Has porn shaped the way women/men behave?

Discussion in 'Straight Adult Websites' started by D_Della Doubledees, Aug 27, 2008.

  1. D_Della Doubledees

    D_Della Doubledees New Member

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    I was talking with one of my male friends the other day, who is dating an 18 year old. He and I are the both in our thirties... and we were discussing whether or not porn has had an affect on the way women (or men) act during sex. He said that this girl, and a few younger girls that he has dated, as of late, seem to be mimicking what they see in porn: actions, expressions, and verbalizations.

    As porn styles have changed (in the last 20 years), it may be easier for me to see it now that I have something to compare it to... but maybe it's always been this way, and I just never noticed.

    I'm curious to know... what's your take on it?
     
  2. nevergiveup

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    I try to fcuk like a pornstar, that's for sure!
    But I realize a lot of that dick slapping, cum shooting, quick in-out kinda shit doesn't really please women.
    So in the end, porn can be a negative influence. But damn is it fun to watch!

    If only we were as smart as Asian cultures and taught our children about sex and pleasure through scriptures... This country is so backwards in that we shelter the youth from all the vices of society, because in the end it just makes them want to try them more.

    Education for the win.
     
  3. Flashy

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    well, back when i was a teenager (born in 71) and became sexually active, most girls did not buy or view porn, since it was not easily accessible for them....as a result through the mid 90s, most really did not know/or do much dirty talking or have different styles of oral sex for example, even the ones i was with who were considerably older.

    I think of all the women i hooked up with through the mid-nineties, only one or two actually talked dirty during sex and none of the hookups where i was not in a relationship, performed oral sex in anymore than a "1 technique" style...i.e. they had one motion, and stuck with that...with the ons i was in a relationship with it was much easier to show them things.

    I do not know if that is what your looking for...and since i am 37, i haven't been with a girl that was all that much younger than i in quite awhile (though i certainly would not mind it)
     
  4. D_Della Doubledees

    D_Della Doubledees New Member

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    That pretty much correlates with what he was implying. I guess porn can be considered a blessing to some, and a curse to others....

    On the one hand, it can be interpreted as "these people are having sex without limitations... uninhibited in the way of making noise, doing what they think feels good"

    On the other hand, it might give (some) people the sense that 'this is what all women/men like, want, or expect'....

    For me, the latter of the two never crossed my mind, though I can see how it would be possible. I feel comfortable in the things I do and the noises that I make, etc. I talk; I'm verbal... sometimes even too loud. I ask for what I want, but I think it's taken me a while to get there... and maybe that's why sometimes the porn stuff sounds a little 'staged', and therefore, I'm not as turned on by that (small) aspect of it.

    Watching porn probably helped me get over a little shyness when I first started watching it with men, but it mainly helped me pick out new things I wanted to try.... things that looked like they felt good. I always thought of porn as having an over exaggerated 'acting' element to it... though I knew these people were fucking, they also did it for a living, and the sounds were always overdubbed... so I knew that wasn't what they were actually saying.

    However, I would be closed minded if I believed the sounds and expressions themselves were not just as great of a turn on to some people as the video.

    I will note, that the "newer" porn that's out there has a lot less overdubbing... a lot more "gagging' noises... and girls violently spitting on cocks. LOL. Maybe that's my friend was implying. We didn't really get into details.
     
    #4 D_Della Doubledees, Aug 27, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2008
  5. Principessa

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    :lmao: First off, if he's with an 18 year old girl, they aren't dating, they're fucking. The chances of this being true love and ending up in marriage are slim to none. :cool: Is she an orphan cause no way in hell would my parents allowed me to 'date' a man in his 30's at that age.

    Back to the original question as a 42 yr old woman I can tell you that porn has never shaped my behavior. At 18, to me porn was the Playboy dad used to have delivered to the house. I had probably heard of XXX movies but had no clue what they might entail.

    I was well into my 20's before I saw an actual porn movie. My then bf showed me a few mild ones and I remember thinking , "this is it?" "This is what all the fuss is about?" :tongue: He then showed me some hardcore porn and I distinctly remember saying that he was crazy if he thought I was doing 'that.' :eek:

    Keep in mind that at 18 she has never known life without a pc, cell phone, or CD player. None of those things existed when I graduated high school in 1984. Internet porn is a way of life for most teen boys and many teen girls. I hope her actions aren't based on thinking porn is real. I think it's more that guys her age expect girls to act like what they seen in porn movies. So they do. They have no other frame of reference for normal or appropriate sexual behavior. :redface: Then again I could be completely wrong. :rolleyes:
     
  6. dclub02

    dclub02 New Member

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    It all depends on what we grow up around. If porn is all that you know of in regards to sex, then you will mimic that because that's what you think sex is. Everyone puts a little variation on it.

