Guys With Small Dicks Ruined My Sex Life

[Catharsis]

Alright, fair enough. I can appreciate a good satire... But you did bring up some valid points about growing up before the internet when no one was really aware of what a big dick was (or, I imagine this is truly the case), the BS behind the nerves in a vagina being within the first few inches, and the existance of deep spot orgasms. There are many nerve endings in the first few inches of the vagina, but these nerves are connected to the brain and so they have no choice but to run through the rest of the vagina.

So, with that said, I'm fairly certain many people (evidently) wouldn't have expected a satire to be found anywhere on a site like this... Perhaps in the blogs section, I guess.

Actually, that's an interesting way of making your point... Critical reading was never my specialty (I'm a very abstract and apparently obtuse person). My apologies.

 

[LADave]

I just wanted to get this off my chest. Just a side note: usually when I rant about something, I take the time to do meticulous research and site sources, but this time I'm just mad and irrational. So here goes the hyperbole!

FUCK SMALL DICK HAVING MOTHERFUCKERS!

There, I said it. I used to feel bad for you bastards, but no more. Driving around in your souped up cars and being super A-type personalities (code for ass-hole), I knew that you suffered from the embarrassment of constantly having to get your tiny dicks out in front of girls you liked, so I was always magnanimous when you acted like asses.

Recently I had a revelation; small dicked bastards ruined my sex life. I'm 38 years old and only in the last few years have I learned how to really take advantage of my larger than average tool. I will be the first to admit that the blame is largely mine. Nobody stopped me from doing research or even being more curious about where the 2/3 of my dick went once it got past the point in the vagina that my fingers could reach. But my lack of curiosity was at least partially caused by discrimination. I grew up in a time before the internet, believing that having a big dick was like having a third nipple; remarkable, but ultimately useless. Somehow small dicked guys got to write the history of good fucking with all their lies, half truths, and old wives tales bending my mind away from reality. All the nerves in the vagina are in the first two inches. Only clitoral or G-spot orgasms are possible, so fingers and tongues are needed. And on and on. And the slogans. The fucking slogans. Its not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean, its not the size of the wand but the magic that it does, etc. Fuck that.

About two years ago I learned about the deep spots I could hit. Now I practically have to beg my wife to let me go down on her. I fuck her to multiple orgasms and her clit barely ever comes into play -- by her choice. There's a whole other world in there, like in Leviathan. I admit that its my fault that I wasn't more curious, but my whole life I was told that my special gift was meaningless.

I don't want to drag down these small dick jerks. They have enough problems. I'm writing this to express how important the LPSG really is. It wasn't until I came here that my mind was freed from oppression. The name seems like joke the first time you see it, but this is no joke. I'm glad that we are here spreading the truth. I hope that some day, the countless millions will come of age confident and armed with knowledge.

Dude, that was just about the stupidest rant I've seen here in a long time. Nobody screwed up your sex life other then yourself. Blaming others is pretty childish. Grow up.

 

[LADave]

If that was his attempt at satire he needs to go abck to satire 101 class.

 

[Meetmee]

If that was his attempt at satire he needs to go abck to satire 101 class.

ba-dum-bump... he'll be here all week folks.

 

[conntom]

I always laughed at the idea that all the nerves were in the first 2 to 3 inches of the vagina.

Some girls love it deep and orgasm without any direct clitoral stimulation at all.

My current gf is like this and thank God for it.

 

[MysticMan]

lol, guys with small dicks prevented the OP from going balls deep and rotating his hips?

 

[monstro]

The star Aldebaran is 44.2 diameters the size of the sun, approximately 61 kilometers. While our sun could fit 1, 300,000 Earths insides us.

So, yeah, two or three fucking 'inches' matter...

 

[shyenglishgirl]

This thread made me chuckle! First for everything!

 

[marriedasian]

i don't think we can place blame on ignorance. you just plainly didn't know any better. it's quite the revelation when we come into the light about anything in our lives (not just the fact that a big cock could have made my life better as the OP kinda puts it).

live and learn, and then move on.

 

[chrispy]

There is a word to describe the OP...it's on the tip of my tongue... oh, yeah!


What an asshole.

