Guys who work out at the gym...questions..

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Daisy, Jun 6, 2009.

  1. Daisy

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    Guys I have questions about the gym. I work out about 5 days a week and I see some guys on a fairly regular basis. I go in the later afternoon or evening because I like to go when there are a lot of people around (helps my energy level). So what I want to know is WHY does it seem like guys don't notice me, or ever look at me? First of all, I am not a supermodel but I'm tall, in good shape and usually wear rather fitted tops at the gym. Nobody looks at me...nobody makes eye contact...the older guys with big bellies, the young college guys, big, small whatever nobody ever looks, nobody smiles. They all seem to be talking to eachother or concentrating on the machines.

    Now...before you think I'm vain...It just seems like human nature that people as they pass eachother would naturally look, smile or generally acknowledge eachother, right???

    Of course I want to hot guys to look at me, god knows I look at them (flirt with my eyes) but they dont seem to notice.

    One thing is, my trainer told me that maybe guys who REALLY arent looking are the ones who are looking but trying not to look. Could this be true?

    Its giving me a complex! Do you look??? Do you flirt?? Do you even notice the girls at the gym? Do you try not to look?

    BTW I dont see any guys checking out any girls so I dont think it's just me..
     
  2. D_76froy

    D_76froy New Member

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    I think you need to go to another gym. All the guys at your gym must be gay if they're not looking at you. I check out the girls at my gym all the time.....it's normal. Why not look? I get lots of looks and smiles in return, and I've dated a few of the women that go to the same gym.
     
  3. dtw-W-Boy

    dtw-W-Boy New Member

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    I have a Bowflex knockoff made by Bowflex so I could be completely off base due to my lack of gym experience, but what part of Cali are you in? The last sentence left me with one scenario, but the other could simply be the people in the gym are just highly focused.
    From what I can see of your pics, you really shouldn't be taking it personal in the least.
     
  4. Industrialsize

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    AH...Men at the gym are too busy looking at THEMSELVES>.
     
  5. Daisy

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    Oh no...this is a very suburban family oriented area. Im sure there are gay guys there but I would say most are not gay.

    One guy who is driving me crazy is my gym crush..OK he's married, but what married guy doesnt LOOK at least. This man has never made eye contact with me once...ever. I practically stare at him on the treadmill and he never looks up. Ugh.
     
  6. D_Ollyvalle Treegirth

    D_Ollyvalle Treegirth Account Disabled

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    Am no expert on this since I'm gay, but I do go to the gym obsessively. Strikes me there are 3 possible explanations, already all mentioned -- 1-some guys there are gay 2-- even if str8, they're focused on the workouts and trying NOT to socialize (as any really serious guy will be), 3--they're just narcissists and are too busy checking themselves out in the mirror
    (of course reason #1 and reason #2 can both overlap handily with reason #3!)

    p.s. your pix ARE beautiful....it is not YOU.
     
    #6 D_Ollyvalle Treegirth, Jun 6, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2009
  7. Moez???

    Moez??? Active Member

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    this was actually a discussion I had with my friends. None of us look at girls, or approach them, because they seem like they just want to work out. I guess just because girls, who are working out, will inevitably have a tired or stressed look on their face, and that makes me think they are annoyed when I do look at them.

    Or how some gyms have a female only section. Makes me think "Wow, girls are really that uncomfortable being stared at while working out." So i try not to look out of politeness. I mean, gyms usually are overwhelmingly male, so i try to think of how they feel. 10 guys staring at her while she is doing stretches?

    I hear mixed things. My girl friends get really annoyed when guys approach them while they are at the gym. They are panting and sweaty, and don't want to make small talk. So maybe that's what other guys think too? I dont know.
     
  8. hardbodystud101

    hardbodystud101 Well-Known Member

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    I have heard women complain that they get sick of guys staring at them at the gym. It makes them feel uncomfortable and so they do not go as much. I dont make a lot of eye contact with the women because most of the time you dont get eye contact back. Makes people uncomfortable so I try not to be obvious. I do however take a peek in the mirrors at different angles so they don't always notice me sneaking in a peak.
     
  9. nice_guy_here

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    I work at a gym and I've found this too, that guys tend not to look at women ... however, and this is a big however, they do seem to notice them. I think that guys are acutely aware that many women do not feel comfortable in a gym when guys are staring at them. It might be that they don't overtly stare so as to not scare you off and so you will actually come back. Other than that, like other people have said, there could be a number of reasons not just limited to narcisism and homosexuality. Some guys, like women, are just there to train. Others may not have to confidence to actually return the gestures. If it's just a case of wanting guys to look at you, go swimming - plenty of guys stare at the women that frequent our pool. Alternatively, move to Britain and come to my gym, I'd sure as hell say hello and smile back
     
    #9 nice_guy_here, Jun 6, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2009
  10. Daisy

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    ahhhh...those damn mirrors! Moez brings up a good point, when I work out my face gets red and I get really sweaty so maybe I dont look as friendly as I think I do. But if you see a girl in a tight t shirt with D cup boobs dont you naturally at least look there!?
     
