Guys that have it "all"

naughty

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I understand what you mean. See my "toilet paper" thread. YOu are "useful" but not valued as a person. As long as you are serving someones needs, and don;t ask for anything in return, you are allowed to exist and be around. THe moment that someone doesn;t need your skills anymore, and are done wiping their shit on you, they flush you away like used toilet paper. And they treat you, before they do, like you are some nasty disgusting thing that they have to get rid of as soon as possible. Those of us who have our "gifts" on the inside--whether it be personality, a giving heart, some useful skill, a good mind, etc. often would LOVE to be fawned over for our externals. Just like those who are only desired for their external characteristics would love to be treated and seen as a whole person, useful, and wanted for the whole package. Unfortunately, people are just damned shallow and selfish. Life would be so much easier if I could just totally not need or want other people in my life, but as much of a loner as I am, I find I really DO want and need those other people in my life. You can either ride the roller coaster, or live in a hole. Doesn;t seem to be any other choice in this life.

Oh David,

Sweetheart it makes me so angry that you feel like this. I hear friends who are so fabulous tell me the same things. The wild thing is the those who run after beauty alone are putting all of their chips on a depreciating asset. I know that does not help you when you are feeling down. but it is true. We are very much influenced by societies ideals. But as you can see there are many people who are considered really attractive who are also going through times of doubt. As I have said in earlier threads, they attract all sorts of individuals and not necessarily those who really care about them. I have two friends (one who is a member here) who were heavy all of their lives and who decided to lose weight. They both assumed that the reason they were not having the life they deserved was because of their weight issues. When the weight came off they discovered that yes they were being noticed but all of a sudden being approached by all sorts of people who wanted to be with or around them for the wrong reasons. The were both angry that all of a sudden they were approachable where months before they were not, and that now it seemed people could not see their wonderful inner qualities for looking at the outside! What can one do ? People can be shallow. Please do not give up hope. I say that to Viking as well. There are many of us looking for our soul mate out here!
 

musclebare9

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Ever had trouble dealing with another guy, or girl for that matter, because of your "having it all"?

I don't have trouble dealing with others because I have it all. I have troubles because others assume that I have it all. I think that this is what many others are saying. I am 6'4" currently around 190 pounds which translates into lean and somewhat muscular. I am fairly good looking and hung. People don't always pick up on the hung part because I don't typically run around with my dick hanging out. People see me and think that I am intimidating and keep a distance (friends have told me this). They create a separation between themselves and me that doesn't need to exist. Growing up I was very skinny, I graduated high school at 6'1" and 136 pounds. I had a difficult time finding clothes that fit. I had a poor self-image and depression that I still deal with today. As a result, I am not always an outgoing and overly friendly person.

None of us have it all. There may be some good days where it looks that way but it doesn't last. Treat others the way you want to be treated and you may be surprised how many new friends you have.
 

prepstudinsc

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Yes I've had trouble. My college pastor's wife and I had a long conversation about this as I was getting ready to graduate. She (who is stunningly beautiful) was telling me that because I was talented, handsome, smart and had my whole life ahead of me, that I would make people jealous and would attract people who want the things I represented. I have found her statement to be very true.

People are attracted for the physical and I have found that in my career as a musician, because I am generally without a performer's ego, that many others despise what I do and have accomplished. At a fairly young age, I had a position at one of the United State's foremost churches--a very visible position. You would not imagine the jealousy and hatred that it brought from other musicians around the country. I am now at another large church and because we built a new building and got a huge new instrument for me to play, I have friends who have verbally expressed their jealousy and can't figure out why I have had good things come my way.

In relationships, people are either one of two ways. They don't care and come on really strong, or they are scared to have a relationship because of physical beauty. While I do think the outside is important, it's the inside that counts. The ones who come on strong only want sex, the ones who are too shy or scared to have a relationship are the ones who I would want, but the exterior shuns them away, because they feel that they are not "worthy"--for lack of a better word.

People who have gifts are entrusted with big responsibilities. For those who are given much, much is required. It's not easy being talented. It's not easy being handsome. In fact, there are days when I wish I could just cruise through life and not be known or just be average. Most of the time, I rejoice in what I've been given and what I can do with it to bless someone else.
 

B_ScaredLittleBoy

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"We all have our problems, some are big, some are small."

