A man and his wife were about to celebrate 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday dinner in honor of their parents As usual, they were all late and had a varied assortment of excuses "Happy anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one... "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency, you know how it is, didn't have time to get you both a present." "Not to worry," said the Dad... "The important thing is that we're all together today. "Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom still look great, Dad. Just flew in from L.A. and didn't have time to get you a present. sorry." "It's nothing," said the father, "Glad you were able to be here." Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello you both, happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing.... so I didn't have time to get you guys anything." Again the father said, "I really don't care, at least the five of us are together today." After they all finished dessert, the father put down his knife and fork, looked up and said, "Listen you three, there's something your mother and I h! ave wanted to tell you for a long time. Well... your mother and I came to this country penniless and desperate. Despite this, we were able to raise each of you and send you to college. All through the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much but... we just never found the time to get married." "The three kids gasped and said, "You mean we're BASTARDS?" "Yep," said the Dad...."AND CHEAP ONES TOO"