Long story short, there is dissatisfaction in the frequency and quality of me and my wife's sex life. I have been honest and not accusatory about it with her, and she has been...forthcoming as to her continued sexual desire for me, as well as the health issues that hinder our intimacy(has been diagnosed with possible vaginal vericose veins or gout, or some sort of clitoral eczema), not to mention the time and privacy hindrances we both have.
As such patience and compromise have been the key and that has resulted in a reliable schedule of 1 sex encounter every 3-3.5 weeks(usually 1-2 days prior to her period), not sustainably a long term ideal, but Im not interesting in hurting her or making sex a painful experience, so again, compromise.
What that has done is highlight the instances that deviate from that norm, and Im starting to notice a pattern that seemingly goes back to when we were first together and banging daily almost, in that it seems to be inspired by fears of mate poaching. Case in point, the 3-3.5 week mark was a couple of days ago, so like normal we end up having sex. So now as I don't anticipate any opportunities in the immediate future, I concentrate on staving off frustration and resentment for another 3 weeks. My wife gets a call from her teenaged niece whom just started work at a fast food restaurant. I, just hrs before, had been questioned by a co-worker about this same niece because this restaurant happens to be my co-workers 2nd job. My niece was relaying that to my wife, who immediately shot me a look and asked her to generally describe the employee, a fair skinned 19 yr old woman, which got me side eye #2. Now mind you I work with lots of folks in a place with high turnover, separated from virtually all of them by department, i see and greet in passing or at breaks, zero side by side or in depth discussion, just pleasantries and greetings. On top of that the pandemic has limited my social interactions drastically for the past yr, so I hadnt even been in situations which could inflame her insecurities for awhile. In either case I got to endure questions rooted in insecurity(in a joking non accusatory manner, to her credit)and some teasing before I went to bed(I work nights). Minutes later, my wife is in the bed with me, hornily aggressive as she was during our dating phase(more so than normal), so much so I may have been able to help her to squirt for the 1st time, ever(or I was good enough to cause her to lose control and pee a little, either is a win in my book). It wasnt until after I woke up, went to work and had time to talk to myself and sort out my thoughts that I recognized this pattern of ultra aggressive, out of pattern sex that coincides with when she seemingly perceived a romantic/sexual rival was in proximity, particularly one that possessed or inhabited something that spoke to whatever insecurity she had; a trend that stems literally from the 1st time we ever hooked up
My questions after all that are, is it healthy behavior on her part, that the best sex game she brings to the table only seems to come from mate poaching scares, and am I right for feeling some kind of weird way about it? Now that Ive started to notice the pattern, I feel ickier about capitalizing upon the extra sexual opportunities afforded to me, while simultaneously feeling icky about passing up the same opportunities given the health and intimacy situation as is.
As such patience and compromise have been the key and that has resulted in a reliable schedule of 1 sex encounter every 3-3.5 weeks(usually 1-2 days prior to her period), not sustainably a long term ideal, but Im not interesting in hurting her or making sex a painful experience, so again, compromise.
What that has done is highlight the instances that deviate from that norm, and Im starting to notice a pattern that seemingly goes back to when we were first together and banging daily almost, in that it seems to be inspired by fears of mate poaching. Case in point, the 3-3.5 week mark was a couple of days ago, so like normal we end up having sex. So now as I don't anticipate any opportunities in the immediate future, I concentrate on staving off frustration and resentment for another 3 weeks. My wife gets a call from her teenaged niece whom just started work at a fast food restaurant. I, just hrs before, had been questioned by a co-worker about this same niece because this restaurant happens to be my co-workers 2nd job. My niece was relaying that to my wife, who immediately shot me a look and asked her to generally describe the employee, a fair skinned 19 yr old woman, which got me side eye #2. Now mind you I work with lots of folks in a place with high turnover, separated from virtually all of them by department, i see and greet in passing or at breaks, zero side by side or in depth discussion, just pleasantries and greetings. On top of that the pandemic has limited my social interactions drastically for the past yr, so I hadnt even been in situations which could inflame her insecurities for awhile. In either case I got to endure questions rooted in insecurity(in a joking non accusatory manner, to her credit)and some teasing before I went to bed(I work nights). Minutes later, my wife is in the bed with me, hornily aggressive as she was during our dating phase(more so than normal), so much so I may have been able to help her to squirt for the 1st time, ever(or I was good enough to cause her to lose control and pee a little, either is a win in my book). It wasnt until after I woke up, went to work and had time to talk to myself and sort out my thoughts that I recognized this pattern of ultra aggressive, out of pattern sex that coincides with when she seemingly perceived a romantic/sexual rival was in proximity, particularly one that possessed or inhabited something that spoke to whatever insecurity she had; a trend that stems literally from the 1st time we ever hooked up
My questions after all that are, is it healthy behavior on her part, that the best sex game she brings to the table only seems to come from mate poaching scares, and am I right for feeling some kind of weird way about it? Now that Ive started to notice the pattern, I feel ickier about capitalizing upon the extra sexual opportunities afforded to me, while simultaneously feeling icky about passing up the same opportunities given the health and intimacy situation as is.