guys who dont have a dad...

D_Malcolm_MacPudd

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im curious about what that does for a guy growing up without a dad. Ive met a few who were outright ballsy and i always thought it was because they didnt have a dad to teach them man etiquette. Does it make a guy more sexually promiscuous? Does it make a guy more independent?
 

NC_BBC

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im curious about what that does for a guy growing up without a dad. Ive met a few who were outright ballsy and i always thought it was because they didnt have a dad to teach them man etiquette. Does it make a guy more sexually promiscuous? Does it make a guy more independent?


Too many variables to say what it does. What it does to one person, it may not do to someone else. And you have to factor in all the environmental variables. A kid who comes form money who grew up without a father probably won't turn out the same as a kid from an inner city situation.

It can cause a kid to land anywhere psychologically. Promiscuous, lazy, lacking confidence, OVER confident because he always has something to prove....etc.... All depends on the remaining environmental factors after the dad is gone.
 
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Infernal

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My parent divorced when I was 4, and for the most part my father was not involved in my life. He loved showing me off during summer visits, but beyond that he wasn't there. My mother was a full parent. She taught me respect, manners, and everything else I needed. We used to laugh that the only thing she wasn't able to teach me was how to shave. Now at 43, I have no contact with my father (his choice), and I've done just fine without him.
 

D_Malcolm_MacPudd

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i know for me having a father haults me from alot of things cause i dont want to dissapoint him. i feel like if i grew up without one somehow id be more independent. i know that sounds weird but alot of people without fathers seem to be more independent and self-made.
 

Shenlong

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It teaches confusion... Interesting question. I do agree that there are too many variables; buuuut I believe it definitely teaches the boy confusion at an early age.

Why am I different, why do I not have a dad, what is my dad like. Should I hate him?
 

qwerty1234567

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It's lead me to misconstrue relationships with older men. I never had a father figure or any older male to talk about my somewhat arcane interests. So whenever I meet someone that fits the bill (always in professional/academic settings) I tend to have feelings of transference towards them. And they're are times where I catch myself and have to say to myself thats he's Mr. Smith, not your father. It's tough but I can manage.
 

qwerty1234567

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For those not familiar with the concept of transference:

"When we create paternal transference, we turn the other person into either our father or an idealized father-figure. Fathers are powerful, authoritative and wise. They protect us and tell us what to do. They know many things. They provide a sense of control in our lives. They make us feel safe.
We often transfer as a four- or five-year old child, where 'father knows best' and the pattern is one of trust and compliance. When we regard higher-level leaders (e.g. a company CEO).
 

getrad

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I would have been better without one. Mine was a pedophile and started "doing me" 4. Hi was also a drunk like mom. My life as a child was hell. I did get past all of it but it took quite a long time. They are both dead, halleluiah for that one. Qwerty might learn something from this one.
 

HungThickProf

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As I believe I've stated in previous posts, my dad was gay and he was out of the picture right after I turned 2.

There were some internal questions such as "does my dad not love me?" "was I a horrible son?" When I was about 9, I stopped asking those questions and just accepted the fact that he wasn't present. As it's been mentioned, there are definitely a lot of confounds that of course differ from individual to individual. If anything, I don't believe that my father's absence caused any issues with me- I just sorta sucked it up and moved forward. I don't have daddy issues, I'm confident in myself, and it gave me the opportunity to see that gender roles are stupid.
 

Cecil56

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My Dad left the state at the age of two, I have no home memories of him.

In grade school, I had no concept of how to play baseball or football with the other guys. It sucked. I had a GREAT MOM....but.....!

Then in 5th grade I had a guy start bullying me, and I let him. That went on for two years or so and I was scared to death. It was all I ever thought about and I skipped classes many times. Still pisses me off 40 years after the fact!

One day after class, he cornered me. I was scared to death and in tears, no where to run! I was bawling my eyes out like a baby. Twisted his arm behind his back and ended up breaking the arm, all the while, I beat the shit out of his face. He was a bloody whimpering idiot when I finished. I did it out of TOTAL FEAR, and cried my heart out afterwards! I was not a tough guy, just scared.

After that, nobody at my school ever fucked with me again. I grew up that day and swore I would never get bullied again, and I haven't. I joined wrestling in junior high. That gave me an edge for any following street fights. Even if they could "out punch me", I would take them down to the ground and win the fight. I'm still a decent person and hate fighting. We should love one another and get along. It's just nice knowing, I'll whoop your ass if needed, but I would MUCH rather be your friend! My point of view.
 

Hoss

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Every man is different some gain a sort of strength and drive from being without a dad in their life, others sort of crumble and always feel bad and as if they are at fault. Having a father at home and always present can be good if the man is a positive force and good at guidance, or it can be bad if he is always angry and not happy with life.
Bottom line is everybody reacts to life in their own way.
 

travis7

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I had a step dad... But he was no father. The only active thing he ever did with me was beat my ass. NO fishing, no teaching me how to catch a ball, .. Nothing.. Everything I learned was from my brothers or other dads..
Now, I know more about home repair and handy man stuff then him. As well as working on my own car and truck ..
So. You don't need a father , you have good company around you to teach you about life.
Having a computer helps too... Haha
 
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My Dad is awesome - kinda bookish and a bit eccentric, but kind and thoughtful.

I've still had plenty of probs tho, so maybe it's just one of many things that may or may not make a difference. It all depends on the Dad I guess, and whether the situation's actually better if he leaves (or not).

I still had plenty of working things out by myself to do, because he's a bit reticent about addressing things or being proactive - so I had to do most if it myself. I've come to understand him a lot better since I was 18 or so. He was kinda... superstrict when we were kids, as he was religious and a bit paranoid. :/
 

MisterSlave

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To attach an addendum to Qwerty's words. . . Many Sub-Men into BDSM, wind up calling their (sir) or Dom, "daddy". . Some men get into Head-games with a sexual twist. and add (dad-issues) to the dynamic.

If I were to speculate as to the reason WHY, for this. . I would have to say it comes from the topic of this discussion. That some people have Transference, to their DOM.

just a lil extra to think about,

Mr. Slave.