Handling Death

[D_Smidley Smelliepits]

sex IS my religion

I'm glad you said that, brother

 

[D_Smidley Smelliepits]

all i meant was , some people over eat or binge drink when they grieve,

lots of sex helps me get through almost anything.

You don't have to justify yourself...

 

[Countryguy63]

While no one has mentioned this, I think if I were you, I would dig deeply and seriously into your religious background. This can be a big help. I know. I've had the experience of death and of the help that real religion can and does give.

Hi Ryan, It's funny that you mention the religous part, as I was brought up very religous. I'm going to post something I wrote on the 1st year marker of his death. (Blanks are names) notice the are that I have colored blue... Apologies in advance for the length of this post.......
*************************************************

One year ago today, I lost one of the most special people in my life. His love for God and his family was undeniable.

To say that we didn't get along well when I was younger would be an understatement. But as we both grew up, we became closer every year. I guess I was in my early 20's before I was able to start establishing a relationship with him. By the time I was in my 30's, we had become fairly close. In the next 10 years, I would find out how much I truley loved him. Anytime that I needed help, he was my first phone call. He would drop whatever he was doing, and do his best to help me. Now don't get me wrong, we were both very strong in our opinions, and frequently disagreed. In fact as weird as it sounds, even when I knew for sure that we would disagree, I still wanted to call him first. I just needed to talk to him.

Throughout my marriage, he was always there to support me. Each year when my ex would leave, or want a divorce, he was always my support. He always would tell me to call, anytime day or night when I needed to talk. No matter what she had done, he would also tell me to tell her that they still loved her, and he never treated her differently when he would see her. Even when he learned of the nasty things that she had said about him, and when she denied a $150,000 loan that he had given us to get my house, he never waivered. His ability to forgive people was amazing.


I can still remember it, like it just happened. It was just after 5pm, Thursday, Sept. 8th, 2005. I had just come home from picking C**** and T*** up from the daycare after work. I walked in the door and the phone was ringing. I answered it, and it was my Uncle E***. As I started to talk, he interrupted me and told me that I needed to get to Fallon, Nevada as soon as possible. My Dad had been taken to the hospital and was not expected to make it. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All I could do was just sit there screaming NO. My immediate thought was to call my sister, R****. I knew that she was driving home, and I didn't want anything to happen to her, so when she answered, I gathered myself and told her that I needed her to come to my house right away, but nothing more. I then called my girlfriend C****n and told her. She immediately offered to stop her riding lesson that she was giving and come be with me. She is so special, I can't imagine my life without her. There are periods of time that are a blur, but I know that I started calling family and other people that I felt needed to know.

When my sister arrived, it was all I could do to blurt out "Dad is dieing". I realize now how shocking that must have been, and I hope that she can forgive me, but I couldn't think clearly. I had never cried so hard in my life. I just couldn't believe that this was happening.

Within the next hour, I called Southwest Airlines to buy emergency tickets for R**** and I. While I was on the phone, my call waiting beeped. The area code told me it was from Nevada. I clicked over and my Mom told me that he was gone. I couldn't ask her how she was doing. I couldn't ask her anything. All I could do was repeat "Oh My God", over and over again. When she hung up, I returned to the lady from Southwest that was helping me. I told her that I no longer needed the tickets. I will never forget how compassionate and kind she was. I thanked her for being so helpful. I called R***** and told her, and decided that we would drive up in the morning.

I spent that night trying to pack for C****, T****, and I, constantly breaking down and crying uncontrollably. I remember my eyes feeling swollen. I remember going through periods of forgetting or at least not believeing. I remember wanting so bad to be able to call my Dad like I had always done when I was hurting. I wanted so bad to be able to tell him again how much I loved him. I remember begging God to let me wake up and it all be gone. I thank God for C***n, who stayed with me all night, helped me pack, and somehow convinced me to lay down. The last thing that I remember that night was her rubbing my head and telling me that she loved me.

