yea, you got it.
we do do that. and yes patience and love always is a main part of it too. The thing is though, she is extreemly small. shes 105lbs and 5'7", especially compaired to me (6'5" 230). Iv heard people say that smaller women have a harder time being with a bigger guy. I think no matter what we do, its just gonna wind up with her in a lot of pain.
I suspect relaxation is the key, along with trust and true arousal. Even with that, and plenty of lube, I wouldn't expect for you to just slide right in right away. Sometimes I think some women's body can take more than a moment to get used to certain sizes. A lot of guys lack restraint I've noticed, but sometimes starting slow and maintaining that for a while can help.
I just recently had a similar experience with a woman who was also nervous with my size, specifically my 6" girth. I took it extremely slow, and still had trouble penetrating her, and we used a fair amount of lube too. After a few minutes, I was able to get maybe the first 3 inches in. It was incredibly tight, but she seemed alright. I was the one having the problems. Felt like a vise-grip on my dick, and for a minute, I wanted to call it off. It was just too intense for me. I kept going slow though, and she seemed to relax and loosen up more and more. I then relaxed, and the sex actually went pretty smoothly from there, with neither of us wanting to stop. We ended up fucking for about 90 minutes I guess, after me thinking we'd be lucky to make 5 minutes. We did both admit that neither had had sex in a while later though, which added to our nervousness too I think. Being a true virgin probably adds a different dynamic, but still being patient and starting and going slow could help.
Truthfully, I think this is a question that probably needs more of a female perspective though.