Guys seem not to like me

[B_aussie8in]

i'm not gay, or want male attention. But just curious as too why so many guys take a dislike to me most of whom i never talked to. I'm nice, handsome, masculine friendly, not at all aggressive, im kinda shy and thats about it. but for some reason guys dont seem to like me , i get way better on with females then males.

 

[B_Nick8]

I tend to get on more easily with women too. In my next life I think I'll be a lesbian.

To some degree, you may be putting out an off-putting vibe. It's certainly difficult to know for sure, but perhaps you need to look at yourself; the only constant in this equation is you. I doubt anyone can really answer your question without knowing you.

 

[Joseph]

geee aussie... ive known you for years now but i'd say it's fact your "too modest"

pardon my harsh sense of humor, I've had a bad day. So now let me kindly give you the answer: I don't know.

There can be many reasons for that which depend on the fact who you are (which is something i dont know) and who the guys are you wish to meet (complete roulette). Personally 99% of guys I know offline... I hate them... and 99% of the girls I know offline hate me.....

Just look for new guys, perhaps all these guys had something in common.

Sorry if I sound mean again, I'm just giving a long explanation as to why I do not know why...

 

[B_am12388]

i'm not gay, or want male attention. But just curious as too why so many guys take a dislike to me most of whom i never talked to. I'm nice, handsome, masculine friendly, not at all aggressive, im kinda shy and thats about it. but for some reason guys dont seem to like me , i get way better on with females then males.

Maybe it's because they're jealous of your handsome and masculine qualities. :tongue:

Lol, I kind of know where you're coming to from. Guys don't like either, and all of my friends are girls, lol.

 

[lickme69]

I do not know you and cannot explain why for sure, but I have known some people who give off a certain aura of themselves and this is done without even speaking to someone. people may think of you as unapproachable and therefore they do not speak to you and you think they dislike you.

 

[B_625girth]

I said the same thing to my then gf(now wife) years ago, and she said they were just jealous. She said I had a lot going for me, good looks(&big cock), good job, popular with the ladies, good with people talking and listening, upbeat. And some of those same guys I got to know and they admitted after they got to know me that I was a pretty good guy. their first impressions were conceited and cocky but only cuz they were jealous.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

I know a couple of guys who are handsome and shy, the combination can sometimes make them seem a bit standoffish and up themselves to people who don't know them. It's stupid because in fact they're the nicest guys but because they're good looking and a bit quiet people wrongly think they think too much off themselves, it's all to do with the presumptions other people make about them.

It can be really serious sometimes, one of these guys is always getting hassled and gets unlooked for aggression taken out on him from time to time.

What's annoying about it is that if he was cocky and more outgoing people would think he was a conceited bastard. Being good looking can be a curse sometimes, as well as a blessing, because it opens you up to people's stupid ideas of what a good looking person should or is like. Guys straight or gay or anything in between have a genetic impulse to see one another in terms of what kind of competition they represent, and conversely are coded to not see women as competition and to be able to get on with women more comfortably inspite of many human culture's attempts to reverse this ( even if we don't realise this it is the basis of a lot of male-male male-female interaction ) and good looking, nice seeming, intelligent guys can often end up on the losing end of this assessment. I'm not sure if it's possible to remedy this, but there are nice guys out there in the same position as you, my advice would be to seek them out, you'll probably find that there's more guys out there like you than your even aware.

 

[340120]

Check yourself:
- nose hair?
- bad body smell?
- dead cells in your face?
- shiny forehead?
You get the idea... If it's a no to the above and similar, then you may want to catch up on your football or naked girls conversation

 

[B_Nick8]

their first impressions were conceited and cocky

You might want to examine this more closely.

 

[223790]

i'm not gay, or want male attention. But just curious as too why so many guys take a dislike to me most of whom i never talked to. I'm nice, handsome, masculine friendly, not at all aggressive, im kinda shy and thats about it. but for some reason guys dont seem to like me , i get way better on with females then males.

