Gym Confidence

[Malcolm24graham]

So I’m a gay 23 man that lacks confidence. I have been told I attractive but I’m super skinny. My dream has always to become buff and maybe even a bodybuilder one day. The problem is that I’ve been super weak. I’ve paid two personal trainers for help but I couldn’t afford them. Now I’m starting up going by myself again but I fear that my lack of knowledge won’t help me become fit. I want to become a gym rat, but I can’t get up enough I’m the mornings to go. I need help and tips. I really want to build up my fitness endurance and strength.

 

[iamsam4x]

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This guy has helped me out with his vids packed with knowledge..hope it helps.

 

[DSF140]

Your story sounds like mine was once. You have to want it bad enough to find the time to work out. Do your sets with weight that allows you to do them in proper form. Don't worry about looking weak because you're using light weights. Nobody else in the gym gives a damn that you're skinny and using light weight. Eat plenty of protein. 1.5 grams per pound you weigh each day. Never go hungry. Get plenty of sleep. There are plenty of workout and training videos online to learn about proper form. In order to look like an athlete, you have to train like an athlete. Do you think the vast majority of guys your age who are muscular got that way simply by lifting the occasional dumbbell? Hell no. They trained like crazy for some sort of sport.

 

[DSF140]

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This guy has helped me out with his vids packed with knowledge..hope it helps.

Jeff Cavalier of Athlean X knows his shit. I highly reccomend his videos.

 

[Saint Raphael]

The only tips I can provide - and the only ones that are even necessary - are the words "discipline" and "motivation." You first have to motivate yourself to get up and go to the gym, and through discipline, it will become almost like second nature. You can't jump ahead and worry about not becoming buff/fit/whatever if you don't set foot in the gym in the first place.

Once you take that first step, you'll find that most quality gyms will have staff that can at least show you how to use the equipment. You can also just jump on YouTube and search for beginner workout tips and mimic those. Or, you can also approach someone and ask for their assistance or ask if you can watch and see how they perform a specific routine. That's also a nice way to make gym acquaintances/friends.

I have no idea what it takes to be a bodybuilder/buff, so I can't comment on that. However, I will say that I've been working out for nearly 4 years now and feel like it took me a solid 2.5 years to reach my ideal physique (which is where I'm at now). That's where the discipline will come into play: you have a goal, so you need to do what it takes to reach it. All of us started somewhere, and likely not in ideal physical shape (or we wouldn't need the gym in the first place). A few months/years down the road, beginners will be approaching you for advice and tips. The time will pass anyway, so why not spending it doing/working towards something you want to achieve?

Good luck!

 

[jf22]

I think everything you are looking for can be found here. Getting Started with Fitness | The Fitness Wiki

I found this to be one of the best resources for people starting out with the gym. Make sure you make small incremental changes. Too much to quick will burn you out. First, just make going to the gym a habit. Have some kind of idea of the lifts you want to do but don't commit to any specific routine yet.

Once going to the gym is a set in stone habit, I would pick a routine. Now normally, I suggest to people to worry about diet last, but if you're trying to gain wait, you should consider this next part as well. You will not gain muscle if you do not eat enough and will be wasting your time if bulking up is your goal. They go into it in the wiki above but figure out your TDEE and eat a 500 calories surplus of that. It's going to suck at first but it's important to figure this out if you want to gain muscle.

Weigh yourself every morning at the same time (preferably after using the bathroom). Track it on a spreadsheet and then average your weekly weight. Track your average weekly weight to see if your gaining, losing or staying the same and adjust from there.

There are a bunch of different routines out there. A popular one is called PPL (Push, Pull, Legs) where you each one two times a week. Anyone you do, I would stay do at least 12 weeks of it before moving on to something else.

These are just things I learned along the way, but with anything, make sure to do your own research also. A lot of fitness advice is bad so don't believe everything you read. I hope I helped a little bit and I wish you success in your journey. I'm gay as well and I understand that it can be intimidating, especially for me who is not very masculine. You will learn and get better and if anyone ever gives you a problem let the gym staff know. They are there to help you!

 

[Flexxx]

Even though you may bust your ass in the gym if you don't ear right (plenty of protein) much of your effort will be wasted. Muscles are not built in the gym. They are destroyed there. They are built in the kitchen by feeding them and in bed by resting them to give them an opportunity to grow bigger

 

[51arledge]

LOTS of great advice here (especially from @DSF140 ).

Your story could be mine except that I didn't start in a gym until I was 50!
Even then I was really skinny, though with the beginning of a belly. No muscle that was visible, no core strength, a basic string bean.
As noted above, the visible change will take time. In my case, by the time I had been working out for 2 years I had to replace my entire wardrobe---nothing fit particularly shirts.
It can't be said too strongly:
* Research form for each exercise
* Eat lots of protein
* Get at least 8 hours of sleep.
CONSISTENTLY!
Good luck and work hard!