The drive the next day was the hardest trip I have ever taken. I spent the time trying to remain as calm as possible. Firstly, and most importantly so I could drive safely. C**** and T**** were with us and I wanted to upset them as little as possible. It was pretty silent most of the way (6-7hrs), so I know it was not easy for them. I tried hard to comfort R**** as much as I could. When we arrived at my parents home, all that I remember is getting out of truck, uncontrollably sobbing, trying to stand up holding onto my truck, and then Uncle E*** holding me up, as I collapsed and felt like I had no strength left.

Mom was so strong and calm it was unbelievable. She and Dad had been together since the 6th grade. We all worried that she was in shock, but she has remained strong until this day and I have come to realize that, that was the way she has handled every tragedy and hardship since I have been alive. I have so much respect and admiration for her. Not to mention that I love her with all of my heart.

Later that day, we went for the viewing. I wasn't sure that I wanted to, or even could see my Dad that way. But, I am so glad that I did! I was able to at least say my Goodbyes. I was able to at least tell him how much I loved him. It still hurt terribly, but I was able to get some closure.

The next few days were the worst. Dealing with the loss, trying to help with funeral arrangements, and notifying people of Dad's passing as I thought of who would need to know. Meeting with the preacher to discuss the service did not even feel real. Oh, I just remembered... Ironically, I had went to a funeral for the Mother of one of my best friends', the day that my Dad had died. I remembered sitting there listening to the preacher say how she was in a better place, and how we should be rejoicing. I thought to myself, "ya know, I believe in God and Heaven, and what the bible promises us, but how can that make anybody feel better about losing someone?". So, I told the preacher that I absolutely did not want to hear that. I am convinced that my Dad is in heaven, and I believe how wonderful it is, but I am not going to rejoice! My Dad WAS NOT ready to go! My Dad should be HERE, taking care of my Mom, my Grandma, and my Grandpa. My Dad should be HERE, watching his Grandchildren grow up, and tickling them, and making speghetti. My Dad should be HERE, for the church, and for all of the other people and organizations that I found out depended on him for so much. And mostly, my Dad should be HERE, for me, like he always was, like I so desperately still need him to be.

The last thing for now that I want to talk about is dressing my Dad for the final viewing before the cremation. I had taken my Dad's death so hard, that everyone, including the Funeral Home director ( I forget her name, but she was so wonderful. Even opening up at anytime that someone wanted to see Dad. My family and I will never forget her) didn't think I should do it, but something inside me told me that I had to do this. Besides, I didn't want someone that wasn't close to Dad, dressing him. I know that it sounds pretty morbid, but it was actually very therapeutic. I took a brand new royal blue shirt that my Mom had bought him, but he hadn't had the chance to wear yet. When she brought him out to me, the calm that came over me was unreal. I saw all of the scars that the organ donor team had left and remarked how Dad was always helping someone, even after he left. I talked to him, even joked with him when I had trouble buttoning his top button on his neck, telling him that he was going to give me grief right up till the last. It was so difficult, that she suggested not buttoning it. I told her "no way,. Dad would never leave his top button open when he was dressing up". His hair was combed some funky way, so I fixed it exactly how he had worn it his entire life. I never thought about it until now, but I don't think he ever changed his hair style. In every picture I have ever seen, even as a toddler, he has always parted his hair on the side, with the front flipped back. I am proud and oddly happy that I had that honor and the chance to spend that time alone with my Dad.

If you know me, you have probably seen me wearing a small cross on a chain around my neck. It contains some of Dad's cremations and assures me that he is with me at all times.


Dad,
I love you so much. We all miss you so much that it hurts. You would be so proud of C**** and T*****. They are both in the Royalty Court for C***, with T**** being the first runner up in the Little Miss contest. I wish you were here at this years Monterey County Fair. C**** got her first Reserve 4-H Champion with her pig. They both constantly talk about "Poppy" and how they love and miss you. I don't want to say Goodbye again, but I can't type forever, lol. Please tell me the hurt will someday go away, or at least be less painful.