    I use porn as education and to see what the rest of the world is up to or at least what new perverted thing is new in some sleezy director's mind. I may or may not try some of the things I see but it surely won't shape my sex life. My wife an I are constantly experimenting with sex. We just go with what feels good and if it doesn't, we try something else.

    Either way, it's what you're exposed to. Think about it, what if porn was never a part of your life? What then?
     
  7. D_Della Doubledees

    D_Della Doubledees New Member

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    Very true!

    I'm certainly glad it has been, but I can only speak for myself.
     
  8. Flashy

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    I am definitely glad it was around...i pretty much learned everything from porn so i was not a complete idiot when i started being sexually active.

    I had seen plenty of porn by the time i was 14 and started being active, so i sort of knew what to do. by the time i was 18 i pretty much knew "almost" everything, though i had not perfected cunnilingus, i had a pretty good idea, but then the more porn i watched throughout later years allowed me to further learn it to the point where i think i have "maxxed out" the learning curve in so far as technique for oral and straight sex, in so far as positions etc. etc....and i think if the internet had been around in the mid-late 80s, my sexual education would have been even more rapid...

    frankly, considering it was 1985 when i lost my virginity at 14, and i had basic porn education and had seen dozens of videos, and i was still only semi-competent, i cannot imagine how guys who did not see porn, learned or knew what to do beyond stick it in etc....

    i understood holding off orgasm, etc. etc. and not just go as fast as you can till you cum etc...

    so it definitely shaped how i behaved sexually and still does till this day to some degree in terms of sexual relations
     
  9. D_Della Doubledees

    D_Della Doubledees New Member

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    True.... and that orphan bit cracked me up. LOL

    I think that I was in my 20's as well, though my first reaction was more like... "that isn't real... is it?" I kept watching, though, because it was sort of like watching a car accident.

    At first, I wasn't completely comfortable with it... I think because I was focusing on what my boyfriend was getting out of it, and not what I could get out of it myself. That could have been lack of maturity on my part.

    Then, as time went on, I started imagining how things would feel if I were the woman in the video I was watching.... (obviously, that started to dictate what I liked watching, and what I didn't like watching... but there were definitely a few things that I found myself wanting to try).

    If I were 18 and introduced to it the way teens are now, I might have formed a different opinion. I agree with you in hoping that the 18 year old doesn't think that porn is real, I'm sure... eventually, she'll figure it out.

    You bring up very good points.

    Thanks for sharing!
     
  10. W/In 1 Stand Dev

    W/In 1 Stand Dev Active Member

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    If it wasn't for the current crop of porn, what would everyone's pubic hair grooming standards be like, eh?
     
  11. maestro071

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    Yes it did change how we act and behave in bed 4 sure... Before there was a good chance if you would ask a girl to suck you, you would risk to be seen as pervert (or if u would lick her)... Nowdays they feel almost oblged to do so, as its so expected...
     
  12. Jovial

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    I'm not sure how it affects other people. For me, before I was experienced I learned a lot by watching lesbian clips. The way they kissed and touched was more like real lovemaking than straight porn. So I would say porn had a positive effect on me. I know that some of the straight stuff is fake and exaggerated.
     
  13. Flashy

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    well I am your age, and as far back as i recall being sexually active (the early 80s), receiving or giving oral sex didn't make you risk being seen as a pervert.

    It was a pretty normal part of sexual progression for most people...you usually get kissing and breastfondling first, then move on to handjobs/fingering, then oral sex and finally intercourse...(it can happen all at once i suppose, but usually follows a tentative progression for many people since you are usually young and experimenting together when it happens, unless you are with someone older and significantly more experienced)
     
  14. Iscream

    Iscream Active Member

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    First, sweetpetite, you have an award-winning ass... had to get that out there first. :cool:

    That said, I think that porn, like most of life has gotten to be more graphic and more instant gratification.

    GRAPHIC: Regular fucking won't due... now it's ass-to-mouth, gagging, huge tits, huge cocks, multiple partners, facials, gaping holes, etc...

    INSTANT: No story line (they were lame anyway), no buildup where you can't wait to see the woman naked. Its just a girl on the bed, he comes in and does it.

    If new porn teaches anything, it is that we should FUCK and not "make love" to our partners.
     