 

[askew]

Any man who has never tried to go ball's deep into a pussy from the get-go might not really be into pussy (pun intended)

 

[ShannonH]

Any man who has never tried to go ball's deep into a pussy from the get-go might not really be into pussy (pun intended)

It's something that's good to build to; I'd never just jump in that far right away. Personally I feel like the top 3-4" of my dick feel way better at the front of the pussy to me. I generally only start to really ram it in when I'm coming close to coming.

 

[salter]

I feel like a lot of you didn't do that well on the Reading Comprehension section of the SATs. Maybe I'm wrong.

I'm glad you found out what works. I hope it keeps you going. BTW, my wife also really doesn't like me going down on her. She says she prefers feeling "filled up." And I also like to go down, so it's a bit frustrating but it is what it is.

 

[Boondocksaints]

I never understood this whole "guys with nice cars have small dicks" stereotype. Don't most wealthy people have nice cars simply because they can?

 

[Remington]

I never understood this whole "guys with nice cars have small dicks" stereotype. Don't most wealthy people have nice cars simply because they can?

Precisely.

It's just insecurity on the OP's part.

 

[Meetmee]

I've been trying to figure out what it is about some of these responses that makes them seem extra-annoying. I don't normally mind being criticized or insulted. I have to admit I was poking the hornet's nest on purpose this time, so I've been at a loss for why it has gotten under my skin a little bit. One thing that added to the annoyance factor is the fact that a lot of critics obviously didn't pay attention to what I wrote. They skimmed through and then fit my post into some pre-perceived injustice or slight that they had suffered or thought they had suffered. This is annoying, but not unexpected and not normally enough to bother me. I would say the key annoying trait of the responses is the attempts by some responders to psychoanalyze me based on this one post. Its incredibly ignorant to think that you can understand a person's psychological profile when you're not trained in psychology, you've never met the person, you have one sarcastic forum post to analyze, and you're obviously projecting your own insecurities on to me in the process. Just one example among many is the statement that rich people have nice cars blah, blah, blah. I think that (as I put on my doctor Freud hat) the interesting thing is that I didn't write "nice car," I wrote "souped-up car." So boondock read one thing and perceived it as being something else. This tells me that he equates nice cars with souped-up cars. I think that this is a much greater insight into his thinking than it is to mine. I only use this as an example because it is the most recent. I'm not trying to start a flame war. I would encourage everyone who read the original post and then found that it fit into some box that already existed in his or her head, to go back and read it again and really try to see what is written there. I don't suggest doing this because I think that what I wrote was important or informative. Actually I think quite the opposite. It was a stupid joke that I only intended to draw attention to an unimportant phenomenon that I had noticed. The thing I think you will gain from re-reading the post, is an insight into the warped way you perceive the world. Perhaps if you start seeing things as they really are, you won't be so belligerent and angry in the future.

 

[pimpinguy72]

what do you consider small?

 

[Meetmee]

what do you consider small?

Not that its really important to me, but I guess anything that falls below the average. Or more accurately, this has more to do with whether you can hit your partner's deep spots. Just to clarify, I'm not really mad at guys with small dicks. And I have read plenty of posts on this big dick website from women that are very satisfied with their smaller but adept lovers.

BTW-I was looking back over the thread and noticed that all the guys who were shocked that I never just went "balls-deep" were mostly not photo verified. I'll assume that you all aren't big enough to know that that's not enough. Or maybe you all have such massive tools that you hit every spot just by inserting said tool. I am not so lucky. I am a little over 7.5x6. I have plenty to work with, but I must seek out certain spots to achieve the desired result. Sometimes that requires going all the way in and positioning my cock at the right angle to apply pressure to the posterior fornix and some times it requires only going about 2/3 of the way in and working the anterior fornix. I have only been with my wife since I discovered these techniques, but just from other past sexual experiences, I will assume that as in all things sexual; it depends on the individual woman and how her body and mind work.

 

[mikiethickone]

Hey dude, I thought your original post was both hot and humorous. Made me chuckle, and also got me a little bit hard. Sad how some folks seemed to miss the fun in what you were trying to do--I mean why the fuck else are we on this site??? Enywhoo...

 

[someperson]

I never understood this whole "guys with nice cars have small dicks" stereotype. Don't most wealthy people have nice cars simply because they can?

Higher up the car truck, SVU, the smaller the penis is.