I LOVE YOU!!!

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

HEY!! , Old, my ASS!! :tongue: lol

Your behind is old but it still looks good.

I started dealing with death when I was about 7 years old. It was a cousin. When I was 9, my dad's parents were killed in a wreck. They were really my emotional parents. I've lost many cousins, aunts & uncles, all my grandparents, my mother, and many friends. It still hurts but you just go on with life. I had 12 friends die in 24 months. Three of those people were three of the best friends I've ever had. It was tough.

 

[bigbull29]

Hi Ryan, It's funny that you mention the religous part, as I was brought up very religous. I'm going to post something I wrote on the 1st year maker of his death. (Blanks are names) notice the are that I have colored blue... Apologies in advance for the length of this post.......
*************************************************

One year ago today, I lost one of the most special people in my life. His love for God and his family was undeniable.

To say that we didn't get along well when I was younger would be an understatement. But as we both grew up, we became closer every year. I guess I was in my early 20's before I was able to start establishing a relationship with him. By the time I was in my 30's, we had become fairly close. In the next 10 years, I would find out how much I truley loved him. Anytime that I needed help, he was my first phone call. He would drop whatever he was doing, and do his best to help me. Now don't get me wrong, we were both very strong in our opinions, and frequently disagreed. In fact as weird as it sounds, even when I knew for sure that we would disagree, I still wanted to call him first. I just needed to talk to him.

Throughout my marriage, he was always there to support me. Each year when my ex would leave, or want a divorce, he was always my support. He always would tell me to call, anytime day or night when I needed to talk. No matter what she had done, he would also tell me to tell her that they still loved her, and he never treated her differently when he would see her. Even when he learned of the nasty things that she had said about him, and when she denied a $150,000 loan that he had given us to get my house, he never waivered. His ability to forgive people was amazing.


I can still remember it, like it just happened. It was just after 5pm, Thursday, Sept. 8th, 2005. I had just come home from picking C**** and T*** up from the daycare after work. I walked in the door and the phone was ringing. I answered it, and it was my Uncle E***. As I started to talk, he interrupted me and told me that I needed to get to Fallon, Nevada as soon as possible. My Dad had been taken to the hospital and was not expected to make it. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All I could do was just sit there screaming NO. My immediate thought was to call my sister, R****. I knew that she was driving home, and I didn't want anything to happen to her, so when she answered, I gathered myself and told her that I needed her to come to my house right away, but nothing more. I then called my girlfriend C****n and told her. She immediately offered to stop her riding lesson that she was giving and come be with me. She is so special, I can't imagine my life without her. There are periods of time that are a blur, but I know that I started calling family and other people that I felt needed to know.

When my sister arrived, it was all I could do to blurt out "Dad is dieing". I realize now how shocking that must have been, and I hope that she can forgive me, but I couldn't think clearly. I had never cried so hard in my life. I just couldn't believe that this was happening.

Within the next hour, I called Southwest Airlines to buy emergency tickets for R**** and I. While I was on the phone, my call waiting beeped. The area code told me it was from Nevada. I clicked over and my Mom told me that he was gone. I couldn't ask her how she was doing. I couldn't ask her anything. All I could do was repeat "Oh My God", over and over again. When she hung up, I returned to the lady from Southwest that was helping me. I told her that I no longer needed the tickets. I will never forget how compassionate and kind she was. I thanked her for being so helpful. I called R***** and told her, and decided that we would drive up in the morning.

I spent that night trying to pack for C****, T****, and I, constantly breaking down and crying uncontrollably. I remember my eyes feeling swollen. I remember going through periods of forgetting or at least not believeing. I remember wanting so bad to be able to call my Dad like I had always done when I was hurting. I wanted so bad to be able to tell him again how much I loved him. I remember begging God to let me wake up and it all be gone. I thank God for C***n, who stayed with me all night, helped me pack, and somehow convinced me to lay down. The last thing that I remember that night was her rubbing my head and telling me that she loved me.