 

[socalfreak]

So I’m a gay 23 man that lacks confidence. I have been told I attractive but I’m super skinny. My dream has always to become buff and maybe even a bodybuilder one day. The problem is that I’ve been super weak. I’ve paid two personal trainers for help but I couldn’t afford them. Now I’m starting up going by myself again but I fear that my lack of knowledge won’t help me become fit. I want to become a gym rat, but I can’t get up enough I’m the mornings to go. I need help and tips. I really want to build up my fitness endurance and strength.

Ok...
So....... Let's break this into two parts.
First, you lack knowledge about working out.
LOTS of resource material out there.
Athlean x is a good source, as mentioned earlier.
But, if you want bare bones, back to basics info, I'd get a copy of Arnold Schwarzenegger's encyclopedia of bodybuilding.
It's pretty much the entry level bible for newbies. My girl and I have a copy of it on our bookshelf right now.
Those would be excellent jumping off points.

As far as the not being able to get up and go.....
Being in shape/buff/a bodybuilder is your "dream"..... But, you can't get out of bed??
Well... To be blunt... You must not want it that bad.
What's your fear?
You'll get laughed at?.... Not gonna happen.
Every single person in the gym started in a similar spot as you.
And, even if they did have a chuckle, who cares??
If you want this that badly, you'll get up and go.
There's no magic pill that will make you suddenly brimming with confidence.
Life can be uncomfortable at times.
Either lay there and take the beating your mind is dishing out....
Or get up and get in the fight.

I was 5'9" and 115 lbs when I started.
I hated it. Every single minute, I hated it.
So, I read up on working out/ nutrition & did something about it.

Do it..... Or don't.
It's up to you & how badly you want it.

 

[Malcolm24graham]

Ok...
So....... Let's break this into two parts.
First, you lack knowledge about working out.
LOTS of resource material out there.
Athlean x is a good source, as mentioned earlier.
But, if you want bare bones, back to basics info, I'd get a copy of Arnold Schwarzenegger's encyclopedia of bodybuilding.
It's pretty much the entry level bible for newbies. My girl and I have a copy of it on our bookshelf right now.
Those would be excellent jumping off points.

As far as the not being able to get up and go.....
Being in shape/buff/a bodybuilder is your "dream"..... But, you can't get out of bed??
Well... To be blunt... You must not want it that bad.
What's your fear?
You'll get laughed at?.... Not gonna happen.
Every single person in the gym started in a similar spot as you.
And, even if they did have a chuckle, who cares??
If you want this that badly, you'll get up and go.
There's no magic pill that will make you suddenly brimming with confidence.
Life can be uncomfortable at times.
Either lay there and take the beating your mind is dishing out....
Or get up and get in the fight.

I was 5'9" and 115 lbs when I started.
I hated it. Every single minute, I hated it.
So, I read up on working out/ nutrition & did something about it.

Do it..... Or don't.
It's up to you & how badly you want it.

Love the honesty. Thank you for posting. Your words are fuel man.

 

[Gj816]

So I’m a gay 23 man that lacks confidence. I have been told I attractive but I’m super skinny. My dream has always to become buff and maybe even a bodybuilder one day. The problem is that I’ve been super weak. I’ve paid two personal trainers for help but I couldn’t afford them. Now I’m starting up going by myself again but I fear that my lack of knowledge won’t help me become fit. I want to become a gym rat, but I can’t get up enough I’m the mornings to go. I need help and tips. I really want to build up my fitness endurance and strength.

First, let me congratulate you on wanting to change the way your body looks to you. Don't be afraid to go to the gym alone.

Secondly, you'll have to be dedicated, consistent, and determined to make the changes you want to improve.

I go early mornings for the simple fact that at 4 AM there aren't that many people in the gym. I have access to every weight machine I want to use. I didn't know anything about weight lifting when I started. I used sites like men'shealth.com and wikihow. They'll take you through the proper way to lift. You can even get good workout routine ideas from men's health.

Also, you can ask other men in the gym and they'll usually be more than willing to show you techniques. You'll build confidence and make new friends in the process.

Eat right, get at least 8 hours of sleep a night. Stay hydrated and don't expect results in two or three weeks either. Stick with it and it will become a way of life. Take progress pics to track your progress and keep us updated on how you're doing. Be accountable to yourself. It'll build your confidence.

 

[MrTMT]

My 2 cents for the original poster, working out is an individual decision and depends on your current situations. Everyone can provide tips, but you've to the one carrying that out.
I commuted during my first semester in college, about your current age. I didn't join the gym, but have a weight lifting bench in basement at home. I would just do some workouts after done my school works at night (5 times/week) skipped the weekend. I went directly to sleep after that. I did mostly bench press 3 times (with increased weight each) and sit ups in between each reps. Within 3 months or so, I got a very hard chest and hard/flat stomach. The only supplement I took back then was just amino acid pills.