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Flashman,
Firstly, what does this mean? "...there have been others who have pointed this out in the thread by pointing out a theme in a portion of the gay community which they as gay men found to be disturbing or upsetting."
Secondly, you're under the assumption that I was specifically referring to a straight person when I said to find a friend. I did not say that, I have not explicitly said to go after straight guys. A gay man or lesbian or bisexual person can be just as secure or insecure with their sexuality as a straight person. My point was to find a friend, regardless of sexuality, get a little drunk if you have to, and ask whether or not they'd want to kiss you. Be honest about your intentions as well. Don't deceive your friend by saying it's for someone else if you're doing it more for yourself than for that other person.
Then, if you can't find or don't have a good friend that would be receptive, find a bisexual or homosexual person. I was not joking about that aspect of my comment. I was joking about the idea of making them think they turned a straight person gay for a day. Fuck, I have having to explain my own jokes.
My point with my comments was to find someone where the kiss would mean something if you want it to mean something. If you don't, if you're doing it strictly for your girlfriend's pleasure, then not doing it with a friend might be a better idea. I think I've been pretty clear in stating that each situation has different dynamics depending on many factors, including the people within it, and that different advice will be best applied to those different situations. In some instances, my advice might be best, in others Flashy's advice might be best, and yet still in others advice that hasn't been stated would be best.
Finally, as far as I can tell at this point, my "unjustified but more understandable" comment was made under the assumption that many unwanted kisses are made in non-life threatening situations, and therefore do not require physically or emotionally harsh retribution. This is exactly my point when I say it's unfortunate that an act of love, or affection or sexual attraction, can be met with hostility. Even if the kiss is unwanted, in it's most basic form it's a compliment that says a person loves you in some way. Yes, the person violated your personal space, but it probably was not malicious. Therefore it does not require you to hit that person, or belittle them with words. That would be an indefensible act of self-gratification, which is supported in the American legal system I might add. It is not a "just" response because it does not equal the violation that was committed. Yet I know the limitations of human response and instinct and thought, so I said it is more understandable that a person would react with physicality or insult when a non-consentual kiss does happen. Not justified, but more understandable.
Firstly, what does this mean? "...there have been others who have pointed this out in the thread by pointing out a theme in a portion of the gay community which they as gay men found to be disturbing or upsetting."
Secondly, you're under the assumption that I was specifically referring to a straight person when I said to find a friend. I did not say that, I have not explicitly said to go after straight guys. A gay man or lesbian or bisexual person can be just as secure or insecure with their sexuality as a straight person. My point was to find a friend, regardless of sexuality, get a little drunk if you have to, and ask whether or not they'd want to kiss you. Be honest about your intentions as well. Don't deceive your friend by saying it's for someone else if you're doing it more for yourself than for that other person.
Then, if you can't find or don't have a good friend that would be receptive, find a bisexual or homosexual person. I was not joking about that aspect of my comment. I was joking about the idea of making them think they turned a straight person gay for a day. Fuck, I have having to explain my own jokes.
My point with my comments was to find someone where the kiss would mean something if you want it to mean something. If you don't, if you're doing it strictly for your girlfriend's pleasure, then not doing it with a friend might be a better idea. I think I've been pretty clear in stating that each situation has different dynamics depending on many factors, including the people within it, and that different advice will be best applied to those different situations. In some instances, my advice might be best, in others Flashy's advice might be best, and yet still in others advice that hasn't been stated would be best.
Finally, as far as I can tell at this point, my "unjustified but more understandable" comment was made under the assumption that many unwanted kisses are made in non-life threatening situations, and therefore do not require physically or emotionally harsh retribution. This is exactly my point when I say it's unfortunate that an act of love, or affection or sexual attraction, can be met with hostility. Even if the kiss is unwanted, in it's most basic form it's a compliment that says a person loves you in some way. Yes, the person violated your personal space, but it probably was not malicious. Therefore it does not require you to hit that person, or belittle them with words. That would be an indefensible act of self-gratification, which is supported in the American legal system I might add. It is not a "just" response because it does not equal the violation that was committed. Yet I know the limitations of human response and instinct and thought, so I said it is more understandable that a person would react with physicality or insult when a non-consentual kiss does happen. Not justified, but more understandable.