The drive the next day was the hardest trip I have ever taken. I spent the time trying to remain as calm as possible. Firstly, and most importantly so I could drive safely. C**** and T**** were with us and I wanted to upset them as little as possible. It was pretty silent most of the way (6-7hrs), so I know it was not easy for them. I tried hard to comfort R**** as much as I could. When we arrived at my parents home, all that I remember is getting out of truck, uncontrollably sobbing, trying to stand up holding onto my truck, and then Uncle E*** holding me up, as I collapsed and felt like I had no strength left.

Mom was so strong and calm it was unbelievable. She and Dad had been together since the 6th grade. We all worried that she was in shock, but she has remained strong until this day and I have come to realize that, that was the way she has handled every tragedy and hardship since I have been alive. I have so much respect and admiration for her. Not to mention that I love her with all of my heart.

Later that day, we went for the viewing. I wasn't sure that I wanted to, or even could see my Dad that way. But, I am so glad that I did! I was able to at least say my Goodbyes. I was able to at least tell him how much I loved him. It still hurt terribly, but I was able to get some closure.

The next few days were the worst. Dealing with the loss, trying to help with funeral arrangements, and notifying people of Dad's passing as I thought of who would need to know. Meeting with the preacher to discuss the service did not even feel real. Oh, I just remembered... Ironically, I had went to a funeral for the Mother of one of my best friends', the day that my Dad had died. I remembered sitting there listening to the preacher say how she was in a better place, and how we should be rejoicing. I thought to myself, "ya know, I believe in God and Heaven, and what the bible promises us, but how can that make anybody feel better about losing someone?". So, I told the preacher that I absolutely did not want to hear that. I am convinced that my Dad is in heaven, and I believe how wonderful it is, but I am not going to rejoice! My Dad WAS NOT ready to go! My Dad should be HERE, taking care of my Mom, my Grandma, and my Grandpa. My Dad should be HERE, watching his Grandchildren grow up, and tickling them, and making speghetti. My Dad should be HERE, for the church, and for all of the other people and organizations that I found out depended on him for so much. And mostly, my Dad should be HERE, for me, like he always was, like I so desperately still need him to be.

The last thing for now that I want to talk about is dressing my Dad for the final viewing before the cremation. I had taken my Dad's death so hard, that everyone, including the Funeral Home director ( I forget her name, but she was so wonderful. Even opening up at anytime that someone wanted to see Dad. My family and I will never forget her) didn't think I should do it, but something inside me told me that I had to do this. Besides, I didn't want someone that wasn't close to Dad, dressing him. I know that it sounds pretty morbid, but it was actually very therapeutic. I took a brand new royal blue shirt that my Mom had bought him, but he hadn't had the chance to wear yet. When she brought him out to me, the calm that came over me was unreal. I saw all of the scars that the organ donor team had left and remarked how Dad was always helping someone, even after he left. I talked to him, even joked with him when I had trouble buttoning his top button on his neck, telling him that he was going to give me grief right up till the last. It was so difficult, that she suggested not buttoning it. I told her "no way,. Dad would never leave his top button open when he was dressing up". His hair was combed some funky way, so I fixed it exactly how he had worn it his entire life. I never thought about it until now, but I don't think he ever changed his hair style. In every picture I have ever seen, even as a toddler, he has always parted his hair on the side, with the front flipped back. I am proud and oddly happy that I had that honor and the chance to spend that time alone with my Dad.

If you know me, you have probably seen me wearing a small cross on a chain around my neck. It contains some of Dad's cremations and assures me that he is with me at all times.


Dad,
I love you so much. We all miss you so much that it hurts. You would be so proud of C**** and T*****. They are both in the Royalty Court for C***, with T**** being the first runner up in the Little Miss contest. I wish you were here at this years Monterey County Fair. C**** got her first Reserve 4-H Champion with her pig. They both constantly talk about "Poppy" and how they love and miss you. I don't want to say Goodbye again, but I can't type forever, lol. Please tell me the hurt will someday go away, or at least be less painful.

