Has the Net Affected Your Real Life Communication?

dreamer20

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On the net you have a sense of false intimacy where a total stranger often seems to get to a deeper level of intimacy quickly ...


Through internet communication I discovered real intimacy and some fakes too. IRL engaging in discussions of sexual or personal issues with others was highly unlikely for me, but commonplace here and at similar sites. I got to know a number of persons beforehand via one such site. When we met IRL, in the USA, there was no apparent awkwardness. Via our written words (and some pics) we were already familiar with each other and possessed a special kinship.

I'm loathe to tell local friends about my "penis club" membership as the two I have told think I'm some oddball member of a porn site. :laughing:
 

jason_els

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Two things I notice Holly, and please correct me if I'm wrong.

You've described beautifully how marvelous the internet can be for opening doors that were closed. All the friends I've made on the internet and met IRL I've bonded to instantly. No issues what so ever. The effect now is that I speak much more frankly and directly to people than I ever have. I find myself intolerant of coyness. Like No_Strings, I'm an loler in real life and make no apologies for it. I BRB, IMHO, and K too.

People involved in BDSM have very low tolerance for bullshit. They like directness and come to expect it in their relationships but also from themselves. When you know your limits and what you are capable of, it becomes far easier to be free to be yourself. Perhaps it's strength through self-realization?


I believe it has affected me, and that the effects are positive.

Meeting people online taught me that there are people out there who can understand me, and who share my feelings and interests (I previously didn't have people like that in my life).

After spending time on the Internet, I became more willing to take chances with what I said to face-to-face friends, but so far it has panned out -- the few I have opened up to are much closer to me than they ever could have been otherwise.

If I ever open up to someone and they can't accept the "real" me, then I still won't consider it a mistake to have spoken my mind. I think it's probably better to know sooner rather than later whether you're compatible with someone. Prior to finding Internet community, I had some face-to-face "friendships" that went on for years without the other person ever really knowing anything about me beyond a surface level.

Being lonely in a crowd is no better than being lonely by oneself -- for me, it was worse. So, I'm very glad the Internet gave me the opportunity to learn that I can be fully myself and still be likable/lovable.

The acceptance I've gained from people on the Internet has given me the courage to seek that same level of intimacy with people in "real" life, and my life is much better for it.

A life of pretending is no life at all, on the Internet or anywhere else.