No, I in no way expect my partner to be psychic or to automatically know what I want. I will signal what I like - through words or through actions. I'm not adverse to a guy being adventurous and searching his way forward with me, as I want to do with him. I'll give strong enough signals for him to likely know whether I like it or not. That exploration is in itself something I like as it sometimes makes me discover things I've not yet tried but find that I like.
If he slaps my butt and I pull away, or express in words "not like that, I don't like it" - I expect him to understand that this isn't an avenue to continue exploring. If he's caressing me, moving towards up my neck and I bend my head forward, exposing it, in words or sounds making him know I appreciate it I expect him to understand that this is something he should continue trying to see where we end up. If he tries to grab hold of my hair and I express even more strongly that I like it, I expect him to understand this is something I enjoy. If the grip is too hard and I say "ouch" or "not so hard" I expect that he has learned where my approximate limit goes.
But I will not give explicit orders. "Could you please stroke me", "could you please grab hold of my hair", "could you please fuck me slowly", "that turns me on", "this turns me off", etc. That to me takes away much of the exploration and spontaneity that comes with sex and makes it into giving and receiving orders on how to get the other person off the quickest way possible.
Communication, yes of course, through words, through sounds, through body langauage, through other channels - but not an ABC-book or guided tour of exactly how to behave to turn me on (if anything you guys reading what I post here would have a much better "tutorial" to me than probably any guy I've met IRL as my posts here do reveal quite a lot of my turn-ons and turn-offs).
For my own part I've found that most guys that have a dominant streak in them naturally and from the beginning will pick up the clues I send more than well and more or less automatically move into a role that will turn me on. For those that have it to a lesser degree or not at all - they will miss some or all of these clues and the end result will be accordingly.
