Hard being a man?

nudeyorker

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I think if you work in the beauty or entertainment industry where how you look is discussed and critiqued constantly it is very difficult to live by the harsh expectations.
If however someone decides to take these sometimes unrealistic expectations on because of vanity; then the difficulty of maintaining an impossible perfection is their own making.
It's a good idea to be trim and healthy and take the best possible care of yourself and likely you will appear at the top of your game but most of all you will be happy, healthy and look just fine.
The cosmetics industry has somehow brainwashed half the world to believe that they are trolls living under a bridge. I see so many unhappy people trying to look perfect that I think they have lost the ability to see themselves objectively because they look sad, pathetic and hungry.
I've told this story here before but I once saw a couple on the subway and they obviously had just returned from a ski trip because of their goggle sun burn lines and clearly they had enjoyed a life worshiping the sun. My friend and I were discussing them after we left the subway and we both concluded at the same time... "they have not had botox or plastic surgery... they are just living their life and being happy and they are still in love with each other... They looked fantastic, they looked like I want to be when I grow up.
 

ManofThunder

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The truth is simple, both men and women feel pressured to 'look good' even when others aren't judging them. I have rarely encountered someone who is bold enough to say that, in their opinion - I'm ugly. Likewise, I have scarcely encountered a person who is willing to say, "Dye your hair jet-black - you would be so much sexier in my eyes." Still though, I feel compelled to stay in shape for more than health reasons and maintain a certain level of personal appearance. On a subconscious level, we all vainly worry (to some extent) about what others think of us. Truly, I don't like to think of myself as vain or even as a person who worries about what others think. I feel others are the same way - we semi-automatically force ourselves into a vicious cycle of 'denial' and vain fear. It's only a select number of individuals who actually cave-in to these feelings and embrace cruelly mocking, and judging others as they believe people are them. A sort of self-defence mechanism I suppose. Attack to defend.

I'm straying from my point though, which is this; we all fear what others think and respond accordingly - regardless of gender. We do this despite knowing that, deep down, there is no way of pleasing everybody and catering to everyones taste. Height, weight, penis size, breast size, muscle-mass and any other physical trait are different in everybody. In the same way, peoples preferences are all different and vary enormously. Most people realise all this and so, (to some degree) disregard all these traits. They look at more fundamental and important things first and physical attractiveness second. What reaches out and grabs peoples attention is kindness, individuality, personality, sense of humour and intelligence. So, in conclusion - I wouldn't be able to say that men have it any easier or harder than women. You could argue for example, that men are more 'lusty' and would employ (assuming they're straight) a female secretary with a short-skirt over a perfectly competent male. An example of a woman using her looks and very gender to get what she wants. On the other hand, you could then argue that a woman finds it much more difficult to find a job with importance and power in a 'man's world'; where women are looked upon as sex-objects and little more. Apologies for the rant. :smile:
 

sdbg

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Yes, looks are important. I would say this applies equally to both men and women. There is no denying that a handsome face, a great body, and a big smile will get us noticed. I was really obsessed with it when I was younger. I spent hours in the gym several times per week, ran 6 miles 5 times per week. It worked, and I was really fit. All of the pressure to look good was self-imposed. Over the years, I haven't been able to keep up the pace. I ride a bike now instead of running due to a knee injury. I still go to the gym, but am far from as buffed as I used to be. I'll turn 60 next month, and at this point in my life, I want to be healthy and fit enough to enjoy the things that I like to do. I know that my days of looking like a hot young stud are over, and I'm okay with it. I no longer feel any pressure about my looks. I do the best I can with what I have to work with and am happy with where I'm at.
 

B_Bjen2848

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im convinced that all the pressures made by society to look "good", for both genders are started out by the opposite gender (turn ons and turn offs). these pressures are not ridiculous or nearly impossible to maintain by the average person, what the majority of pressure come from are by those in the same gender. chappelle had a routine about this topic that was pretty smart that i'll try to put in my own words. have you ever seen those magazines in the supermarkets that have the articles that go a little something like "THE TOP 100 WAYS TO PLEASE YOUR MAN!!!" - written by 'some lady' ... like how the hell can a woman know what its like to feel pleasure as a man? and then when you look at the lists, its a bunch of stuff that hardly anyone cares about ... i might be rambling here a bit and going off topic, but what im trying to say is to not look at other people or magazines etc. and try to compare yourself to see if you "stack up" to the others, just try to look (and more importantly) FEEL the best you can, because that is FAR more attractive than trying to copy someone else's look ...

