Haggard : I am "completely heterosexual"

prepstudinsc

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Officially, Fundamentalists believe that God is neither male nor female, neither black nor white. In other words they worship Michael Jackson.

Most fundamentalists (esp. Southern Baptists) I know all think that God is an old white man, with flowing white robes, sitting on a throne. They're in for a big shock when (and IF) they get to heaven and find that God is nothing like they expected.
 

dostoy

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What? Inside men don't preach hate against their own kind. Think again.

He's an embarrassment to cock-loving men everywhere.

Dude, think again.

You are going to go out and catch a burger with some buddies and talk about Haggard and laugh your ass off about him like I have. Then you are going to tell them how he was the head of a national association of evangelical churches and that he was interested in global warming and possibly interested in gay civil unions and that now he no longer holds a position of influence in that regard.

And then you are going to (or did) take credit for that insight.:cool:

And you are going to keep an eye out for my posts in case I ever come up with some more crap you can pawn off as your own. :)
 

Matthew

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Since we're on the topic, I've been meaning to mention that I'm "completely heterosexual" too.
 

madame_zora

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Yes, the man is completely heterosexual. Which means that his real problem (the gayness) has been cured. However, he's still a meth addict, which is completely OK.


No, no, no, silly boy- it was a multi-purpose three-week clinic. I hear tell they even exorcise demons there. He's CURED, I tell ya!
 

B_gagger

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Heard on the radio today...not the first instance involving a (so-called) holy man together with the words Deny and Peter.
 

submit452

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Have you ever seen Exgays on shows like Geraldo's old TV show? They're the most gay acting "straight" guys I've ever seen. YOU are BORN GLBT. ITS NOT A CHOICE OR LIFESTYLE. This kind of therapy does more harm than good. If there wasn't homophobia, we that are GLBT would be much happier and emotionally free. We don't choose who we Love emotionally or Sexually.
 

invisibleman

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I think that it is hilarious that straight people have three month treatment camps to degay straight folks. No more gay. The world is safe. :smile:
Rev. Ted Haggard-- a straight man. Married with kids. Has a wife.
On out-of-town business retreats, every straight man HAS to have a male masseur on those hard working days. Unwinding those muscles with crystal meth. Is that so wrong? (All of the aforementioned is bullshit and sarcasm.)
Man, I am happy being gay though. I don't have to worry about degay daispas. And things involving straightdom.


 

DC_DEEP

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Oh bugger. Haggard : I am... sounded like it was going to be a palindrome appreciation thread.
Haggard: I am maid rag! Gah!

That IS a nice palindrome, by the way, big d. It actually does prove Teddy is het-tro-sex-shul. When he and his call-boy go to a seedy motel, Ted is actually more excited by Consuela, who cleans his room. She's on the rag.