I LOVE YOU!!!

He will always love you, buddy. There's no doubt in my heart. He's forever with you.:smile:

 

[grower_60]

Well, Countryguy63, I've been sensative all my life too. I can be as hard ass as anyone but the other side of that is quite understanding and sympathetic.
Reading your story and message to your father started the water works for me.
I lost both of my parents before I was 30. Mother's passing was the hardest, but, each year becomes easier and it will for you too.

 

[bigbull29]

all i meant was , some people over eat or binge drink when they grieve,

lots of sex helps me get through almost anything.

I think sex could be therapeutic when you're down. It's a natural way to release built-up emotion.

 

[ryan25yo]

sex IS my religion

how sad! i really hope you're joking.

 

[D_Smidley Smelliepits]

how sad! i really hope you're joking.

Sad?

 

[DaveyR]

Sad?

That was my reaction too.

 

[DAMP1]

I think of death all the time, and not necessarily out of fear. Being part of the AIDS "plague" generation - there were 5 of us who all moved to LA pretty much at the same time - I find myself the only one left, of course thats not counting, maybe about 30 guys who were acquaintes. At my age I find it painful to not share "old stories" or situations with people who were actually there with me. The person who was the "life long" friend was one of the 5. I was with the only one thru the last moments of his life - that was 16 years ago this week. I don't like to watch old movies knowing the actors are dead... I feel sad when I hear music by someone who's dead.... it makes me so sad I can't appreciate the quality of the music.

 

[nudeyorker]

First I want to say how sorry I am for the losses that you and the others who have shared their grief here. The loss of my parents and brother, my first love and good friends at one point in my life shattered me to the point that I had to go to a psychologist who specialized in grief from death of a loved one. It was a tremendous help for me because I learned that I will never get over the loss but must move forward and live my life without them. It is not an easy journey because at first I wanted to forget about them so the pain would go away; however I've learned that because I think about them nearly every day and most certainly during the holidays... because I can remember them and hold them in my heart I can more fully appreciate what they brought to my life and helped to make me who I am now during their life and what I learned about myself after their death. I wish you the best with your journey and hope that it is filled with peace and no regrets.

 

[pussnboots]

nudeyorker -- that is very sweet. Thanks for sharing.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

As has been said already on this thread, there are a lot of ways to deal with the death of someone you love. What I've come to in understanding this emotionally, is that by doing the most simple things with a great amount of attention or mindfulness, a certain level of equanimity starts arising in me. It sounds so basic but it has been a wonderful spiritual gift to me.

 

[nubian]

Hi Ryan, It's funny that you mention the religous part, as I was brought up very religous. I'm going to post something I wrote on the 1st year marker of his death. (Blanks are names) notice the are that I have colored blue... Apologies in advance for the length of this post.......
*************************************************

One year ago today, I lost one of the most special people in my life. His love for God and his family was undeniable.

To say that we didn't get along well when I was younger would be an understatement. But as we both grew up, we became closer every year. I guess I was in my early 20's before I was able to start establishing a relationship with him. By the time I was in my 30's, we had become fairly close. In the next 10 years, I would find out how much I truley loved him. Anytime that I needed help, he was my first phone call. He would drop whatever he was doing, and do his best to help me. Now don't get me wrong, we were both very strong in our opinions, and frequently disagreed. In fact as weird as it sounds, even when I knew for sure that we would disagree, I still wanted to call him first. I just needed to talk to him.

Throughout my marriage, he was always there to support me. Each year when my ex would leave, or want a divorce, he was always my support. He always would tell me to call, anytime day or night when I needed to talk. No matter what she had done, he would also tell me to tell her that they still loved her, and he never treated her differently when he would see her. Even when he learned of the nasty things that she had said about him, and when she denied a $150,000 loan that he had given us to get my house, he never waivered. His ability to forgive people was amazing.


