Guys who can’t get hard

[Deloo1]

I have problems getting and staying hard, but it's due to all kinds of anxiety (performance, general, etc). And along with some ADHD, we could be all hot and heavy making out or whatever and I'd actually be like making my grocery list in my mind. I need someone who can distract me from myself. Pull me into a moment where nothing matters except what we're doing. That will get me harder than anything else. It can't be just the sex or it's not going to happen. I do apologize to the ones I can't get it up for. I genuinely am sorry I can't 'rise to the occasion'. But keep trying and maybe I'll get there. I'm not saying it's the other person's fault of course!

You described everything I go through with anxiety and adha (the grocery list thing Is very accurate) it got to the point where I started viagra and that doesn’t even work all the time. You should feel good about sex but I feel horrible for them, embarrassed and unsatisfied.

 

[kr8zy]

Sex is so much more than getting hard. I am putting the drunks and druggies aside, as that is a totally different matter.

Seems like your focus is on getting off. If they are upset with you about not getting off then it sounds like they are not into the sex to begin with. Focus less on insertion and more on other forms of contact and activity. If it is good, you don't WANT the other person to get off, because that spells the end. And just because you can't get hard doesn't mean you can't ejaculate. For some it takes a little more work, and for some the real pleasure doesn't even come from ejaculation anyways. If they seem like they just can't get off start asking what really works for them when they are by themselves. They probably have found some other pleasure zones that you may have never thought of before.

And as always, if you are expecting something be upfront about it. Sex is a bit like shoping - you need to find someone who is selling what you need. Everyone is shopping for somethg different - there is someone out there with what you are looking for, and conversely someone out there is needing exactly what you are offering.

 

[deleted18388141]

In my first sexual active years when i though i was only bottom it was impossible for me to get hard
untill i met this guy who made me feel comfortable about myself! I learnt to let go and enjoy
it s really hard to get there
and surprisingly i top more than i bottom now
but yeah sometimes it doesn t stay hard for whatever reason but well

 

[BigAl9]

So far this has been very interesting reading. I have experienced much of what has been mentioned. Me not getting hard or not cuming as well as my partner soing the same. But then again the opposite is true also. No difficulty in getting hard or cuming. I am primarily a top, but do enjoy being a bottom. I am also in my mid 80s. Not cuming does not mean that the sex was not enjoyable. Often times the playing and enjoying each other is just as rewarding as having a happy ending.

 

[deleted784661]

So far this has been very interesting reading. I have experienced much of what has been mentioned. Me not getting hard or not cuming as well as my partner soing the same. But then again the opposite is true also. No difficulty in getting hard or cuming. I am primarily a top, but do enjoy being a bottom. I am also in my mid 80s. Not cuming does not mean that the sex was not enjoyable. Often times the playing and enjoying each other is just as rewarding as having a happy ending.

Wise words of wisdom, spoken from experience