I started falling out with a lot of my buddies when I became successful after university. I wasn't being obnoxious about my success, but many guys can't handle it when they see their peer doing better than they are. They don't call jealousy "the green eyed monster" for nothing. It use to really bother me, but over the years I have become accustomed to the fact that I don't have many buddies anymore and I don't really care now. I get along well with guys in general (gym, etc), but I wouldn't consider any of them close friends. I don't get overly invested anymore trying to build friendships with other guys. Guys who I am friends with tend to drift away for one reason or another, so I can't be bothered putting in the effort anymore (I used to put in a ton of effort in the past). I refuse to apologize for my success. I worked hard for it and earned it without any help from anyone else. I'm very fortunate that my wife is truly my best friend. As long as I have her, nothing else and no one else matters. :biggrin1:

 

[Golfbuddy]

There's a quality some people have: charisma. It cannot be taught, inherited, or learned. You have it or you don't. I don't. And I'm convinced that charisma's opposite also exists. It doesn't matter how smart, good looking, sexy, rich or anything else you are, if you have the anti-charisma you're screwed. I think I have it to an extent. I have never been able to be "one of the guys". I'd be the last person to hang around a bar drinking late with the buddies. Not that I'd want to anyway, and that's another issue. I have too many interests and goals to do what it takes to fit in like that. Other guys seem to sense it. And yes, I relate far better to women than men.

 

[deleted136887]

i'm not gay, or want male attention. But just curious as too why so many guys take a dislike to me most of whom i never talked to. I'm nice, handsome, masculine friendly, not at all aggressive, im kinda shy and thats about it. but for some reason guys dont seem to like me , i get way better on with females then males.

Now let me get this straight: you don't want male attention, all your mates are girls, you're not gay? sounds like heaven to me! Does your girlie mates like beer? Then you have it made.Get them pissed as coots and have your wicked way with them. Good luck .
PS all the guys don't like you ços you obviously have more girl-friends than them?

 

[BIGBULL29]

You do the best you can do at being kind and friendly. That's all you can do.

Most people don't seem to like me either, except for some intellectuals, international backpackers, monks and nuns, gay men and old ladies.

I think men get scared of other men they don't understand. It makes things come across as unfriendliness. It's really sometimes just fear (different lifestyle, mentality, etc). Personally, I hate feeling awkward.

Also, if you get a little too successful in some ways, MEN GET NASTILY JEALOUS! I thought women were the only insanely jealous creatures.

(*I'm talking about penis molds above)

 

[thadjock]

i think ur just insecure, men who aren't alpha dogs generally surround themselves with women, they just feel more safe in a maternal environment. guys can sniff that out in another dude, it's like a tiger smelling weakness on it's prey.

if you don't have a strong sense of you own masculinity you will naturally gravitate to a less threatening/less competitive social group. surround yourself with surrogate "mothers" and you won't have to deal with how you measure up as a man.

even the so called stud who's bangin a different chick every night and doens't have any guy friends has some serious mommy issues going on.

I could never have any respect for that kind of guy, and though i wouldn't be rude or call him out on it, i also wouldn't go out of my way to build a friendship with him either. maybe it's cuz i've always had 3 brothers and a hyper-strong father figure/role model, but hanging out and relating to guys is as natural as breathing air to me, it's easy and I don't even have to think about it.

 

[D_Doe_Ray_Mi]

I said the same thing to my then gf(now wife) years ago, and she said they were just jealous. She said I had a lot going for me, good looks(&big cock), good job, popular with the ladies, good with people talking and listening, upbeat. And some of those same guys I got to know and they admitted after they got to know me that I was a pretty good guy. their first impressions were conceited and cocky but only cuz they were jealous.

I relate to 625's comments. I grew up in a world of women, two older sisters, mom and work-a-holic dad. I just learned how to relate to women better than men. In college when there was a clean slate to start this whole friendship thing over, the guys I'd ask told me they were intimidated by my presence, good looks, intelligence, always with a hot chick on my arm or in my bed, leadership skills and encouraged me to loosen up. A few guys started asking me for help with their Physics or Chemistry homework and in the process got to know me better and the word spread.
I think the key is to find a common denominator and build on that, be your authentic self and look for the good in everyone.
Good luck!

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

i think ur just insecure, men who aren't alpha dogs generally surround themselves with women, they just feel more safe in a maternal environment. guys can sniff that out in another dude, it's like a tiger smelling weakness on it's prey.

if you don't have a strong sense of you own masculinity you will naturally gravitate to a less threatening/less competitive social group. surround yourself with surrogate "mothers" and you won't have to deal with how you measure up as a man.

even the so called stud who's bangin a different chick every night and doens't have any guy friends has some serious mommy issues going on.

I could never have any respect for that kind of guy, and though i wouldn't be rude or call him out on it, i also wouldn't go out of my way to build a friendship with him either. maybe it's cuz i've always had 3 brothers and a hyper-strong father figure/role model, but hanging out and relating to guys is as natural as breathing air to me, it's easy and I don't even have to think about it.