I can still remember it, like it just happened. It was just after 5pm, Thursday, Sept. 8th, 2005. I had just come home from picking C**** and T*** up from the daycare after work. I walked in the door and the phone was ringing. I answered it, and it was my Uncle E***. As I started to talk, he interrupted me and told me that I needed to get to Fallon, Nevada as soon as possible. My Dad had been taken to the hospital and was not expected to make it. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All I could do was just sit there screaming NO. My immediate thought was to call my sister, R****. I knew that she was driving home, and I didn't want anything to happen to her, so when she answered, I gathered myself and told her that I needed her to come to my house right away, but nothing more. I then called my girlfriend C****n and told her. She immediately offered to stop her riding lesson that she was giving and come be with me. She is so special, I can't imagine my life without her. There are periods of time that are a blur, but I know that I started calling family and other people that I felt needed to know.

When my sister arrived, it was all I could do to blurt out "Dad is dieing". I realize now how shocking that must have been, and I hope that she can forgive me, but I couldn't think clearly. I had never cried so hard in my life. I just couldn't believe that this was happening.

Within the next hour, I called Southwest Airlines to buy emergency tickets for R**** and I. While I was on the phone, my call waiting beeped. The area code told me it was from Nevada. I clicked over and my Mom told me that he was gone. I couldn't ask her how she was doing. I couldn't ask her anything. All I could do was repeat "Oh My God", over and over again. When she hung up, I returned to the lady from Southwest that was helping me. I told her that I no longer needed the tickets. I will never forget how compassionate and kind she was. I thanked her for being so helpful. I called R***** and told her, and decided that we would drive up in the morning.

I spent that night trying to pack for C****, T****, and I, constantly breaking down and crying uncontrollably. I remember my eyes feeling swollen. I remember going through periods of forgetting or at least not believeing. I remember wanting so bad to be able to call my Dad like I had always done when I was hurting. I wanted so bad to be able to tell him again how much I loved him. I remember begging God to let me wake up and it all be gone. I thank God for C***n, who stayed with me all night, helped me pack, and somehow convinced me to lay down. The last thing that I remember that night was her rubbing my head and telling me that she loved me.

The drive the next day was the hardest trip I have ever taken. I spent the time trying to remain as calm as possible. Firstly, and most importantly so I could drive safely. C**** and T**** were with us and I wanted to upset them as little as possible. It was pretty silent most of the way (6-7hrs), so I know it was not easy for them. I tried hard to comfort R**** as much as I could. When we arrived at my parents home, all that I remember is getting out of truck, uncontrollably sobbing, trying to stand up holding onto my truck, and then Uncle E*** holding me up, as I collapsed and felt like I had no strength left.

Mom was so strong and calm it was unbelievable. She and Dad had been together since the 6th grade. We all worried that she was in shock, but she has remained strong until this day and I have come to realize that, that was the way she has handled every tragedy and hardship since I have been alive. I have so much respect and admiration for her. Not to mention that I love her with all of my heart.

Later that day, we went for the viewing. I wasn't sure that I wanted to, or even could see my Dad that way. But, I am so glad that I did! I was able to at least say my Goodbyes. I was able to at least tell him how much I loved him. It still hurt terribly, but I was able to get some closure.

The next few days were the worst. Dealing with the loss, trying to help with funeral arrangements, and notifying people of Dad's passing as I thought of who would need to know. Meeting with the preacher to discuss the service did not even feel real. Oh, I just remembered... Ironically, I had went to a funeral for the Mother of one of my best friends', the day that my Dad had died. I remembered sitting there listening to the preacher say how she was in a better place, and how we should be rejoicing. I thought to myself, "ya know, I believe in God and Heaven, and what the bible promises us, but how can that make anybody feel better about losing someone?". So, I told the preacher that I absolutely did not want to hear that. I am convinced that my Dad is in heaven, and I believe how wonderful it is, but I am not going to rejoice! My Dad WAS NOT ready to go! My Dad should be HERE, taking care of my Mom, my Grandma, and my Grandpa. My Dad should be HERE, watching his Grandchildren grow up, and tickling them, and making speghetti. My Dad should be HERE, for the church, and for all of the other people and organizations that I found out depended on him for so much. And mostly, my Dad should be HERE, for me, like he always was, like I so desperately still need him to be.

