Has anyone ever broken a bed???

[hockeybro999]

Yup, it's usaually some cheap IKEA shit. That might work if you're reading bedtime stories but if you really want to take a chick to slam town always check the bedframe lol

 

[crossfitokefenokee]

Yup, it's usaually some cheap IKEA shit. That might work if you're reading bedtime stories but if you really want to take a chick to slam town always check the bedframe lol

Yes, I have broken a bed too....
And beds that have those wooden slats are the worst.....when youre laying the hammer down...they just snap

 

[deleted1058283]

One time while getting plowed by my ex Ricardo we totally broke each and every slat on his bed.
We laughed about it and rearranged the mattress and box spring then went right back at it.

 

[Capitolhillguy]

I broke a massage table with a really hot escort years ago. He stopped cumming to feed me after that.

 

[ericbear]

Various news outlets have reported that the 2020 Tokyo Olympics athlete housing bed frames will be made of corrugated cardboard, in an environmental gesture. The manufacturer claims they will withstand a weight of 200 kg (440 lbs, presumably tested with dead weight), and therefore should withstand the load of two people (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

However, I believe they have seriously miscalculated. I point out that these are elite athletes, and the committee at the Rio 2016 Olympics saw fit to distribute 450,000 condoms, or 42 per athlete. I simply cannot imagine anything made of cardboard surviving that much young, virile, muscular, athletic fucking. I suspect that many will be sleeping on the floor, after their beds have been pounded flat.

Olympic beds threaten athletes’ bedroom antics

 

[Bourbon34f]

Oh pleeez...

the question should be how many beds have you broken...

All I can say is the waterbed was the funniest...

 

[Capitolhillguy]

Does a massage table count? When I was a young erotic masseur I had a client who was a regular who happened to be one of the top 5 most gorgeous men out of thousands I ever had sex with. He was an escort, the lover of a big name porn star at the time and he had brown curly hair, was around 25, alabaster skin, the perfect porn cock and he was crazy about my big dick and we were all steamed up, hot and heavy, I got up on top of him and the god damn table broke. Alas! He never came back! It was one of the worst memories in my massage career.

 

[MCA]

Do futons and computer desks count?

 

[stretch8888]

Few years ago i hooked up with a long time friend, we'd been drinking and she started ranting about her recent break up, long story short she tells me she just needs to get laid, she ends up blowing me then we move it to her bedroom, her bed was some old hand me down piece of shit, being drunk and having already blown one load already i was good to go for awhile, eventually i started getting tired and went with a position i knew could get me there, bent her over the side of the bed and gave her everything i had, seconds from cumming the legs on the opposite side gave out and the bed went crashing over, we went with it as i blew my load.

Couple days later she invited my over to test out her new bed

 

[halcyondays]

Does a massage table count? When I was a young erotic masseur I had a client who was a regular who happened to be one of the top 5 most gorgeous men out of thousands I ever had sex with. He was an escort, the lover of a big name porn star at the time and he had brown curly hair, was around 25, alabaster skin, the perfect porn cock and he was crazy about my big dick and we were all steamed up, hot and heavy, I got up on top of him and the god damn table broke. Alas! He never came back! It was one of the worst memories in my massage career.

That's why I have kept a futon couch in my massage studio all these years! A sturdy one.

 

[Lance V]

I have never broken a bed, but I put a headboard through drywall.

 

[notthatguy]

My bed is on an Ikea bed frame. We regularly broke the wood slats. Luckily they come with a lifetime warranty. But the folks at Ikea got tired of seeing me every other month so gave me an extra set and told me to place them side by side instead of the spacing they have. Have not had a failure since.

The matress i replace every 6 months as it starts to get rather fragrant from the bodily fluids being absorbed by the foam. I used to use a rubber sheet under the mattress cover but it would always rool up because of the movement and friction.

 

[Tight_End_SC]

I was getting plowed on an air mattress and yea, we totally destroyed it. A big POP and of course all the air was gone in a matter of minutes. We just kept going and it ended up being an on the floor fuck. The thing is, the air mattress was supposed to be a very strong one, not the cheap kind you get at WallyWorld. Oh well... we made a memory.

 

[spaj8987]

Yes and no. It did indeed break. Though it wasn't because of us. Ah the trails and tribulations of being a cheapstake.

 

[BIGDP]

I haven’t broken a bed , but this is a true story. I hooked up with this guy named Dan. Loved his sweaty crack. His bed was pushed up next to the window, and during the course of our sex, I rolled over and broke the window.

Fast forward two years later. I met him and went home with him for sex. He lived in a different place. His bed was again pushed up next to the window. While we were thrashing around, I broke his window again!!! . I felt so bad, but what happens happens. ‍

 

[rope9839]

Here's my broken bed story. It did not turn out great.

My second wife and her ex husband were pretty much trainwrecks. They never really got over fighting with each other and used things like custody of the kids like a weapon. I got stuck in the middle of it.

After their divorce, he continued to consider her dating to be cheating on him. To the point of this thread, she and I broke her rickety old bed. When he was dropping off the kids, he saw this through the open door, came to a conclusion on how it happened and went nuts on her. She chose not only to confirm it, but tell him it was because I had a gigantic cock. He decided he wasn't dropping off the kids and left with them. She, brilliantly, decided to make a bad decision worse and sent him a picture of my cock that she had on her phone. Every bit as stupid a mistake as it sounds.

Next thing she knows, she's got a subpoena back into custody court and he wants a number of restrictions on her time with the kids, who can be around them and how she is allowed to communicate with him and the children. Part of his complaint was she was sending him lewd photos. Again, brilliant on her part. The judge sided with him on pretty much everything. It wasn't just this one incident, they both had a list of dysfunctional behaviors, but he had a way better lawyer. And he'd never sent naked pics of his new girlfriend to her, which was a huge factor.

So, yes, I've broken a bed.

Corollary to this story. At another hearing, I saw he was headed to the men's room while he was waiting for it to start. I headed in to the bathroom after him. It was an old courthouse and had one of those trough style urinals. A stepped a a couple of feet away from him and gave him the full show. I never made eye contact, but I could see out of my peripheral vision he was gawking. He was red faced the whole hearing.

I know if fucked with his head I was screwing her in ways he never could.

 

[blkbibottm2005]

Yep, happen with me.

Picture this.... On my back with my head at the corner of the foot of bed. Top had me on my back and my ankles on his shoulders. We were going at it pretty hard. All of a sudden, the frame cracks we tumble over onto the floor. We laughed so hard.

 

[thedude8199]

My current bed is broken. lol

 

[4081941]

I’ve broken 3.

 

[frutiger]

Was gonna talk about how my Ikea bed keeps getting destroyed. See that every other post mentions Ikea. I guess it really do be like that.