Had To Get This Off My Chest

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Dannyboy1500, Oct 2, 2011.

  1. Dannyboy1500

    Dannyboy1500 New Member

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    Hello Everyone

    This is the first time I have posted on here but have been a member for awhile now. I have an issue that I have been trying to deal with and so far I am loosing the battle. On Dec 31 My girlfriend and I broke up after 7 years of being with eachother. We we engaged and had everything planned out. One day I was at work and she sent me a message saying that she didnt know what she wanted no more and that she does not see this relationship going anywhere this was in september. I tried my best to work things out and she said she would try to but from that day to december she never said she loved me anymore but i said it to her. I noticed before all this happend that she took off the ring and at that time i thought it was because it might have been to tight.When I got her message my heart dropped and i couldnt breath i was lost. I went home early from work and called her to see what was going on. She said I didnt lover her anymore and and we were growing apart. From that day i tried to change myself to make me a better person i did this for 3 months trying to prove myself to her again that the guy she loved is still here and loves her just like the day we met that was untill December 31. I was at my best friends place for new years and i was venting to him about the situation i was in and how much i missed her and care for her. Then he turns to me and says that he had to show me somthing. So he opens a message that my gf sent him and it said how do i tell him we are not getting back together. When i saw that message all my anger and all my hate that i have bottled down inside me came out. She led me to belive that we would get beack together and all she needed was time to think and figure things out but the truth was she already made up her mind and screwed with my mind. When we broke up she said she wanted to be friends and i looked at her with fire coming out of my eyes and smoke coming out of my ears and i told her shes dead to me and i never want to see her again and i wanted the ring back. Not even a month goes by and she messages me asking how im doing i told her im fine just trying to keep myself busy to keep my mind off things. She told me that before we broke up she met a guy and they were talking and he would pick her up to go for coffee and bullshit like that and they kept close for months and she finally tells me that she told him that she had feelings for him more then a friend. Now keep in mind its not even a month that we broke up and shes telling another guy she has feelings for him. I told her i dont give a damn shes dead to me and told her to piss off. Later I was at my friends house and he tells me that the guy she had feelings for only wanted to get in her pants. She never slept with the guy cause shes the kind of girl that has to be in a commited relationship before she has sex. But long story short she got into a bad crowd that went drinking on the weekends and she never drank when we were dating and this guy was just playing with her emotions. In april i met somone and we started to hang out alot and i found out we went to the same high school together. We have been together for 5 months now and there is a wall between us and its not her fault its mine cause i am still trying to get my ex out of my mind and thats why i cant sleep at night cause i have bad dreams and i see her face. The reason i am writing this is cause i find that when i talk about it and get it out of my mind i am not so angry anymore.
     
  2. MickeyLee

    Gold Member

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    paragraphs.
    use them.

    your need to vent? not a women's issue.
     
  3. Luvs2Squirt

    Luvs2Squirt Active Member

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    Time...It just takes time to get over someone.
    I'm not going to tell you you are better off without her, or any other cliches you have likely heard before....
    Someday you will wake up and it will all be crystal clear about the whys and hows of why it did not work out.
    And you do deserve to smile again and be happy!
    Don't go blaming yourself for everything, remember she has/had her own faults too.
    I hope that you will find inner peace about this soon.
     
  4. Bbucko

    Gold Member

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    QFT

    My eyes bounced all over that wall of text; even after several attempts it remains (to me) illegible.
     
  5. kurios

    kurios Member

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    The longer you take to get over what in reality may not have ever been the more time you are wasting.
    Close the door and ignore any contact with the EX.
    Avoid listening when the subject comes up
    Move On ASAP
    Maybe you weren't meant to be a twosome but she is jerking you around and plating a game so frankly if she gets burned so be it
    Not your concern anymore but let it go don't be angry
     
  6. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    QFT, indeed. I mean, I meant to read that, but it was inedible.
     
  7. hockeysweat

    hockeysweat New Member

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    If you can't treat your girlfriend right, then break up with her. The last thing she needs is a boyfriend who's obsessed with another woman - a woman who yanked you around, made it clear she didn't love you, then threw her new relationship in your face (with the assistance of your so-called friend, who can't seem to keep his mouth shut about your ex).

    Cut off the ex. If she's dead to you, what are you doing talking to her? Tell your friend you don't want to hear a word about her. And consider seeing a therapist, since talking about it makes you see things clearer and feel better.
     
