Gym Buddy Etiquette

[deleted1269193]

I'm sure their might be other threads about this - if yes please link me.

I've got a coworker/friend who I get along with well and am for sure physically attracted to. To preference, he's married and I'm guessing mostly straight - although I get vibes from him. I'm in a relationship and am gay but have bi leanings.

Pretty secure in the friendship and enjoy it as is. I let him steer how comfy he is with me and my gut tells me he enjoys the attention. If he was wanting more I would be open to it but not why I'm friends with him to be honest. Big bro little bro relationship to be honest.

I asked him to join him on working out recently - which he accepted. What I wondering is what are everyone's etiquette on gym buddy protocols? I've never had one and I don't want to do something stupid. I plan to just wear casual workout clothes and plan to get an eye full of him. Discreetly of course. Of course the usual chitchat will happen. Are there any for sure signs that he would want progress to relief afterwards? Not that I'm really seeking it - but don't want to miss them if they happen as I'm often clueless on those things.

 

[jpk338]

So it's all about you. You don't care about anyone else's feeling but your own. I feel sad for you.

 

[deleted1269193]

So it's all about you. You don't care about anyone else's feeling but your own. I feel sad for you.

Didn't say I was going to act on anything. Calm down lol. Looking for advice on if he tries something. Upmost he's my friend first. I respect his marriage.

I love the dumb quick to judge people on here lol, on an anonymous thread.

 

[Welshcross]

I feel ya, was in a similar situation, with my straight gym trainer. I used to drop the odd remark, like when he used to get change after a session, about once you've seen one, you've seen them all etc.
I'm absolutely hopeless with all this subtle body language stuff, so work on the principle that if he ever wanted to do something he would need to say outright. That way I would know its something he wants, and I hadn't miss interperated.

 

[deleted1269193]

I feel ya, was in a similar situation, with my straight gym trainer. I used to drop the odd remark, like when he used to get change after a session, about once you've seen one, you've seen them all etc.
I'm absolutely hopeless with all this subtle body language stuff, so work on the principle that if he ever wanted to do something he would need to say outright. That way I would know its something he wants, and I hadn't miss interperated.

That's a good idea. We've been good friends for couple years. I feel like that would be the best course of action because I trust him. Have said stuff I've never told anyone and he surprised me with how well he's taken it for a presumably straight guy.

 

[HorseHung40's]

Reading between the lines, I would surmise that you are trying to seduce this man, while allowing him to think that it was all his idea.

If he has not made some sort of move by now, I can almost guarantee that he won't make one. Be content with the fact that you have a terrific colleague, who has a friendly personality - and - stop there.

He is married. Assume it is happily. There may be children. Think of that first instead of yourself.

 

[deleted1269193]

Reading between the lines, I would surmise that you are trying to seduce this man, while allowing him to think that it was all his idea.

If he has not made some sort of move by now, I can almost guarantee that he won't make one. Be content with the fact that you have a terrific colleague, who has a friendly personality - and - stop there.

He is married. Assume it is happily. There may be children. Think of that first instead of yourself.

Very presumption of you to say I'm trying to seduce him. A bit homophobic. So far he's the one that's been hitting on me - and I've not moved it along. I do treat him as just a friend. It's a mutual attraction for sure, didn't mention I don't think he's not happy. You also don't know his marriage status - he seems very Bi. Again very presumptuous... And not helpful at all. If any further comments about cheating, which is not the topic is the driving force behind other comments, move along. Not what this is about. See Tutters response on how not to sound narrow minded and more of the advice I'm looking for.

 

[hunGreek]

Does he know youre gay? thats a quite important part of the relationship dynamic you chose to leave out.

i say go to the gym, be his friend, have fun, if things become more personal, welcome it,
marriage-shmariage, life is short, youre no nun, no means no and youre both adults (ie: dont get him shitfaced drunk and take advantage of him), but "hey bro ive heard guys give the best head" means he wants to ram your throat.

 

[deleted1269193]

He knows I'm a sword swallower lol. But yes not a nun - thanks for the encouragement hah! Gonna do it!