The last thing for now that I want to talk about is dressing my Dad for the final viewing before the cremation. I had taken my Dad's death so hard, that everyone, including the Funeral Home director ( I forget her name, but she was so wonderful. Even opening up at anytime that someone wanted to see Dad. My family and I will never forget her) didn't think I should do it, but something inside me told me that I had to do this. Besides, I didn't want someone that wasn't close to Dad, dressing him. I know that it sounds pretty morbid, but it was actually very therapeutic. I took a brand new royal blue shirt that my Mom had bought him, but he hadn't had the chance to wear yet. When she brought him out to me, the calm that came over me was unreal. I saw all of the scars that the organ donor team had left and remarked how Dad was always helping someone, even after he left. I talked to him, even joked with him when I had trouble buttoning his top button on his neck, telling him that he was going to give me grief right up till the last. It was so difficult, that she suggested not buttoning it. I told her "no way,. Dad would never leave his top button open when he was dressing up". His hair was combed some funky way, so I fixed it exactly how he had worn it his entire life. I never thought about it until now, but I don't think he ever changed his hair style. In every picture I have ever seen, even as a toddler, he has always parted his hair on the side, with the front flipped back. I am proud and oddly happy that I had that honor and the chance to spend that time alone with my Dad.

If you know me, you have probably seen me wearing a small cross on a chain around my neck. It contains some of Dad's cremations and assures me that he is with me at all times.


Dad,
I love you so much. We all miss you so much that it hurts. You would be so proud of C**** and T*****. They are both in the Royalty Court for C***, with T**** being the first runner up in the Little Miss contest. I wish you were here at this years Monterey County Fair. C**** got her first Reserve 4-H Champion with her pig. They both constantly talk about "Poppy" and how they love and miss you. I don't want to say Goodbye again, but I can't type forever, lol. Please tell me the hurt will someday go away, or at least be less painful.

I LOVE YOU!!!

What a story. You had quite the incredible father. I'm sure he was so proud of you.

 

[Capitolhillguy]

I hope your experience is isolated as it is now. I have dealt with 33 deaths of friends and family, 27 of them from AIDS during the plague. One becomes cynical after experiencing so much loss. My brother couldn't put up photos of my parents till at least a decade passed after their deaths.

 

[drac]

People die, it's that simple. You need to be more concerned with how we live as opposed to when we die. It is difficult for anyone with a heartbeat and feelings to not be upset when someone dies. As long as you can still get up in the morning and continue thru your day and continue to live a happy life, you're doing good. If you find at times that you are just depressed about not having someone in your life then remember the times that you spent with them that made your relationship so special. Think of the good. We all know that if we passed and our friends and family members spent a lot of time mourning over us, we wouldn't want that. When I die, I hope everyone I know is laughing and having a good time. Remember the good to get over your sadness. And by the way, you don't need a psych to get over anything.

As a side note, if you have friends or family that are in a grave site, STOP going there, they aren't there, they are within and all around you, not in a hole. That's advice for everyone, cemetaries are a disgrace to humankind.

 

[thadjock]

As a side note, if you have friends or family that are in a grave site, STOP going there, they aren't there, they are within and all around you, not in a hole. That's advice for everyone, cemetaries are a disgrace to humankind.

your whole post pretty much sums up my philosophy about death too.

and when i go, burn me and scatter me where i luv to play.

stop using land to plant dead human remains, cemetaries are basically well groomed landfills of concrete vaults and platinum colored caskets filled with composting toxic (embalming fluid) waste.,

let your loved ones become the mineral part of something new, plants, ocean, trees, etc.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

and when i go, burn me and scatter me where i luv to play.

ThadLube™?:smoker2:
Your idea's original, I spoze.