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Had My First Gay Experience. Worried About The Health Risks.

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by Pyramid02, May 28, 2019.

  1. Pyramid02

    Pyramid02 Experimental Member

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    Hi everyone. I'm not sure where else to go and where to turn so I'm posting here. I'm 37 and have been bi curious my entire life. Well last night I got a little drunk and went to an adult bookstore by myself. I wasn't sure entirely what my plans were but I felt a thrill and was enticed.

    Long story short an older cross dresser gave my a blowjob and I gave him anal sex. He produced a new condom for both encounters without me having to ask. I would have insisted anyways. He used his saliva as lube and the condom didn't break and I was careful taking it off.

    Anyways, I know this was considered as relatively safe sex since we used a condom however this would be seen as risky behavior since it was anonymous sex. I'm pretty freaked out about STDs so any input would be appreciated.

    Thank you for your time.
     
  2. diver6

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    Not a lot of experience with this but since you used a condom I would think your fine, don't freak yourself out over it. If your really nervous go get tested. Just my 2 cents.
     
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  3. winesthel945

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    You used condoms, that's pretty much the gold standard for safer sex. So you did it right.

    I would urge you to learn a bit more about STIs and not "freak out." Most of them have few outward symptoms and if you're diligent about testing and treatment, can be cured with as little as one dose of an antibiotic. That reality makes them not worth much of a freak out. Other STIs like herpes are often asymptomatic and the body can naturally shed the virus over time. In Europe they don't even consider herpes to be an STI worth dealing with unless you're having painful breakouts. In the US, most public health experts don't even suggest testing for it, since most sexually active people (men and women, gay and straight) are exposed to it by the time they're in their 40s and have never even once manifested a symptom.

    Of course the big ones are HIV and Hepatitis. Go get your Hep vaccines if you haven't already. Hep A and B are preventable, Hep C is curable, but it's expensive and rough on your liver. And if you are going to be sexually active in a circumstance in which you could be on the receiving end of bodily fluids, go get yourself on PrEP. (Your insurance may cover it, and the manufacturer has a card available to everyone that will cover the co-pay. If you don't have insurance, check with your local public health clinic; they may provide it for little or no cost.)

    Enjoy your exploration, be safe and take precautions, and above all don't freak out about things for which it's easy to manage the risk and the consequences may not be as dire as some Catholic school nun once said.
     
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  4. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Superior Member

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    Probably the riskiest thing you did was actually the saliva as lube. It is unlikely you were exposed to HIV. Everything else you could have been exposed to is no different than what you'd expect from an encounter with a woman.

    Regular testing is a necessity if you are having sex regardless of who you are doing.

    My advice is to avoid "opportunistic sex" if you are worried about STDs. In opportunistic situations, you get caught in the heat of the moment and do things you regret later. In planned situations you can control your risks better.
     
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  5. Tbprivate

    Tbprivate Admired Member

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    Sex clinics have caring experts to talk you through your worries and will discuss options with you and may recommend after-sex drugs.

    It’s a shame that a thrilling experience is haunting you.
    Have you booked an appointment yet? What are you waiting for? Don’t waste time worrying about something that’ll probably turn out as nothing.

    Good luck!
     
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  6. Pyramid02

    Pyramid02 Experimental Member

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    I saw a Dr today. She was pretty reassuring that my risk was low everything. I did get a full screen and will get results on Friday.
     
  7. Andrue

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    You dun good, son. You did what is recommended for general safer practices.

    Set yourself up for a regular test every 3 or 6 months if you start having the sex thing regularly. Talk to your health professional/sex clinic nurse to see what schedule they recommend. Up here in Canuckistan, I've read/heard both 6 months and yearly, with a few folks going for the quarterly if they're particularly active.

    So pat yourself on the back for your foresight, for expecting the use of condoms (even if you didn't actually get to demand it)
    and if you head out for this sort of fun again, remember YOU have to bring condoms with you. The next guy might not and that can lead to riskier behaviour should you succumb to the temptation anyway because you've had a touch too much drink or weed - what with you being in Seattle and all.

    Be careful but not paranoid. It doesn't make for very fun sex if you're just panicking about the possible cooties you might catch.

    And if you can and do go the PrEP route, remember that this stops HIV super effectively but that's it, just HIV. You should still wear a condom for all the other things those will prevent.

    Now go forth and explore your real self. And welcome to the team.
     
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  8. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Superior Member

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    I think you are freaking out mostly because you don't really know anything about the guy you let fuck you.

    If you meet a guy through an app, at least you get to know a bit about him first via text, then meeting somewhere public then go somewhere for sex.
     
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  9. Pyramid02

    Pyramid02 Experimental Member

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    Thanks bud. I appreciate it. I always try and be respectful and mindful of my health as well as that of my partner. I typically get tested every year especially if I start a new relationship.
     
  10. Pyramid02

    Pyramid02 Experimental Member

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    I guess my main scare is contracting herpes. He did use a lot of saliva and while I used a condom I know that protecting against herpes can be difficult in this case. I'm hoping this one incident won't leave lasting consequences.
     
  11. malakos

    malakos Superior Member

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    Herpes really isn't something you can expect to protect yourself from. If you had a solid knowledge of your partner and their history, that might help. Also, if there is an obvious breakout, you will know there is considerable risk of transmission in making contact with it. But typically with a hookup there's no way to know, and a condom probably isn't going to cover all of the viral shed. A condom wouldn't hurt, and it might block the viral shed, but you can't rely on it to do so.

    Also, it's more likely than not that you already have Type 1 anyway. Majority of adults do (it's often carried asymptomaticly).
     
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  12. ohiorod

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    If you are generally someone who worries , I would advise not to go the PrEP route. And this is coming from someone who educated and tests for HIV for a living. Using PrEP without condoms has caused a rise in the STI infections across the country. While you would be protected from HIV after one month of steadily taking PrEP and then continuing in the pill( truvada), your worry about getting an STI would not make for enjoyable sex. Play safe, educate yourself and know how much risk you are willing to assume and get tested as needed. Enjoy your sex life, but please protect yourself appropriately.
     
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  13. Pyramid02

    Pyramid02 Experimental Member

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    Thanks for all the replies. My initial test results from 2 days after the encounter all came back negative. I tested again a few days ago and should get those tests results tomorrow. I'll get tested again on the 19th. So far it's been about a week since the encounter but I've had no symptoms. I'll report back.
     
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