  8. cvcgolf

    cvcgolf Active Member

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    Don't be a pussy.. In other words, don't let the ex spy on you.. When you get a call, don't answer it.. When you get a message, don't answer it.. Dump her on facebook and any other ways of contact.. Enjoy your new babe and 6 moths from now she'll be a memory that won't drag you down.. But that's only if you have the balls to cut her off..
     
  9. B_debonair87

    B_debonair87 New Member

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    yea you seriously should've used paragraphs. that hurt my eyes.

    anyway, you got into a new relationship way too fast and i hate to say this but you might have to end that. don't toy around with this girls emotions. what if she discovers that you still have feelings for your ex? you don't need to put that girl in that situation.

    and you're gonna have to accept the fact that your ex has moved on. she probably doesn't love you anymore. that alone should make you realize that she's not worth it. she did you dirty.

    and women come and go, dude.
     
  10. Omegaman

    Omegaman Member

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    Danny Boy, luckily she end it now. Than in divorce court, count your blessing. SHE wasn't the one for you. Let she have her fun and when she come begging back, DON'T. Tell her you have moved on, and to enjoy her life. Be Strong, Don't Be Pussy Whipped!! Or else you gonna pay big time.
     
  11. matelalique

    matelalique Active Member

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    Listen to Alanis Morissette's "You ought to know". Get your anger out. And move on.
     
  12. dandelion

    Verified Gold Member

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    cant say what would be the best advice for you. Can say things just happen. Had events gone a bit different you and your first girlfriend might be together now and happy about it. Or then again, maybe even if she didnt meet someone maybe the relationship had already turned sour. You are still in love with her. Id say right now you arent in the right place mentally to comit to a new girlfriend, but that doesnt mean it cannot sort itself out in time.

    Dont explode when it turns out people didnt exactly tell the truth. Stalling for time is stalling for time. Someone may decide they shouldnt be with you, or they may decide they made a big mistake. Maybe you cant live with that, but then again maybe you can.
     
  13. Meetmee

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    Word.
     
  14. D_Harry_Ballz

    D_Harry_Ballz New Member

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    So, lets summarize. You were in a loveless relationship towards the end. It ended and no sooner after you broke up she tells you she was talking to someone the last month? This good sir, is what is known as "Winning the Breakup". She wanted to get back in touch with you to see if you were with anyone, and at that time she played the "Yeah I was talking to this guy" card to kick you right in your metaphorical balls.

    Why do you think people in relationships get so much attention from folks as opposed to single people? Because the fact of the matter is they see you as "Something that someone else is interested in, therefore I must have it!". Lets use an analogy:

    Tickle me Elmo, quite possibly the most ridiculous toy invented by man. All of a sudden people start adoring this thing, next thing you know you're in line at 3AM standing outside Toy's R' Us the day after Thanksgiving in hopes to get one. People always covet what someone else has.

    I have actually used this in a study. You go to a bar, wearing a gold band, it's just gold, nothing out of the ordinary, but it gives off the vibe that you are married. You would be amazed at how much more attention I received from women than if I didn't wear the gold band. But we're getting off topic here, bottom line, she wanted to win the breakup, and sadly she did.

    The moment you become emotionally angry with someone, thats when you yourself start to look like the fool. It's a tough task being "mellow-yellow" when the world comes crashing down, but stoicism reaps it's benefits. If she's not in love with you why bother to continue to chase? Trust you me, you can make every attempt to induce CPR on a relationship that has flatlined, but once she says she's done, even if she rescinds, there will always be that thought in the back of your mind that you have to do everything in your power to keep her happy.

    And what happens to people that make it their sole mission to make their partner happy? In the end, you end up making yourself miserable for a useless cause. Praise falls on deaf ears for that type of martyrdom I'm afraid.

    You did mention that you are in a new relationship now? Not that it's any of my business, but if you view this new person of something more than a rebound, it might be in your best interest to take some time for yourself and clear your head, because quite frankly it's unfair to this new girl that you are bringing baggage to the table that you haven't handled as of yet.
    If it's so bad that you are having anxiety issues, depression, bad dreams, etc., it might be in your benefit to talk to a counselor. There's not one thing wrong with seeking advice from a therapist. Most people see this route as the last thing they would ever do, but it seems as though you have a lot of things to get off your chest about your ex, and while myself and the rest of the LPSG community don't mind listening and chiming in our 2 cents, I think seeing someone in person might help you to bring some closure and clarvoyance in the whole situation. Best of Luck.
     
  15. SoloAqui

    SoloAqui Member

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    Glad you got this off your chest. I am glad that you have a good friend {the one that showed you the text}
    Your still in the recovery from the break up. Your new relationship may suffer a bit longer. Like others have said Time... helps Keep venting and working through your emotions.
     
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