  15. Flashy

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    I agree on some level, but it depends on what kind you watch.

    regular fucking is totally fine with me if it is good...
    gagging not so much
    multiple partners isn't really "new"

    as you said, storylines are pretty useless, but if you want them you can still get them rather easily from studios like vivid and others.

    there is plenty of buildup in lots of them, especially higher end gonzo.

    Gonzo changed everything, and is preferable to me personally.

    I like getting to know the woman first, which happens quite alot, and allows you to at least form a bit more of a "bond" with her before the scene starts...it allows you another trait to like about an actress, because you truly see if they are enthusiastic, annoying, funny, etc. in as much as you can in a 5-10 minute pre-sex scene that usually occurs now.

    It is not saying so much we should not make love, but let's face it, if you are watching any porn, you really are not there to see "making love" but to see "fucking"...if you want to see "making love" there is a percentage of the porn market dedicated to that.

    but it is like Eddie Murphy said "Do you want someone to say "i wan't to make love to you darling" or do you want them to grab the back of your head and say "fuck the shit out of me"....most of the time, it tends to be the latter, though there is certainly nothing wrong with making love...

    3:25 mark

    YouTube - Eddie murphy -RAW

    but most people, when they just want to hookup, are not looking to make love, but to fuck, especially in newer relationships, or fuck-buddy situations
     
  16. Iscream

    Iscream Active Member

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    I agree on some level with you Flashy that these are skin flicks, and I am not interested in seeing the date, dinner, movie, stop at starbucks before the fuck scene, but..

    That's a long way from some of the fuck scenes that are out there, where the guy does not matter (his dick does) and the woman does not matter (as long as she can deepthroat, do anal or whatever the theme of the movie is).

    These are not movie classics, they're designed to get us off. It just seems to me that, like the real life we are in, porn has grown less personal then it once was.

    This thread sounds like a round-table discussion at some university... maybe an idea for a class that kids would actually attend. Not to mention that homework and the final would be interesting....
     
  17. Flashy

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    true...i have watched porn evolve from the early 80s to now...

    indeed porn is less personal in some ways since it is (effectively) designed now to get you off quickly, but in many ways i find it intensely more personal these days...

    I use as an example the amazing explosion of "POV" porn, which is fantastic, as it literally puts you right in the action...it is far more personal (to me at least) than some mid range camera shots of a couple fucking on a beach saying a couple of words to each other and grunting alot.

    with POV porn, it is heightening the experience for the viewer, since the actress is supposed to be having sex with the viewer hypothetically...all her attention, actions and words are focused at the viewer and the angles that are naturally used immediately hit the viewer's internal buttons since you can recognize and remember so quickly each position from real encounters etc.


    I find that style incredibly personal...not to mention, there were always in porn "solo videos" where the woman masturbates etc and talks to the viewer, and those were always filmed to give the viewer a more "interactive" and "personal" experience.

    I could do very well without alot of the more extreme porn that is on the market, such as choking, puking, slapping, demeaning, foot stuff, veerbal abuse, bukkake, and heavy bondage etc, but everyone as their one thing that they like...

    I am far from "vanilla" but for me there is a line when it no longer becomes sexy, but becomes either gross, or mean... (but unfortunately in those cases to each their own)

    these fetishes were always there, as far back as 40 years ago, but were so far underground, on reels and such, but now they can be easily found....in a world with what, 6.5 billion people each with unique desires and urges and surging technology, it is the natural progression
     
  18. maestro071

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    Sure ... I agree with all you said.
    Just I was referring not to the period of 80's but to the time before porn industry took massive role in shaping of our sex expectations and before massive appearance of porn movies in cinemas and on TV, video tapes etc...
    Hope this clarify and brings us to the same ground on the issue.
     
  19. Iscream

    Iscream Active Member

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    ... and sweetpetite still has a spectacular ass!
     
  20. stratedude

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    I got to throw in an observation I noticed in the past 8 or so years -

    I grew up in the 90's also, and I must say that things were a little on the conservative side. And my partying days pretty much ended around 2001-02 range.

    Now my little brother on the other hand was partying hard all the way up until last year, and after talking to him about some of the parties that he went to, we both came to a consensus - the girls are totally different than they used to be. Yeah, internet porn is definitely the main reason right now, however, I think the thing that launched the whole "drunk girl getting naked at the party" craze was definitely the Girls Gone Wild series. Ever since those tapes came out the party girls seem like a whole different animal - and there are more of them.

    But I think that was just the springboard of what was to come. Youtube has its fair share of young teenage 'booty dancers' and the readily available porn on the internet has to be playing a big part.

    But definitely times have changed.
     
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