Hall Pass / Hotwife

Texaslng

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Forgive me if this has been asked before.

If you are a married woman, and been married for some time. Would you welcome having a hall pass to hook up with someone else, or even exploring the hotwife type of arrangement?

The condition would be one way. Only you get to play and spice up things for yourself. No strings attached.
 
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Mittimer

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It's difficult for me to answer this within the context of my own life.

I'm married and have been for just over ten years now. We are poly and have been for nearly as long as our marriage. This doesn't mean there's always other people involved, it just means the freedom is there. Neither of us need a hall pass, we just need to be open, honest and safe.

I personally think the concept of a monogamous marriage randomly opening up for the sake of placating some sort of fetish (hot wife) is a recipe for disaster. I've personally seen more than one marriage fail because of this. Because people thought with their privates, and not at all with their brains. They didn't think about the fact that someone could catch feelings, could find sex more appealing with someone else, that someone would end up jealous, scared, confused, hurt. They don't think they just do what they want in the moment.

Unless you are in a truly good relationship. One where you are secure, happy, healthy and open with one another, using a free pass is just a recipe for the end.

Sex and relationships are messy, don't make it more messy than it needs to be simply to scratch a passing itch.
 

EllieP

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We've been married for 20 years. If all of a sudden my husband would ask me to have sex with another man just to get him off, then I would probably consider it. And then I'd leave him.

That breaks our contract. It's not what we agreed to, so it's over.

Of course I wouldn't do it, and he would never suggest it. He's not stupid, and neither am I.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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For clarification: people who do explore and enjoy this type of arrangement get no judgement from me. My guy and I haven't always been monogamous, but we definitely are now and pretty regularly discuss whether that dynamic still works for both of us. Whatever works for people is not for me to think anything of. As long as they don't push it on me.

If he approached me about this today I would tell him I'm not interested, because I'm not. He's more than satisfying to me, and I wouldn't want to fuck an entire human being to tickle his fancy. I don't want another person inside me. Only him.
 

EllieP

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We've been married for 20 years. If all of a sudden my husband would ask me to have sex with another man just to get him off, then I would probably consider it. And then I'd leave him.

That breaks our contract. It's not what we agreed to, so it's over.

Of course I wouldn't do it, and he would never suggest it. He's not stupid, and neither am I.

OK, maybe I am stupid replying to my own message, but I wanted to clarify.

I'm not saying it's stupid for anyone to do that. There are many different types of relationships, and ours is just one single kind.

But you asked me for my opinion, and that's not to trump anyone elses. That lifestyle doesn't work for us. We were both victims of cheaters in previous marriages, so our agreement is that we're exclusive.
 

Scarletbegonia

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This
He's more than satisfying to me, and I wouldn't want to fuck an entire human being to tickle his fancy. I don't want another person inside me. Only him.
Applies here too.
I also see hot wife as a fetish about another man’s dick.
 

Mittimer

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@Texaslng
What was the situation of the convo?
Judging that his post history is already showing him looking for a man to play out a fantasy for he and his wife, I imagine he took steps and didn't care really about what we had to say, just kinda wanted validation.
 

Texaslng

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OK, maybe I am stupid replying to my own message, but I wanted to clarify.

I'm not saying it's stupid for anyone to do that. There are many different types of relationships, and ours is just one single kind.

But you asked me for my opinion, and that's not to trump anyone elses. That lifestyle doesn't work for us. We were both victims of cheaters in previous marriages, so our agreement is that we're exclusive.

Not at all. I appreciate all the replies. They are very insightful.
 

Texaslng

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Judging that his post history is already showing him looking for a man to play out a fantasy for he and his wife, I imagine he took steps and didn't care really about what we had to say, just kinda wanted validation.

Not true. It's something that's been mentioned several times for many years. Never acted on other than to explore interest.
 

Texaslng

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This
He's more than satisfying to me, and I wouldn't want to fuck an entire human being to tickle his fancy. I don't want another person inside me. Only him.
Applies here too.
I also see hot wife as a fetish about another man’s dick.

I may have used hot wife in the wrong context. It's just what teams to come up in an internet search.

Open relationship or hall pass best describes this and if you are Robert Redford offering a million dollars than uts just a proposal.