem to forget that they were once in the same situation and didn't have anyone they could talk to about their feelings.... so then those people feel they have to sneak around and hide who they are from the lives that they created for themselves.... and then what happens? they get caught by someone in a bath house, or a family member finds them on a gay website, or worse yet: their WIFE finds out because some gay-associated charge lands on a credit card bill or the guy they're sneaking around with suddenly calls.... or much, much worse.... it can destroy a person.... entire families even.... as a gay man, who the hell am i to take advantage of someone in such a vulnerable situation? that kind of behaviour is the reason why the bulk of homophobia exists.... or why men who are confused about their sexuality suddenly lash out in violence, or put themselves in to horrible marriages and have children who, if not the epitome of masculinity will have it beaten in to them.... it's all well and good to fantasize about being a man's 'first'.... but at what cost? i take it upon myself to be considerate, sensitive, sympathetic and understanding, and i help them to come to self-realizations that make them proud to be gay and not ashamed....
concupisys
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true story:
a high school friend of mine woke up and realized one day after 20 years of living a macho, straight life in a macho, straight and homophobic family that he might be gay.... he had no gay friends (i wasn't even 'out' yet), and there was no internet or gay websites where he could explore his feelings in a safe and private place.... many of his friends outside our circle were highly homophobic, and they saw gay bashing as a rite of passage.... this person had even beaten people to within an inch of their lives several times before he was even old enough to drink.... with nowhere to turn, he tried desperately and discretely to find someone who could help him understand what he was going through and what to do about it, and all those people wanted to do was get in his pants.... he ended up killing himself before his 21st birthday....
a high school friend of mine woke up and realized one day after 20 years of living a macho, straight life in a macho, straight and homophobic family that he might be gay.... he had no gay friends (i wasn't even 'out' yet), and there was no internet or gay websites where he could explore his feelings in a safe and private place.... many of his friends outside our circle were highly homophobic, and they saw gay bashing as a rite of passage.... this person had even beaten people to within an inch of their lives several times before he was even old enough to drink.... with nowhere to turn, he tried desperately and discretely to find someone who could help him understand what he was going through and what to do about it, and all those people wanted to do was get in his pants.... he ended up killing himself before his 21st birthday....
concupisys
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Exactly. I think it was best expressed a while back when the "Do straight guys let other men blow them" thread was countered with the parodic "Do straight women let lesbians eat them out" thread.
motorcityboy
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Life isn't always black and with . Just because a guy hooks up with another guy doesn't make him gay. there are bi guys and curious guys out there . A lot of gay guys just want to make EVERY guy who has ever done anything with another guy gay. I know several guys that have at one time or another messed around with another guy and some are happy and married , sometimes the wife knows some times not .
Let's flip it , what if it's a women does that mean she a lesbian just because she sometimes likes sex with a woman ? If that's true there are going to be a lot of pissed off straight guys , cause that seems to be their number one fantasy ?, sorry guys their all lesbos , what about all the women who experiment in college, must all be lesbos too, dam that makes a lot of lesbos , all those girls on girls gone wild , lesbos .
I understand some guys do struggle with it , but some of us just enjoy it from time to time and judging or telling a guy " you are gay , just come out " I feel isn't being fair .
Let's flip it , what if it's a women does that mean she a lesbian just because she sometimes likes sex with a woman ? If that's true there are going to be a lot of pissed off straight guys , cause that seems to be their number one fantasy ?, sorry guys their all lesbos , what about all the women who experiment in college, must all be lesbos too, dam that makes a lot of lesbos , all those girls on girls gone wild , lesbos .
I understand some guys do struggle with it , but some of us just enjoy it from time to time and judging or telling a guy " you are gay , just come out " I feel isn't being fair .
buffaloboy
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I think we should just accept that people are sexual; we don't need labels.
redneckgymrat
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Not all people are sexual, either. There is a very tiny percentage of us, for whom that switch never "turned on." And, no, there is nothing biologically/chemically wrong with us.
Notice that I didn't specify anything on my orientation...none of the choices actually fit me.
Technically, the orientation is called asexual. But my friends have nicknamed me "Sheldon."
Notice that I didn't specify anything on my orientation...none of the choices actually fit me.
Technically, the orientation is called asexual. But my friends have nicknamed me "Sheldon."
People either like men, like women, like both to some degree, or like neither. Each of these four concepts can be and is summarized and communicated symbolically with a word, whether "straight," "gay," "bisexual," or "asexual." This verbal and written symbolism to represent ideas and concepts is called language. It's very big in Europe.
There are two sexes, and only so many combinations of what does and does not sexually attract a person. We should all be who we are, and we should own it, not put our heads in the sand. If a man is sexually interested in other men, he isn't straight; he is either gay or bi. There can be a lot of variety in exactly where on the spectrum he is, but everyone is something. I know it's cool to do the "labels are for soup cans" thing, but let's be honest and keep our feet on the ground.
There are two sexes, and only so many combinations of what does and does not sexually attract a person. We should all be who we are, and we should own it, not put our heads in the sand. If a man is sexually interested in other men, he isn't straight; he is either gay or bi. There can be a lot of variety in exactly where on the spectrum he is, but everyone is something. I know it's cool to do the "labels are for soup cans" thing, but let's be honest and keep our feet on the ground.
redneckgymrat
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A remarkably and unexpectedly reasonable statement. Thank you.
And, thank you also for not marginalizing asexuality. Most do. We're the *true* minority. It's just about as common as meeting a unicorn, face to face.
And, thank you also for not marginalizing asexuality. Most do. We're the *true* minority. It's just about as common as meeting a unicorn, face to face.
Red_Rebel
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dude_007
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I would say that's false, but believe what you want to believe.
I have played with many straight dicks
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