In a strict evolutionary and behavioural genetics sense any male who is capable of making better and more successful relationships with women is in fact an "alpha" male. Beta males in other apes congregate in Bachelor groups, while Alpha males live with the females and get to reproduce. The betas who live collectively sometimes completely separately to the main troop spend a lot of time in aggressive male posturing and fighting in an attempt to dominate the rest of the males within the Bachelor group.

Occasionally the leader of the bachelor group can replace the alpha male in the main troop, but he's only successful long term if he has good social skills when interacting with the females. Terms like "alpha" and "beta" male are frequently misunderstood, both in a general sense and in a more specific sense when talking about human behaviour.

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

um, i could undertsand the whole shy/handsome vibe thing I mean that's me!!! LOL

people think that I'm being arrogant and such but tis really not the case.

I'm just shy and apprehensive about opening up to people at first.

I get one well with both sexes.

 

[BIGBULL29]

i think ur just insecure, men who aren't alpha dogs generally surround themselves with women, they just feel more safe in a maternal environment. guys can sniff that out in another dude, it's like a tiger smelling weakness on it's prey.

if you don't have a strong sense of you own masculinity you will naturally gravitate to a less threatening/less competitive social group. surround yourself with surrogate "mothers" and you won't have to deal with how you measure up as a man.

even the so called stud who's bangin a different chick every night and doens't have any guy friends has some serious mommy issues going on.

I could never have any respect for that kind of guy, and though i wouldn't be rude or call him out on it, i also wouldn't go out of my way to build a friendship with him either. maybe it's cuz i've always had 3 brothers and a hyper-strong father figure/role model, but hanging out and relating to guys is as natural as breathing air to me, it's easy and I don't even have to think about it.

So if your not a man's man, you're automatically have serious mommy issues going on?

Some people just don't relate to men or women in general.

If you don't relate to someone or some group, you just don't relate. We can't force ourselves to not feel awkward.

 

[thadjock]

In a strict evolutionary and behavioural genetics sense any male who is capable of making better and more successful relationships with women is in fact an "alpha" male. Beta males in other apes congregate in Bachelor groups, while Alpha males live with the females and get to reproduce. The betas who live collectively sometimes completely separately to the main troop spend a lot of time in aggressive male posturing and fighting in an attempt to dominate the rest of the males within the Bachelor group.

Occasionally the leader of the bachelor group can replace the alpha male in the main troop, but he's only successful long term if he has good social skills when interacting with the females. Terms like "alpha" and "beta" male are frequently misunderstood, both in a general sense and in a more specific sense when talking about human behaviour.

ya my point was that unless you're able to navigate, understand and compete within the social hierchy of the male of the species, you'll never get to the upper echelon and become an alpha male.

alpha male = dominant male

the OP doesn't exude dominant traits, he retreats to the sanctuary of the female's world, too inhibited to engage other males.

you don't get to be the alpha male by going shopping with the females, you get there by dominating the other males, without that socialization you might as well be neutered.

but hey, if you wanna delude yourself that having more in common with women makes you an alpha male, knock urself out.

 

[invisibleman]

i think ur just insecure, men who aren't alpha dogs generally surround themselves with women, they just feel more safe in a maternal environment. guys can sniff that out in another dude, it's like a tiger smelling weakness on it's prey.

I feel like watching National Geographic. :smile:

if you don't have a strong sense of you own masculinity you will naturally gravitate to a less threatening/less competitive social group. surround yourself with surrogate "mothers" and you won't have to deal with how you measure up as a man.

Measured by what criteria?

even the so called stud who's bangin a different chick every night and doens't have any guy friends has some serious mommy issues going on.

I could never have any respect for that kind of guy

Respect is a hard thing to obtain from anyone. You either get it or you don't. Will you die if you don't get it? Will you lose sleep if you don't get it? No. What if I went through the trouble of gaining someone's respect and win it now...Then later for some reason, lose their respect? Was it worth it in the end--trying to gain someone's respect--after all?
You either gain it or you don't.

, and though i wouldn't be rude or call him out on it,

If it is really important to say, you don't have to be rude or call him out on whatever. Maybe you could express what whatever it is in a nicer way. Every man is different. Not every man can pass criteria of another man. It is like respect: You either get it or you don't.

i also wouldn't go out of my way to build a friendship with him either.

That is cool. There are other men that will be a true friend. Not everyone will want to be your friend. Life is balance.

maybe it's cuz i've always had 3 brothers and a hyper-strong father figure/role model, but hanging out and relating to guys is as natural as breathing air to me, it's easy and I don't even have to think about it.

That is good. Good for you.

It is hard being the man you were meant to be.