I have a tough time resisting the need for servicing a nice cock. I have no desire to have a relationship with a man, or a real sexual relationship. I just want to see, feel and suck a big cock.
I only want to play with dicks bigger than my own. I have played in the past and don't remember what most of the guys even look like! I wouldn't recognize them if I saw them on the dtreet, but their dicks are vivid memories!
I eventually cave and end up sucking a cock by finding someone online, but feel very guilty about it afterwards. Most times I don't even want reciprocity... just want to enjoy making them hard and blow their load in my mouth or on me.
I hope to be able to indulge with my girlfriend's approval or even participation someday. She knows I have done it before i met her during a previous long, bad marriage, but doesn't know the craving is still there.