You don't know what goes on in other people's lives/heads. Even though they may appear to outwardly "have it all", no one does and everyone has their own problem(s)
 

auncut10in

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I don’t know. I think the longer I live the more I think the secret of being happy in life is being happy with who you are and what you got. There is always someone who is better looking, bigger dick, more money, smarter or whatever. Sometimes I just take the time to sit and watch people. And sometimes I wonder what it would be like to change lives with someone else. Then I look for someone to go by that I would want to make the switch with. And when it comes to that point, I realize there isn’t that many people out there that I would be willing to take upon their problems. I guess I have gotten comfortable with my own problems and don't really want to trade with anyone else. John Lennon sang one of my favorite lines in life. "Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans" I have vowed to live the life I have to its fullest and not live with regret or with self-doubt. It takes effort, but worth every bit of strength that it takes.
 

viking1

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Davidjh7, I well remember your "toilet paper" thread. I know exactly where you are coming from with that one. However, there is little that I can do to change it. I'll never be good looking, have a charismatic personality, or be
well endowed. Those things can't really be changed.

Prepstudinsc, I have seen this very thing with my uncle. He went to Nashville
and hit the big time in country music back in the late sixties. The women just
seem to be drawn to him. With his public exposure as a band member with some of the biggest names in country music at the time, everyone seems to know him. I know he's better looking that I am and has a much better personality, but still...I wish the women would come on to me like that.
Even if it's for all the "wrong reasons" it would make me feel more like a "real man".
 

naughty

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Davidjh7, I well remember your "toilet paper" thread. I know exactly where you are coming from with that one. However, there is little that I can do to change it. I'll never be good looking, have a charismatic personality, or be
well endowed. Those things can't really be changed.

Prepstudinsc, I have seen this very thing with my uncle. He went to Nashville
and hit the big time in country music back in the late sixties. The women just
seem to be drawn to him. With his public exposure as a band member with some of the biggest names in country music at the time, everyone seems to know him. I know he's better looking that I am and has a much better personality, but still...I wish the women would come on to me like that.
Even if it's for all the "wrong reasons" it would make me feel more like a "real man".

Sweet one,

I need to tell you a little story. I think you told most of your problem a little while ago. There was a famous Jazz singer a few years ago who commited suicide, Phyllis Hyman. The woman was absolutely stunning! Yet at an young age she was so depressed that she felt she couldnt go on. A friend of hers another well known singer ,Jennifer Holiday (The first to do the role that Jennnifer Hudson won an Oscar for on Broadway) got a wake up call. SHe was living the life of her character .THinking that no one liked or loved her. It wasnt until she got treatment for her depression that she was able to see that much of what she was experiencing and had been doing to drive people away was her depressive disorder. There are a number of members here who suffer from that disorder and it sticks out like Eyeore's distinctive bray. OH by the way, you are not ugly! You can do it.
 

Matthew

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People who have gifts are entrusted with big responsibilities. For those who are given much, much is required.

That's a great point, Prep. Recently I've seen a couple of our members who were physically blessed in every way make unflattering comments about others here - for example, noting who they thought was overweight, too hairy, or didn't possess the "ideal" body type (for them) in some way.

When they got snarked at, their quizzical responses were along the lines of, "Hey, what's wrong with me just giving my honest opinion?" It's as if they couldn't comprehend how their remarks would be recieved, especially coming from guys who looked like they do.

While I'm sure both guys in question believe their personalities to be equal in high quality to their looks, they clearly didn't realize how their fundamental character flaws undermine their physical beauty and make them ugly to everyone watching.
 

txquis

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Hung or unhung, people are people....nobody has it "all" all the time.

My interest in the many pics of thehung is how they have eluded me. i have often posted here that in my relationships and my encounters from the south to the midwest and my 5 years in NYC: most of my partners have been no bigger than the 6-7 range, like me. I'm not complaining, but most of the hung and beautiful i've seen have been in the galleries, not in person.
 

jeff black

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That's a great point, Prep. Recently I've seen a couple of our members who were physically blessed in every way make unflattering comments about others here - for example, noting who they thought was overweight, too hairy, or didn't possess the "ideal" body type (for them) in some way.