  11. ripvanwinkle

    ripvanwinkle New Member

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    women condition us not to look, especially at the gym. it's kind of like a workplace; to get a good workout you need to be focused. so looking/flirting can be distracting and irritating. it is a respect thing. men appreciate women in the gym, especially nice looking ones like you. so the last thing we want to have happen is to make you feel uncomfortable and join a women only gym.

    then there's the other aspect of us not staying focused on a good workout. and when we are hot and sweaty, it doesn't take much imagination to get hard and where can we hide that?:redface: especially when we have skin tight pants that add stimulation to a creeping boner that we might be able to get control of with looser clothes.

    like the time i was on a stationary bike. the very nice looking woman on the bike in front of me was bent over and her shorts were so tight, i swear i could not only tell she was shaved, but could see the outlines of both set of lips:eek:. could not contain the hard-on, but kept it from getting fully hard :wink: well, the woman next to me took notice and kept looking down at her leg, adjusting her shoulder strap, whatever. now that got me fully erect. i just wanted to take it out and show it to her, put her hand on it and ask her to wank me off while i watched the other one's butt! but what did i do? nothing. not that biking takes the concentration of weightlifting.

    the point is that gentlemen have been taught not to be aggressive in places where women have not always been. used to be weightlifting gyms were all men. so looking and not flirting is better than having no scenery !
     
  12. Daisy

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    rip- thats HOT!! I wish I knew about all the erections happening in my gym. Youre probably right though, I am imagining it all comes down to respect.

    So here is the question...guys...if I want you to look, what do I have to do? LOL
     
  13. rob_just_rob

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    It may be that they're just focused on working out. I was that way back when I was working out at a health club regularly. Get in, change, workout, shower, and out. If I dawdled chatting with people, my 1:45 workout would turn into 3 hours. This may be especially true for people who are working out after work and trying to be finished quickly so they can go to dinner, movie, Everybody Loves Raymond rerun, or whatever.

    I also noticed that a lot of women get on their elliptical/bike/climber or whatever with headphones on. I always assume that people who are wearing headphones don't want to be talked to. Perhaps that is a consideration as well.

    There are guys out there who are selfconscious about approaching attractive women; this may be exacerbated by feeling unattractive at the time (sweaty, in unflattering gymwear, etc).

    Finally, every woman I met at my gym was an absolute trainwreck. So eventually I deliberately avoided flirting. Not saying that this is the case at your gym, but it makes the point that sometimes motivations can be completely unknowable.
     
  14. rob_just_rob

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    Be less subtle.
     
  15. Wish-4-8

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    It depends on the gym too. Some gyms have a more serious mentality (Gold's Gym), and others are more like meat markets with gym bunnies hopping about starving for attention.

    Trust me, guys notice.

    When I am working out, I am on a time schedule in between lifts and rests. I dont want to talk with anyone and throw off my timing.

    The other thing, I dont like the idea of picking up chicks at the gym. I like to think I am at my worst there and am working out to look better. I dont want to talk to ladies looking the way I do. First impressions?

    But I do look at ladies, and trust me, the guys are elbowing each other having that short exchange of, "Dang, check that out."
     
  16. Daisy

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    Just to clarify...I dont mean that I want guys to chat me up..I am strictly talking about looking...flirting with your eyes..just noticing :)
     
  17. rob_just_rob

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    And to be a little more obvious about it? :cool:
     
  18. blg3floor3

    blg3floor3 New Member

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    I don't know about other guys, but I treat the gym as neutral ground. Or in the Highlander TV show sense, holy ground (i.e. sanctuary). I don't hit on the girls and I don't check them out (not when they're looking anyway :wink:). Both could be considered creepy, or at least that's the impression women and the mass media have given guys over the years. The former could be really awkward if things go south, and as for the latter, a straight, normal, healthy male looking at and enjoying the shape and figure of the opposite gender of his [very highly sexual] species has somehow managed to be considered creepy and weird if it's done for more than a minute fraction of a millisecond.

    Women are a rare enough presence in the gym as it is (at least the ones that lift free weights), so a lot of guys don't want to scare them away. Myself and a lot of other guys want to give them some space and respect. That said though, if you want to be checked out, but not hit on, well, I don't know what to tell you. Lift some free weights (deadlift, squat, overhead press, etc), that should get guys looking because it's really hot, both physically and psychologically. Otherwise I don't know what you could do you that you haven't already done that would give a "check me out a little" vibe without becoming a "come hither" vibe.
     
  19. crescendo69

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  20. Moez???

    Moez??? Active Member

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    I do have to say though, I have to fight myself to not stare at a girl doing squats at the gym. And even then, I barely look. I mean, just today, there was this girl with the most amazing ass, doing squats right in my line of sight, and I was benching. and in front of her was a mirror. If I looked, she would've caught me looking, and I don't want to distract her or make her uncomfortable.

    But I wanted to look so badly, so I just went to the fountain and drank lots of water while checking her out. I got my fill, then was able to ignore her the rest of the time.

    I think you just gotta come to terms that people probably won't check you out at the gym unless you actually want direct flirting.
     
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