just my 2 cents
 

randomed

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I agree with you Joe, totally. But man, there's nothin you have to worry about. Your piece of meat can beat many buff muscular guys.
 

mexdude

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It would vary in what goal the women want, reaching model looks, it would be ultra tough, but reaching average nice figure would be less complicated than reaching a ripped body on a man, as for the men looks, i dnt believe much magazines, since most guy pics do have photoshop, as well as women on magazines, also supplements i see them as a bit of a risk since i was reading about olympic runners that didnt took them, as well as some profesional boxers, and those guys not only look great, they perform to high levels.
 

maxcok

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I agree with you Joe, totally. But man, there's nothin you have to worry about. Your piece of meat can beat many buff muscular guys.
Of course, and as we all know, a big tool is ultimately the single most important thing women are looking for in a man, overriding all other qualities. The trick is figuring out how to let them know you're packing so they find you irresistible. I suggest saying something like, "Hey, I have a huge cock. Wanna go out for drinks and then ride the pony?"
 

B_Hung Jon

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Haha, yeah after my moaning post I did just go out and eat a mcdonald's so I'm obviously not doing myself any favours!

And I think that what people have said is probably true, that the pressure comes from your own gender and your own insecurities, and need to compete with them. I think it doesn't help either, that men and women are wired so incredibly differently, men seem to be really visual whereas women aren't so much. So for a woman to be impressed by a man's looks it really does take something special?


I would say that this is a very superficial discussion. No amount of physical manipulative on the part of a man or a woman is going to make that person more interesting and valuable. As my dad often says, at the end of your life when you're dead, no one's going to say "Man, s/he has a great body".
 

shyguy01

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A Women's Guide To Male English
-- What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
-- I'm hungry = I'm hungry
-- I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
-- I'm tired = I'm tired
-- What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
-- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
-- Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
-- I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
A Man's Guide To Female English
-- We need to talk = I need to complain
-- Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
-- I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
-- We need = I want
-- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
-- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
-- I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
-- You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
-- You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
-- I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
-- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
-- I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
-- I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
-- Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
-- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
-- Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
-- How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
-- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
-- Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
-- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
-- Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
-- Yes = No
-- No = No
-- Maybe = No
-- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
-- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
-- Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
-- Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
-- All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

The Mathematics of Men and Women Relationships
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Random Thoughts on Man and Woman Relationships
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 

sodominsane

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I was just watching Jersey Shore and couldn't help thinking how important it is these days for a man to have the perfect body, and then in the ad break an ad came on for that R J Berger show where the main character has an enormous cock. Berger gets threatened in the ad by some girl's jealous boyfriend, who naturally has his shirt off and has amazing pecs and body etc.

Women are constantly complaining about the pressures on them to look sexy but I think men have it worse to be honest. Women are just expected to be slim whereas men are expected to have these ridiculous, unattainable bodies that you would have to work out for hours and hours and hours to achieve. Plus, if a woman has big boobs she can pretty much have a crap body. So basically, women just have to cut back on what they eat a bit, whereas men really have to put hard work in to fulfilling what society stereotypically thinks is hot.

Plus, do you think men are just easier and so are more open to compromise? A lot of girls seem to think they can get really attractive men even when they don't look so good themselves... Anyone agree?

Also, the size of a man's cock, he has no control over. He can't really wear make up like women can to look hotter... and women can just get breast enhancement easily and become automatically desirable! So do you think men have it hard?

this might be off topic a bit in the who has it worse but......i grew up with 3 sisters and have never been with out a women in my life since i was 18.....and the bulk of my friends are women

physically i think you underestemate how hard it is for them to keep thin....now i have known a few high level atheletes and dated a freak of nature or two ....but by and large it is ALOT easyer for men to lose weight and stay slim.....its the estogen and lack of muscle mass......

most girls its a constent battle to "make weight".....for me i just skip butter on a bagel for a few days and 5 lbs is gone


part of it is we want women to be thinner than is natural.
 

scottredleter

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I don't think it has to be a contest as to who has it harder. The pressure to be perfect has finally caught up to men (check out straight 70s porn if you don't believe me).
It's important for everyone to be able to be who they are and not be so freaked out about not looking like the fake people on tv and in advertisements.

Your point is taken though. EAting disorders were once only afflicting women, but it (and things like it ) are now starting to affect men.

One of the things I always liked about straight men as a gay man was their lack of 'give-a'damn' as long as they were getting their dicks sucked... those days are gone I fear.