Hey Matty, if they are dickheads, doesn't that mean they dont' have it all?:rolleyes: Lacking a personality doesn't make you sexy.
 

naughty

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That's a great point, Prep. Recently I've seen a couple of our members who were physically blessed in every way make unflattering comments about others here - for example, noting who they thought was overweight, too hairy, or didn't possess the "ideal" body type (for them) in some way.

When they got snarked at, their quizzical responses were along the lines of, "Hey, what's wrong with me just giving my honest opinion?" It's as if they couldn't comprehend how their remarks would be recieved, especially coming from guys who looked like they do.

While I'm sure both guys in question believe their personalities to be equal in high quality to their looks, they clearly didn't realize how their fundamental character flaws undermine their physical beauty and make them ugly to everyone watching.


Once again, you are soooo right. My grandmother used to say to me something comparable. She used to irritate the heck out of me but now I see her wisdom. When we were in a group, someone started to tell black jokes. She didnt say anything then, but when we were alone she simply said, "You can not tell black jokes." I said OK and went on my way. But as life went along I understood the reason for her saying that. Because so many black people have been ridiculed about their color, features and hair , it would not be the prudent thing for me to do when many of the insults did not apply to me even though I myself am black.
The same for thinness, intelligence, and other assets. If you have it, you have a power and the responsibility to be prudent and gracious.
 
D

deleted105034

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There's this saying that I heard one time that I just love:

"You would care a lot less about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do"

The reason it applies to this thread is that all the people that are saying that they're intimidated by people who "have it all" are really only thinking about themselves and what they don't have. Don't fall into the trap of imagining that these adoni are going around saying "I'm better than him, I'm better than him, I'm better than him..." It's just human nature to focus on the self, and whatever shortcomings those people may have, you can bet that's what they're thinking about more than anything.

That being said, I feel I can tell you all (we're all friends right?) that the real place where I excel is in my intellect and creativity. In fact I secretly believe that there's only about one or two people smarter than me that I've ever met! The problem is, why doesn't everybody just instantly notice this and give me all the sweet sweet rewards that I so desperately deserve?:tongue:

I thought for a long time that my ego was unduly inflated and so tried to bash myself back into reality, but I just can't shake this feeling of superiority so I kinda gave up. I think what I'm finally starting to do is just go with it, not compare myself to others so much, not get mad when my "genius" goes unrecognized, or my ideas get stolen, quietly believe in myself, and only compete against myself. I am, after all, my most worthy adversary.:biggrin1:

ANYWAY...I hope that something in there made sense, and I whole-heartedly recommend "Old Chub" beer, available in Whole-Foods supermarkets and local beer fests everywhere:wink:
 

Athleticman60516

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Funily enough, I'm experienceing it at the moment.

Guy at uni, good looks, blond hair, great body, way more intellegent than me, loads of friends, and I found out today that he's hung like horse too.

It's not really jelousy - I don't want to be him. Its this feeling I get when somebody quite close to my little patch of eternity is utterly superior to me in every way, and his little patch seems to be infinitly better than mine. It can make my life seem... well... shit in comparison.

In other words, he makes me feel like shit. And I sort of resent him for that.

I'll get over it in time, but I'm really stressed at the moment, and such feelings don't help much.


Dude, he can't make you feel like shit. Only you can do that.
 

naughty

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As I said , It usually isnt the person who is attractive that is making less attractive people feel bad. It is the comparison between the reaction the attractive get Vs the lack of attention the less attractive get. So the people who are perpetrating the problems are usually the people in between.
 

Mr. Snakey

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Sweet one,

I need to tell you a little story. I think you told most of your problem a little while ago. There was a famous Jazz singer a few years ago who commited suicide, Phyllis Hyman. The woman was absolutely stunning! Yet at an young age she was so depressed that she felt she couldnt go on. A friend of hers another well known singer ,Jennifer Holiday (The first to do the role that Jennnifer Hudson won an Oscar for on Broadway) got a wake up call. SHe was living the life of her character .THinking that no one liked or loved her. It wasnt until she got treatment for her depression that she was able to see that much of what she was experiencing and had been doing to drive people away was her depressive disorder. There are a number of members here who suffer from that disorder and it sticks out like Eyeore's distinctive bray. OH by the way, you are not ugly! You can do it.
He is a very nice looking guy. Many people have the same opinion. I dont think Viking has looked in the mirror:smile: